Getting rejected, taking action, is better then not approaching at all.

_________________
The Learning Journal:
--> wallies-journal-vt141967.html

It depends on where you are in your life.

Rejection can motivate you too...make you hungry to improve. However, it can really hurt as well. Its a double-edged sword that should be handled with care.

that's pretty much a natural feeling but stop putting yourself in situations you feel "crushed" over rejection. I'm 33. I've pulled my share of HB's and been rejected by more than my share. Eventually you get numb to it. For me I am too a point I think rejection is funny.

But think of it like this; each woman you interact with is a stepping stone. If you get "rejected" use it as a learning experience but think of it as a step. 100% of the women you interact with aren't going to turn you down. so the ones that do means you are just one step closer to the next lay, or next gf, or whatever. Chasing women is kind of like selling vacuum cleaners door to door. Most people are going to say no, but if you keep knocking on the doors and talking, it's impossible for 100% to say no. Some people have been selling vacuum cleaners for a living for years and make big money at it now

if you care its never going to go numb. That's what i am tryign to tell you guys. If you really want a girl its going to always hurt. Now the stronger your will gets the better you can deal with that. Honestly, guys I wanted the power to get any girl. Thats why I got into pick-up. I want to never feel rejection again. I wanted to never be hurt again. I want power. And the more I listen to guys the more it sounds like you just want to accept powerlessness. It sounds people want to just change their lifestyles and accept getting rejected and get some ass every now and then. No. No. No. I want a woman that I love deeply, I want a woman that I am crazy about and and I want to be able to make her love me. That's what I want. Jeeeez!

You shouldn't feel rejection as hurtful is what needs to be restated. You need to realize true power is the ability to give it up all together. Those who obsess for power never gain it, yet the most powerful of all act as though they'll never have it.

I feel you man, I'm on your same ground when it comes to women. I want a woman I can spend the rest of my life with, a woman to marry, love, etc. The reality of man kind is this: You can never force a woman to love you. The unfortunate truth is you can love a woman and be her "perfect" man but that will never ever make her love you. You can counterfeit love and all these emotions but if a woman truly loves you it will still be "different".

The best advice is still to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem. These are attractive traits on men, if you have high self-confidence and high self-esteem you'll rarely get denied by women.

Nobody has a perfect batting average with women, it is a mythical concept some douche PUA gurus used to market their product. Stop fantasizing on this concept of never getting rejected it is simply NON-EXISTENT. The fact is if you want the full spectrum of human emotion you have to take the good(love) with the bad(love hurt), you can't decide to have one and not the other, simply make a choice. If you want love you must expose yourself to her so she can fall for you as well.

Keep your life simple realize your goal which you do: Find a woman you can fall in deep love with and be with for the rest of your life.

Now what does it take to reach your goal?

You must put yourself out there and risk pain and rejection.
You must learn to gain skills with women - Communication, sex, understanding, etc.
You must get hurt.
You must risk in order to gain.
You must gain self-confidence.
You must make yourself attractive to women.
You must mature and get wise.

Now all of these tasks are the same as every pick up artist for the most part (get hurt is more the relationship but it certainly happens to most puas). You need to get out of your own way and seriously just go to work on yourself, improving yourself, loving yourself, becoming certain of yourself, stop thinking about this shit and complicating it. The process is simple get better with women, build your confidence, learn to attract women, risk it, learn and progress.

It sucks but there is no magic formula, you simply have to get over rejection, it is going to happen. Even after you find that woman of your dreams, she's going to reject you for sex or experiences here and there. Rejection is a part of life, just learn to accept it and you'll be much happier. Every month someone comes on and mentions this shit, it's unrealistic to think you can can go rejectionless, and I practice a fairly rejectionless game. Even if you read their attraction and interest you could go in and get rejected based off of a variety of reasons, as you gain more experiences you'll get rejected less and less but you still must get rejected here and there.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Just accept it? No. Dude that sounds awful. I'm trying to be the hero of my life not the victim. You talk like a victim. You limit yourself by being "realistic."

