Was having this great conversation with a super cute girl on OKC, we're both into the same stuff.... and then she drops the conversation dead. Her profile was super forward about finding someone to just hang with and fuck, also that she didn't like e-mailing back and forth too much and preferred to meet quickly. So I can't see why asking for the number would do it, especially when the talk was going so well. When I do that with a girl I'm getting on great with, she usually just says she wants to talk more, or whatever.

Maybe you guys can offer some insight. Here's the conversation..... :


ME:
11:05am
Being a writer is no fuckin picnic... You planning on going the teaching-while-getting-published route or starving-artist-living-in-a-cardboard-box route?


HER:
11:11am
Teaching-while-getting-published. I'm entrenching myself as much as possible in academia. But who knows? I am studying goddamn poetry, so I should probably get used to the feel of a cardboard box.
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ME:
11:39am
I feel your pain... I'm looking at being a creative writing teacher, but it's not easy. If I go the cardboard box route, you can move in and I'll split the rent with you... just as long as you don't leave your clothes everywhere or play Slayer super loud or something. I'm ####, btw


HER:
12:11pm
Oh man we might have a problem there, Slayer is meant to be played at full volume right next to cardboard-box-roommates heads, and I never wear my clothes so they're constantly strewn about I'm hoping to teach creative writing as well, obv. I taught a class of middle school kids for a semester in high school and it was really fun, definitely what I want to do (although I'd prefer college age kids skill-wise and so I can swear a bunch). Nice to meet you ####, I'm ####.
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ME:
12:33pm
Wow, your college housemates must have looooved living with you Fine fine, as long as you keep it down when you have a guy over... 3rd year, 2 of my girl housemates started dating and had incredibly loud lesbian sex all the goddamn time. It would've been hot if it didn't always keep me up. Oh man, no way would I be able to get through teaching a class w/o swearing, i have low tolerance for bad grammar and story structure, haha. Do you write fiction too or only poetry?


HER:
2:42pm
Oh everyone loves living with me! Naked and noisy, all day every day. Lesbians, while totally hot, can have sex for fucking HOURS and they're always real loud about it. Yeah I actually did swear quite a bit at my class of middle schoolers, they just loved me more for it. I write fiction and nonfiction in addition to poetry. I'm also working on a screenplay idea but its shit as of now. What about yourself? You strike me as a fiction writer for some reason
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ME:
2:56pm
Man, sounds like I'd never get any peace and quiet around you Interesting... what makes you think I'm in fiction? I dabbled in your basic angsty/emo teenage high school poetry, but yeah, my strength is in fiction. Currently I write for a literary e-mag. You should totally check this site out: fanstory.com (and no, I don't work for them) It's fucking MAGIC for getting feedback on writing of any kind. What's your screenplay about?

I don't usually check this thing and you seem pretty cool. Are you emotionally available for text messaging?

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

You said it yourself. She was straightforward about finding someone to fuck and you were playing it too safe in the friendzone. You didn't create any sexual tension. She dropped you a hint at her last message about sex, yet you didn't follow up and changed the topic. It's online dating bro, everyone is on there to get laid to fill the emptiness within them. DO NOT afraid to make a move. Get SEXUAL since the very first message. Either the chicks take it or leave it.

PS: Also, don't jump their hoops. You control the conversation. You DO NOT need to answer every question she asks. Choose the topic you want and lead her into it. In this case, you should have gone further into the sex topic instead of answering her question about writing fiction.

_________________
,___,
[O.o] .: Survival Guide For Online Dating
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-"--"-

Fuck, you're right... Think there's any way I can salvage this? Normally I'd just move on, but there aren't many attractive girls in my area that aren't club rats

Thinking of sending something up front and 'real', like:

"Okay, I was playing it laid back since being up front seems to freak girls out on here, so let's be real for a second... I'm shipping out to teach English in Korea in a couple months, so I'm not looking for anything serious- just someone who enjoys really great sex that I can talk to as well. Sounds like that's also what you want. I think we should exchange numbers, maybe set up a time to meet and check each other out."

Something in that vein. I'll probably wait til tomorrow to do it, don't want to look needy. Thoughts?

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

It reeks of neediness! Clear your head for a few days then you will be able to come up with a better one.

