I contacted this girl on a dating site that I had an unusual amount of stuff in common with. I sent her a short message but didn't hear back. We live really far apart so I decided to send a follow up message letting her know that I was moving to her area. I should have mentioned that in the first email since I figured distance could have been the issue.

I got a super long reply in return. It may be the longest first reply I've ever gotten from a girl. She apologized for not getting back to me sooner, wrote several paragraphs worth of stuff, said she'd love to hear from me, and asked me multiple questions. She even marked my profile that she was interested even though I had not marked her profile yet. I sent back a long reply which is something I normally try to avoid but I wanted to answer all her questions and marked her profile that I was interested.

It's been a couple of days now since I sent that reply and I have not heard back from her even though she's read the message and has been back on the site at least twice. I'm thinking this may not mean anything. I know that I often will read messages on dating sites or even just regular email and respond to them at a later time especially if they're longer messages. It's still frustrating though.

I'm thinking the only thing I can and should do is wait. I'd like another person's perspective on this though. I'm thinking I should give her at least a full week and then send an additional message (suggestions on message contest?) if I haven't gotten another reply by then. Another option would be trying to catch her in chat when she's logged into the site but that may not be possible. Thoughts? In the mean time I'll continue contacting and replying to other girls.

If she doesn't write back, it's dead in the water. For the sake of your frame, don't turn this into a one-itis, or it'll ruin your chances with other girls who might be more interested. I'd advise not sending another message.

What would make a girl write a long detailed message and then not reply again? Seems like a complete 180. I've had discussions falter before but there are usually signs like a message or two that stall beforehand. I'm thinking it was a mistake to write such a long message in reply even though her message was long. Normally I try to keep my messages around the same length as the girl's and that seems to work well but maybe not in a case like this?

I actually agree with you about not writing back (at least for now) without a reply especially since I did it once before although successfully. A somewhat similar situation happened to me with another girl a while back and I decided not to do a follow up. A week later I heard back from her and we even eventually went out so I know being patient can and does pay off.

I should mention that this is on a niche dating website and it's hard finding compatible girls. Let me throw a hypothetical out to you. Assuming I don't hear back what do you think of me sending her a short cocky/funny message if I see she's still on the site in a month or two?

I literally just went through something like this. Had a great conversation with a girl, and then it stopped dead in the water even though she logged into the site for several days. Then she finally got back to me. Turned out she had gone to Illinois for Christmas and could only get internet on her phone, so she just wasn't answering messages then.

Point is, lapses in communication can be anything. If she doesn't respond in a couple days, send her a follow-up like "hey dork, still alive? Do I need to send the hounds to rescue you?" or some shit. If she doesn't get back, move on.

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D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

I saw your topic. It's tough not knowing when or if someone will get back to you and why they haven't. Girls on dating sites also seem inherently flaky.

I like your idea but I think I should wait at least a week. Would it be a good a idea to call a self-described shy girl a dork?

I've used this one on different girls when it suddenly stops for no apparent reason.

Hey [insert her name/nickname], haven't heard from you in like ages. Everything ok over there?

Worked pretty well for me. I might have to change it up a bit and make it more playfull like what TheRedBaron said.

The hard part is when it happens again. Then what do you say...

Here's some hard truth. She doesn't know you. So for her to just flake is easier when its online then if you met her at a bar. Yea you may have had some amazing conversation but the fact is that you cant read her body language which makes it impossible to tell how she really feels. I would actually suggest hitting her back up though. Who cares, just write what ^^ said, "Hey dork, you still alive?" If she responds, cool, if not, there's probably 30 other sexy girls that you can send a message to.

Also here's what I write, always earns a reply.

"Hey I don't get on here much, kinda lost faith in online sites, but I think I'd like to meet you!"

Yea I know its not C/F but it works.

I noticed overall dating site activity has been much lower the past few days probably because of NYE. I think I'll just take a break from dating sites until the end of the week. Maybe by then I'll have gotten a reply.

If I haven't gotten a reply by then I'll send a follow-up. Should I stick with a super short message or should I mention what I did on NYE as well? My original messages she replied to were funny and interesting but my last message was too detailed and boring imo so I'd like to re-establish myself as funny and interesting with the follow-up.