And I have confidence and self-esteem. I make it a focal point to always approach the hottest women. Just as a matter of principle.

When you get your hopes up it will always hurt. You just get better at dealing with it. You get better at dealing with it because of success, not failure. When you have succeed you know, you know you will succeed again.

But, if you get rejected you may very well feel I can't do this or I am tired of doing this.


I'm a go getter.

Reality is here whether you show up or not. My reality is so much bigger than you'll ever imagine sir, you seem to believe that reality sucks, perhaps for you but for some of us our reality is fucking awesome. What is realistic to me is probably ridiculously unrealistic to you, I can tell because of all of your responses.

You can have a very high close rate and guess what? You still get rejected. Don't come on a pick up artist forum and think you can all of a sudden change the path that we have forged our entire life through TRIAL AND ERROR.... Rejection and adjustment is what the key is.

LOL- You think approach hot women is self-esteem and self-confidence? WAKE THE FUCK UP. Approach has shit to do with self-confidence or self-esteem, you can get confident approaching women but this doesn't mean you have self-esteem or self-confidence. I strongly feel throughout the whole book "The Game" Mystery had ZERO self-confidence.. I was confident playing pool far before I was self-confident.

You say all you say yet I'm the guy out getting laid while you are..... Just saying one way has proven to never work and one way has proven to actually work.

NEVER TRY NEVER FAIL.

There you go now you'll never get rejected. Never go out and try, wait for some woman to wildly seduce you and never cheat on you, oh wait, of course she will. Women want a grown man that goes after what he wants, the only way you avoid rejection is to never try. Again I practice a rejectionless game style, read and react, pick up on approach cues, exhibit attractive behaviors, gain the attention of the target, etc. You still will get rejected even with all the bull shit safety.

PLEASE I BEG OF YOU GO WORK ON YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM, you need this on so many levels or I wouldn't keep repeating it. There was a previous banned member here who had that same arrogance per say, everyone here tried to argue with him, yet he was asking amateur questions. You seem to be right on track with him.

Once you begin to change your mind and open it you will see the world as so much bigger, don't worry I had to do it to, sometimes we simply aren't ready to except things, but sooner or later you have to come down to planet earth.

Good luck on your blind path sir, I hope you open your eyes soon, before you fall off the side of the trail into what unknown danger(metaphorical of course).

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

And How am I arrogant? You keep telling me I don't have self-confidence. That's condescending.

Man, you keep responding to me like you are not even reading what I am saying. I get laid. I started the post off by saying getting laid increases your confidence exponentially. I've used trial and error and my opinion is too much focus is placed on the error. Yes never try never fail. But, too much praise is given to rejection and there is too much acceptance of it. It doesn't seem right. Its not right.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying to avoid a girl because you're scared of getting hurt. That's weak, but I'm saying be aware of how that failure may hurt your comfidence; protect yourself. I think pick up basically ignores the need to advance at a measured pace when you are buidling your confidence. I think it also ignores how a failure can push your progress back. Its happened to me so I know. I don't think you would ever ask yourself the question "how would my confidence be affected if I fail?' its something important to consider when you are developing your self at anything. It is something to be considered in your decision making process.

I'm saying have a strategy that is sure of success. Also, I'm not saying only approach girls you would succeed with. I am saying have a strategy that should work on everyone. That is what I am looking for. And only by not being "realistic' and pushing for that can we ever create that.

But, this post is about the joy of success...the pleasure of victory. Achievement...it builds confidence. Not failure.

Pickup is the only game I know where people think losing is good.

