Im in college and this girl I'm talking about lives in my dorm. She has a boyfriend but its a long distance relationship because when she's at college she cant see him at all unless its through SPAM etc. She knows that I know that she has a boyfriend. Since its Winter break I havent been able to see her so Ive been texting her. Let me first tell you how it all started....

Basically when I first met her she was only considered as a friend to me but as I get to know her better I started to like her more and more. The day before she left to go back home for winter break, we both pulled all nighters just hanging out in her room. Her roommate left us alone because she knew I liked her and didn't want to interfere. During that night, it was just us two hanigng out for several hours, I would say around 5 or 6. During that time there were a lot of IOI such as our heads right next to each other, she would poke me, write on my arms etc. At one point we were basically lying next to each other on her bed just laughing, talking, and playing games. So winter break starts and I start texting her and we would text for days nonstop. There would be times when she would mention her boyfriend but I didn't let that phase me. One day I took my friends advice and I asked about her realtionship and how it was going. She was telling me how it was going rocky and she didn't know what to do. At one point she told me it seemed like I was trying to break them up but didnt seem affected much by it. We just kept on texting after the topic changed. While texting one time I mustered up the courage and straight up told her that I liked her. She first thought of it as a joke but I cleared it up so she knows I do like her. The thing is SHE KEPT TEXTING ME even after finding out that I liked her and she has a boyfriend. While texting (a different day) we decided to hang out with each other when we come back to college by watching a movie in my dorm on friday night (Idk if you would consider this a date). On a different day she started asking me these really personal questions and the one that got me was "based on what you know with my realtionship with my boyfriend, what do you think should happen?" I didnt want to straight up tell her to break up with her boyfriend so i told her that I couldnt give her a unbiased answer becuase I liked her so if she still liked him then she should still be with him. Her response to that was, thanks for your opinion (Whats that suppose to mean).Anyways we just kept on texting but my friend told me that I should start avoiding her texts and ignore her. So the next time she texted I never responded and we never texted after that. Also when we text, she can sometimes be super flirty like, she would say you'll miss me right? or cause i look so pretty in it right? But whenever I try to flirt back by saying yea etc. she would then change the topic. SO my question is, is she leading me on or does she really like me? ALso the last text she sent said something like, "you could have met (her boyfriends name) that day (through SPAM)" WHICH COMPLETELY THROWS ME OFF

It seems like shes also confused...
she likes you, but shes in a relationship and its a complicated situation,
she's having a hard time trying to make the right decision.
that's one option....
the second one, is that maybe shes missing that male attention she doesn't get
from her boyfriend anymore because of the long distance relationship,
in that case your just a boyfriend substitute...

I don't think you should totally ignore her, that would make it easier for her to decide.
I think you should make it very clear to her how you feel and what you want.

hope this was helpful

cheers,

I totally agree with this poster's statement.

You have to straightforwardly tell her that you like her (sexually, of course), but you also have to get a straight answer from her on whether or not she reciprocates your feelings.

Next time you see her (in person, not over text), sit her down and ask her to tell you exactly where she stands with regards to her feelings towards you. Does she like you more than her current boyfriend? Does she have some degree of attraction for you, but not enough to convince her to break up with her current boyfriend for you? Does she even have any sexual/romantic feelings for you? You need to stop wasting your time wondering about what she wants with you and find out for yourself. If she doesn't like you sexually (or at least not enough to merit leaving her current BF), then so what? You're in college. There are literally hundreds of other attractive girls who'd be more than willing to reciprocate your romantic and/or sexual desires if you only made your desires clear to them, and asked them if they shared your desires.

In conclusion: find out if this relationship with this girl is going anywhere, and if not, move on. Keep her as a friend if you like her personality, but don't turn down other options for romantic/sexual companionship.

Also, don't be so cold by ignoring her, that's a really dick move IMO, and will only hurt the relationship you built up with her so far. She didn't do anything to deserve the silent SPAM.

Best of luck.

_________________
"Chi pecora si fa, il lupo se la mangia."
-Italian Proverb
Translation:
"Who acts the sheep, the wolf shall eat."

I have been in the exact same situation myself. Whatever you do, do not do anything unless she finishes it with her boyfriend. If something happens between you while she is still in a relationship, then all it will cause is a mess. Besides, even though you don't know the other guy, still give him some respect.

Karma. It does hit back.

_________________
Half Greek, half English. Just the good halves.

Never do a polarizing thing! Either this or that! No such thing in this world will ever work.
Never totally ignore but never totally give undivided attention.