Let's break it down. You're already in bad shape, she got bored because you didn't make your move. Be bold and up front like that at this moment would be like admitting the fact that you bored her and attempted your last ditch effort to win her back. The best way to do this is make her think she might have made a wrong judgement about you. And there are many layers of your personality she hasn't discovered yet.

So if you really feel the need to respond, use something playful with sexual innuendo.

PS: Stop with the pointless questions. Your conversation should only serve two purposes:
1 - Create DEEP connection with her to improve rapport and comfort. Meaning the questions have to engage her emotions, not the superficial stuffs where she can go autopilot mode on. For EX: Her fiction. Rather ask her how she feel when she writes or why did she choose to write etc...
2 - Create sexual tension.

That's about it. Any other fluffy talk which doesn't serve those two purpose is useless.

_________________
,___,
[O.o] .: Survival Guide For Online Dating
/)__) .:Tips To Significantly Improve Your Online Game
-"--"-

Holy shit, all of that sounds so much better than what I was going to do. Thanks man, I'll leave it alone for a day and come back to this instead.

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

Keep in mind that you can be up front and bold to other girls you game. But don't be apologetic for being a man who knows what he want. Why would you have to play laidback because it freaks girls out? Don't tell them that.

And when you ask them out, be specific about your plan. Don't be vague. Use more alpha words. For EX: when asking for number, I'd usually just say "You're fun. Shoot me your number. Let's text.". I don't ask, I don't use "should".

_________________
,___,
[O.o] .: Survival Guide For Online Dating
/)__) .:Tips To Significantly Improve Your Online Game
-"--"-

Yeah, this is the mindset I used to function under in game before, but since I've been out of it for a while, i guess i forgot

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

UPDATE:

looks like she was in Illinois for Christmas and had no internet connection, so she got back to me today. Was very into the conversation and everything. Thanks to your line, we went right from talking about fiction and writing into talking about sex, how we'd be together, what we like/want to do, etc. Had a 20 minutes IM convo, then I got her #.

Thanks for the help GKS. That adventurous line is money.

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

Did you end up sending that follow-up message before you heard back from her?

The naughty-list one? Yeah. And I'm glad I did, cuz it turned a completely non-sexual conversation into a super sexual one (right off the bat she told me she did a 3some, had sex in her car in high school with another girl, etc. etc.) Of course, keep in mind this girl is super up front about sex and not all girls are.

I'm meeting her in 2 hours. Will post how it goes for those interested.

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

We're rooting for you! Tell us how it goes.

Probably f-close as he hasn't gotten back to us

_________________
,___,
[O.o] .: Survival Guide For Online Dating
/)__) .:Tips To Significantly Improve Your Online Game
-"--"-

No f-close since we both live with our folks and it was at night, but a good makeout sesh. She has her house all to herself on weekdays and says I'm welcome to come over to "smoke, drink and chill." We talked about sex almost the entire date. And this one was actually just as cute as her pictures made her out to be. Small, petite, white-blond hair, cute as fuck face. Thanks for the help GKS

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.

I would have just done her in the car or some park because it seems to me that she's totally up for it. And it shows how fun and adventurous I am. Usually I throw in future projection and including her int it while talking about sex to gauge her reactions, if she plays along, I know I can fuck her anytime I want. If she doesn't, it also works in my advantage since the images have been planted in her head.

But good work. Here's a trick I often use if there is time gap. Sexting her with lot of sensual details and suspensions. Then say this "You know what would so hot? Me showing up at your door in 30 minutes, you're wearing nothing but your sexiest lingerie, open the door and bend over for me. We won't do any awkward kiss on the cheek or silly hug, our first touch would be the feeling my cock sliding inside your pussy....." You get the idea I have done that, it was quite fun. She couldn't wait after I texted that and we fucked right at the doorway with her parents sleeping in the other room.

_________________
,___,
[O.o] .: Survival Guide For Online Dating
/)__) .:Tips To Significantly Improve Your Online Game
-"--"-

I would have done car sex but the car wasn't mine (mine's in the shop) and it was pretty damn spick n span. I did a bit of future projection with her on OKC chat before I got her # and she totally played along. That sexting sounds fun, I might think something up

_________________
D.G.A.F. isn't just a state. It's a lifestyle.