It seems like this guy is giving you some pretty sound advice and you are just wanting to argue with him. Let me piggy back on what he is saying. PUA training or forums is not going to get you into a relationship. It's certainly not going to put you on a path that you will never get rejected.

women are a very odd species of human life. They love,hate,like, and dislike things for very odd reasons which often times is out of our control. I don't give a shit if you draw up the perfect sexiest looking man, make him a millionaire with a great personality or take a composite of what the average pretty girl looks for in a man, roll it up in to one and call it "invictustwo" and thats who you are, you are STILL GOING TO GET REJECTED MORE OFTEN THAN YOU DO NOT. Stop worrying about getting broken hearted. Once it happens once or twice you get numb to it. We live in a society where women have social media, dating websites, and a whole host of whatever else right in the palm of their hand on a wireless telephone. Chances ARE, whatever situation you just got your rejection from, before you find your happiness it's going to happen a lot more often. Stop sulking and stop thinking PUA or this forum is going to eliminate that issue.

Invictus means unconquerable.

His advice and your advice is don't worry about getting broken hearted. I think you should worry about getting broken hearted. You should worry about it because it can really set you back. I'm speaking from experience. Do you think that rejection can hurt or even ruin your progress?

Do you think it makes sense for guys to just accept rejection. That contradicts everything society teaches. It contradicts everything I have learned in school. It contradicts everything I have learned from sports. Society and life teaches you to be a winner, too many pick up artists are like well fuck it! what is that? Honestly, I am a little mad because I used to follow that advice.

I think what will help an AFC more than anything is to get some achievements. Get some numbers, get some dates, get some pussy, and get a good girl friend. Thats what builds confidence.

It seems like the standpoint of where you are coming from is where you are in life with age and experience. I have a feeling that this "rejection" you speak of is recent and someone you cared about and you didn't realize she didn't care as much about you. In almost every relationship, one party has more invested than the other. Regardless of the situation it is most likely the first, or most serious time it's happened to you and you are hurt. Natural human instinct is to feel hurt, lost, hopeless and searching for answers in your situation. The first woman I was ever infatuated with who I got to have sex with ultimately made me cry and feel your way. I was 25. Eight years later, I've been a little disappointed by several women I slept with b/c I ultimately realized they were in love with someone else. BUT for the most part I have been the one to make women cry. Some of the ones I slept with could make my dick hard and even been suitable wives but I didn't put in enough effort outside the bed b/c I wanted to chase something better. If not necessarily hotter than someone with no kids, or a better personality or someone I had more in common with.

The ultimate catch 22 you are going to have in life is that you can continue to go all in emotionally only to get your heart broken and maybe some day it won't, or you can be the one to break hearts. In the world of internets and fancy phones and pua tactics and such, true love and compatibility is extremely rare to find.

Thank you man.

This is a lot of back and forth over personal psychology.

We're also dealing with two totally different types of rejection. Random girl in bar ignoring you is rather different from two year girlfriend dumping you. The second one is going to take a toll on anyone that isn't a sociopath.
But yeah, rejection by random girls stacks up. Anyone who's done this for any period of time knows full well that nothing breeds a three week dry spell like a one week dry spell. Success fosters success and failure drives failure. Momentum isn't just confined to physics. It carries over to your dating life as well. But it affects different people by different amounts. A lot of guys can't handle a few dozen rejections in a row and they quit out of frustration.

I think the community as a whole is misguided with it's "Shoot for the stars from day one" outlook. When you start out, get good at picking up girls like you've dated in the past. Maybe even slightly less attractive. Then ratchet up as you get better. Yeah, you learn something from failure, but you learn a lot more from success. There are far more wrong ways to act than right ways, and you need a lot of good frames of reference. The more success you have, the more solid a foundation and better inclinations and tuning you'll have to other scenarios. It's a lot better to know what parts of the approach are going right and where to guide things than be running through a checklist of ways to not blow things.

_________________
RSDTyler

I agree. You can't be a bitch and take it personally, but if you're 95% sure a situation is not going to workout just avoid it unless you're extremely blown away by the girl.

Agreed.

The only way to build confidence is to be present, talk highly of yourself, get on with achieving your goals in life, and waking up early in the morning.

Get the fundamentals sorted, and confidence will come automatically.