I don't know about you guys,but when I pull a HB I feel like I can conquer the world the next day. It feels like I could kill a fucking lion with my bare hands.

But, rejection can be crushing...

Happens to everyone.. best thing to do is move on to the next one..!

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What makes an average looking guy instantly become “hot”?

Rejection isn't really to be taken personally, although it does happen and can dent your pride. The best thing you can do is dust it off and move onto another set.

On a night out most good looking women probably get approached dozens of times each night by total AFC's, you already have an edge over most guys with the knowledge you have so don't be disheartened by it.

There is no 100% method of pick up no matter how good looking you are or how tight your game is.

Rejection is but a lesson, you should react to rejection as constructive criticism. The ego is what enjoys the attention, high self-confidence and high self-esteem do not react to positive or negative experiences. This doesn't mean you don't enjoy positive experiences it's that your self-worth isn't effected one way or the other. With high self-confidence you already value yourself and that doesn't change regardless.

If rejection is crushing you, you are far too effected by another person's opinion of you. More often then not it is a sign of low self-esteem but large ego. I was like this for YEARS, so I understand it, one of the best things I ever gained was low ego HIGH self-confidence and self-esteem. I'd recommend finding a very good confidence book (be sure to follow the tasks not just learn about them) or a good confidence coach, this should be of a big help.

When I hook up with a girl it's no big deal, and that is how it should be. The minute it becomes a big deal is the minute it becomes so special it only happens "here and there".

Good luck with your confidence.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Low self-esteem? Low confidence? What are you talking about? rejection can be heart wrinching if you want someone bad enough. Heartache and self-confidence I don't see how they are related.

Sounds like your talking about contentment.

It's about putting your heart into something and then being letting down. That's crushing

Now we are talking about ONE girl? I didn't realize that, my apologies, I honestly thought you were referring to one random girl you go to talk to and she shoots you down. I've had girls I wanted so bad and couldn't have (recently even) and I do understand what you are saying, one-itis is entirely different than getting rejected though. This is something you should specify as it changes everything immensely. That said when I couldn't have that woman it wrecked my self-confidence, I didn't value myself, felt a few girls were better than me (only took a couple weeks to fix since it wasn't that low).

If you are talking about some random girl then it has everything to do with your own self-confidence and self-esteem. This I can tell you from what I've witnessed and my own personal experiences. If any outside source affects you(especially people) it is related to your own self-confidence.

I apologize for misinterpreting that you were just talking about random girls, not some specific girl you want. This situation does hurt your confidence immensely though, it also means you have the same problem, you need more maintenance on your confidence (again from my own experiences).

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

They shouldn't be distiinguished because both can be discouraging.

As far as being rejected by someone you really like, you want someone and you can't have them so that hurts. That's gonna hurt no matter who you are. It's like losing a big game.

If you go up to a random stranger and they reject you...obviously this can happen for a million reasons. The woman can be on crack for all you know. But, if you get rejected like 5 times in a night that can be discouraging.

Success feels good. Failure feels bad. Its not complicated.

Apparently it is very complicated for you, Failure is a lesson. Stop with this concept that you should feel bad after failing. You should simply learn from it, and realize that you behaved incorrectly.

No moment or experience is intrinsically bad, your perception of it creates bad or good. I understand what you are trying to say I really do but failure doesn't feel bad on any level if you are mature and wise about the lesson in front of you. It takes a lot of awareness or consciousness as they put it but extracting yourself from the circumstance makes you realize NOTHING IS PERSONAL SO STOP TAKING IT SO PERSONALLY.

If you get rejected 5 times a night it maybe discouraging, but I've observed friends get reject 10 times in a night and it didn't effect them one bit... What is your thought on that? I've watched some guys get rejected by nearly every girl in the bar and STILL walked up confidently to the next one.... They didn't get down on themselves and that is quite obvious.

I understand what you are saying but it is not the mindset of a confident man. This is a huge learning experience for you if you choose to learn it, confident men lose NO VALUE from rejection. You seem to gauge a lot of your value and how you feel on outside influences, why? Rejection is hilarious, think about some of the shit that has happened during rejection. I've been brutalized, but I thought it was hilarious.... Literally laughed in her face. 60 YOC writes in his book about how funny rejection is, and it really is. Laugh at how ridiculous your behavior and/or hers, it usually is pretty funny.

Own your frame, don't let anyone influence it. There is a forum member that said this:

An alpha(confident) man is a man who has an insane level of intrinsic self-worth, and is driven by desire, not ego.

This is my favorite quote on a confident man because it encompasses so much with so little. If you are not effected by rejection you have that insane level of intrinsic self-worth. You are driven by your desire to get laid, not by how other people feel about you(rejection)....

Rejection DOES NOT HURT - your perception of it hurts.

Invictus Two I'm really really trying to help you sir, it's not that I'm trying to hurt you, I'm trying to open your mind to something so much bigger. If you look at everything from a birds eye view, look at this:

You learned to walk by learning how not to walk(falling) repeatedly until you were success.
You learned to talk correctly by being told you were saying it wrong.
You learned to read by people telling you what you were reading wrong.
You learned to do about everything by failure.

Where do you think you would be if you felt horrible every time you fell as a kid and gave up?
What about if you stopped trying to just say it right rather than correcting it?

Do you see my point? Failure is a NECESSITY we need it to move forward. As Walt Disney would say just "keep moving forward".

Again I say one more time Rejection doesn't hurt(especially the self-confident man) only your perception does. It is but an experience that doesn't move his value in either direction, it is merely constructive criticism that you should take for what it is. You need to adjust nothing more, your value as a human has not changed, your emotions shouldn't be changed, NOTHING should change.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I mean your attitude makes a difference, your mindset. but...