Max out your connection with people on multiple level.

In this unique situation I would recommend feeling things out, polish the relationship be it friendship or close friends with perspective for something else... someday.

Study different types of women, theoretically, and decide what type she is. Define your strategy based on the fact that you'r still in difficult situation.

Seasons change, so do people, they develop their sexuality and preferences in time, be it alone or in relationships, wheels are turning inside and their clocks are ticking.

A bit more insights to your question:
People are uncertain. Men enjoy flattery and approval. Women NEED Approval, Desperately!
Under the set circumstances you've become best friends. She needs to see you as Sexually Driven individual. Not just a SPECIAL guy she has in her life that she can consider as PlanB in case her boyfriends leaves her. Basically, you've become that special somebody that she shares connection. Now it's friendship. If you want to make it more than that, consider these several UNIVERSAL facts of female psychology:
- Women need STRENGHT of Character in a Guy (If you want her to view you as a man in her life, Be strong, decisive and LEAD on the way of your interactions). This girl is most likely unconfident about herself and
- NEED JEALOUSY ( Develop your game further! So far it's been to accomodate that woman in your life, show that brain of yours a bit of torture and walk the walk of seduction. You'd think differently about this situation with that girl once you find a perspective. An emotional anchorage from which you could be Dispassionate, Analytical and FIRM, even crude to your own feelings.
That's manhood. Embrace it asap.
- NEVER EVER EVER let her Think SHE HAS YOU! NEVER! (Have options and develop your game, meet new women; get a fresh perspective)
- CHALLENGE her daily. Find more about her and challenge her prefferences. There's ways to do it, you'd know what I'm on about should you ever get seriously interested.

Tons of things I can add, but in essence:
- Go out, meet new girls, get your minds straight! New people bring fresh emotions; flush those love toxins out of your brain, give it some time.
- Get a book called "Secrets of Female Sexuality" by David Shade. (Good read!)
- Be cool, learn to think dispassionately about women and turn the table a bit, Let them Chase you. Again, takes practice like any other thing, but easy to do.
- Realize the fundamential difference and laws of attraction, relationships, thinking paradigms, and overall psychology of the sexes. Ours is fundamentally different from theirs.

Let us know how things turn out.


Best
ATNSTN

Have you considered how would your situation be if she would brake up with her boyfriend in order to stay with you and become your girlfriend? Would you trust this women? What she did to her previous boyfriend she could also do to you. How could you trust her this way? Have you considered this? I think - if you have feelings for her - you should refuse to be in the position she is putting you, because you would absolutely hate to be in that position she is putting her boyfriend.
As a general rule, this situation is not good. But of course there are exceptions: the girl can be in a poor relationship and happens to be really in love with you. However, by your description of the facts, that doesn't look like to be the case. It seems that she is being rather girly about it, with the flirts and all. It sounds like that she is only having fun with all this.
I don't know the full context of your life, but maybe it is the case that you are investing a lot of your mental and emotional energy on this interaction alone. Man, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Meet other girls and invest in other interactions.
One solution could be to keep the friendship with her and avoid being dragged emotionally by it (meeting other women will help in the process). Keep a respectable distance in that friendship and wait until she breaks up with the boyfriend. It seems to me the only way you could be with her in the future and still trust her, although I have doubts even about this possibility: the facts that you have already described would be enough to be rather suspicious about her, being in a "boyfriend" position.
Moreover, it is pretty evident that she is not a mature woman. If it were the case that you wanted just to have some sex and let it go, you could go on. But it looks like you really like her. To think about having a relationship with someone whose dishonesty you are witnessing so closely sounds like crazy to me.

Kind regards,
C.Rabello.

I've been in the same predicament before. But, I'm with the general consensus on having options. No one died from having other options. Just keep on gaming on. Ignore the guilty feelings for this one girl. Believe me, if there is one thing that destroys a good game, it's guilt.

I think you should've kissed her already, sounds like you had many chances to, for eg. when you were lying on her bed next to each other.

Might be getting too late now. Whatever you do, try not to text too much about your feelings with her. If you text too much about it, you'll put alot of pressure on her which can lead to her flaking or feeling awkward and confused when she's with you.

When you sense it's the moment to touch her when you're with her next, just do it. Take her hand, kiss her neck when you're sitting with her. Sounds like you can't go wrong, worth a shot!

All the best

have you touched her at ALL? it sounds like you have entered the friend zone to me brotha... Kino escalation is key..

a boyfriend in a different state is a pebble in your shoe. go for it. if he cant hold onto his girl, thats his own problem.