I can get any foot-long at Subway for $5, and I can hook you up with the same deal.

My job is to throw bombs to start avalanches and rescue injured people from snowy mountains.

I've crossed the Gobi desert on a camel, narrowly escaped death in the Amazon, and climbed and skied the highest mountain in Alaska. I like to recharge with trips to the desert, backcountry skiing, cooking healthy meals, happy hour with friends, and singing Bob Marley songs. I’m always down for playing board games or doing the waterslide at the rec center.

Please don’t message me if you’re a stripper or you voted for George Bush the second time; it’s not going to work between us. If you can keep up with me on skis, that would impress me. If you are passionate about something, can hold a conversation about current events, have good spelling and punctuation skills, are into recycling, kind to plants and animals and are up for watching Jeopardy, I would find any of those qualities equally sexy.

One thing to think about is that you need to convey that you have high standards and don't settle.

"I can get any foot-long at Subway for $5, and I can hook you up with the same deal."
Clever. But you are a $5 whore for any girl?

"If you are passionate about something, can hold a conversation about current events, have good spelling and punctuation skills, are into recycling, kind to plants and animals and are up for watching Jeopardy, I would find any of those qualities equally sexy."
All these are pretty common qualities.

It kinda sounds like any girl will do which conveys that you are not a challenge, not high status, and not worth working for.

_________________
Believing is Seeing

Thanks for the feedback.

Anybody else?

A couple of great books are Derek Cajun's gentlemans guide to online dating and there is a section in the Mystery Method about the subject, as well. I learned a wealth of info about creating the perfect profile from these after experimenting a ton with what works and what doesn't for the last 7 years. Your photos are what creates your life story, so you want to show your DHV via photos, not text as you do. I also wouldn't qualify women on your profile. This can be done when emailing or on the phone.

I like to recharge with trips to the desert, backcountry skiing, cooking healthy meals, happy hour with friends, and singing Bob Marley songs. I’m always down for playing board games or doing the waterslide at the rec center

You do communicate humor, which is great, but this part above is the only part that I would keep due to what the rest of the profile communicates. You want to communicate that you're fun of course and not too serious about online dating. Something that got me TONS of responses is saying that I was good at things like "thumb war" or "paper football" "pencil fighting"or something ridiculous and fun, oh and "I can eat copious amounts of cheescake since I have a Mach 5 metabolism" "Some hate me, some wish that they could BE me". Never lie about your height and have at least 1 photo of you w/ hot girls, 1 w/ your good looking buddies and a few of you in the dessert or rain forest doing the exciting things that will lure them into finding out more about the exciting you. The reason behind the photos is to communicate your social value, so too many solo photos of yourself and they'll think you don't have any friends. I also list lots of specific bands, fav stores, food and other things that gives a girl "ammo" for conversation starters w/ me.

Good luck

This is very helpful. Thank you!