When you failed as a child your parents encouraged you then you overcame the failure and eventually succeeded. It wasn't the failure that makes you stronger but the encouragement.

Failure can motivate you to work harder, but you first have to believe there's a point to work harder. That belief comes from your experience.

ride a bike 1000 times you will be able to ride a bike and ''KNOW'' exectly what you are doing, along the way you probably fell plenty of times, but both falling on the bike and doing new things with the bike you were uncomfortable with that were unknown were all nessicary to develope that level of competence and confidence, every time you fail you learn something, something has to be improved or changed

now, rejection when it comes to pickup does build confidence, self esteem and ego are not the same as confidence, confidence is a state of certainty it can come moment by moment based on the situation you are in, and it can also come from a core level based on your life experience and ability to be descisive

when you get rejected it can be a big blow to your ego, or if you have a big head about you, it may not have any effect on your ego at all, if reality doesn't line up with the image of what you think you should live up to enough then your ego will be affected and eventually it will affect your self esteem, if the only feedback you recieve is negative eventually you will assosiate a negative context to what it is you are doing, if people constantly reject you, you will develop a lower self persception

this is not the same as being unsure of what you are doing, doing something more and more, only makes you more sure of what you are doing, negative or positive, you can be confident you will fail just as easy as confident you will succeed, certainty is not related to self percieved assesment of ability, your own perseption of your ability is different from your actual ability and is dependant on self esteem

Why ignore the second part of my quote?

...driven by desire, not by ego.

Do you desire to get laid or to avoid public embarrassment and pain? I personally don't give a fuck if someone says the craziest shit to me. I just desire getting laid, I'm not embarrassed or hurt by the pain of "rejection" or failure.

When I failed as a child my parents taught me to take the next step, they were encouraging but it is up to you to surround yourself with supportive people. You are old enough to do such a thing. Actually I feel a huge part of self-confidence is surrounding yourself with the correct people (a lesson I put in my self-confidence program), if you have encouraging friends that say "her loss" when you get rejected that isn't bad. That said at some point it doesn't affect you, because you gain an awareness of how little that actually matters. You see it doesn't matter, it takes work and effort (it's no accident) but you get to an unshakable self-confidence.

Belief doesn't always come from experience.... Do you believe that you would die from falling in a volcano? Why you never experienced it?

Do you believe that you would die from falling off a sky scraper? Why you never experienced it?

Now you will think but it is basic logic, well how logical is it for you to get all torn up for some random girl that you likely won't ever remember her face, body, what she was wearing, sound of her voice, etc.? Some girl that likely won't even remember you? That is how little it matters, it won't even create an actual mark in your memory. It's not rationale at all to be hurt by rejection, just like it's not rationale that you'll be able to fall off a sky scraper and live.

What is rationale is wanting to get laid and saying fuck it to rejection, using it as simply constructive criticism. What is rationale is being motivated to get laid (in fact it is hardwired into every man), not being afraid or hurt by rejection, which is just redundant in the grand scheme of improving in any area.

Just use rejection as 1 thing: constructive criticism to improve in the future.

It really is difficult to adjust your mind, it took me a LONG time to do it but I promise the conscious awareness and investment into changing your outlook is well worth it.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I see how you distingquish self-esteem, self-image, and self-confidence, but I think of self-confidence as expecting something positive to occur.

You're volcano and sky scrapper example is faulty because they are based on other experiences...seeing people fall, experiences with fire, science etc. Also, I never said experience is the only place where belief comes from. With enough encouragement you convince yourself of something completely false. But, the unshakable confidence you speak of comes from experience.

Experience is how you cement yourself. You can think of encouragement as the building blocks for confidence and experience as the cement that holds them in place.

When you succeed you know you can do it. When you fail you know it is not the end of the world, you'll live. However...however failure can take away your desire to continue, failure can also chip away at your belief that you can succeed. In fact failure can ruin your confidence all together, and break your will.

By that same logic you can say I see him getting laid so I can get laid (you reacted exactly as expected). Your rationale argument back didn't at all help but HURT your argument, I wanted you to say exactly what you did, if another can do it you can too! Other guys get laid by performing select tasks, you can do the same with the same adjustments.

Can't gain experience without putting yourself out there. You have to jump out the plane and pull the chord to to feel the rush of the jump. Otherwise your just some guy talking about it.

Failure takes away nothing from the strong minded, it's up to you to instill that strength and will in yourself with focus. Again you don't have the desire if you don't commit, you kind of want to, not absolutely want to. Failure only chips away if you don't adjust your behaviors, of course if you keep doing the same thing over and over again and getting a negative reaction you'll hurt yourself immensely but again don't take it personally simply see it as an opportunity to adjust.

Your focus can be your strength or demise are you going to focus on getting better with women or (not) getting hurt by them? If you focus on getting laid then you focus on the good feeling and you simply adjust your negative behaviors to be more productive for you rather than negative.

Peace and Love,

Vic

_________________
Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Seeing someone else do it is what encourages you. That doesn't contradict what I am saying at all. You can use that to motivate you. But, you're still going to have doubts and fears until you experience it yourself.

However, before you go comparing yourself to other people you have to understand this. People have different levels of confidence and different levels of willpower. Rejection won't shake a guy who is "solid" mentally, however a guy who is just starting out who is insecure because he does not have much success with women yet...he could be defeated by rejection.

Also part of pick up is you want it to be fun. I think everybody just wants to succeed...get girls they like, ya know.