ok so im trying to become the alpha male. and i have a lot of friends, but they dont give me a lot of attention. were just aquainted. how do i get them to really like me, and want to be around me a lot?

Either it is in your character, or it is not.

But alpha male is bullshit in nowadays society as I argued in some thread by some guy ranting about inner game.

Step 1: Go to Amazon.com

Step 2: Order the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

Step 3: Apply it to you life.

_________________
"I cheated on my fear,broke up with doubt and now,I'm marrying my dreams!"

http://www.quitporngetgirls.com

Be interesting. That's it. Have interesting hobbies, do and have interesting things, travel, workout, play instruments, read books, run, jump with parachute, fly with helicopter. Have stories to tell when you meet people. Listen to their stories and interests. Connect with them. Eveybody wants to hang with someone who listens to them and shows some interest in their life. Don't make the conversation only about you, but also about others. Get them to tell you things by telling them things from your life.

Yeah, for instance, read stuff that happened in my posts. To be honest I am burdened with too many Epic stories, so feel free to take some.

Love the question.

Just right down to it. Not trying to impress a bunch of guys on the internet, just plainly telling us: I need to grow in this regard. Sorta abhorrent how this doesn't happen to often.

Here's the thing. People are obsessed with effect. Who affects who and how much. You see very often, the people who are liked the most have a quality in common.

They affect allot of people (in any way) and make it look like it costs them very little effort to do so.
So let's start there. What way can you affect people?
Gazillions I'd imagine. Though some of them have the opposite effect of 'being liked'.

So here's how you do it. Figure out what it is that the people around you want.

Spoiler: Nearly everyone wants to like themselves.

Their ability to like themselves is usually strongly tied in with how likable they are to others.
And so your goal becomes clearer.

Become the person that when added to their lives, makes them more likable to others and by extension, themselves. (ha!)

Ideally, that would happen simply by knowing you.
People get more likable to others when they are liked by someone who can affect a lot of people with seemingly little effort. That'd mean you making it clear that you like another person (Your judgement, in this case, that you like them) is enough to get others to like you.

However, that judgement holds no weight when it's clear that you'll like just anyone.
And this is where things get fun and manipulative.
The way in which you give people your judgement (the 'I like you-judgement') tells them if that judgement is worth a damn. You could be a like-whore, just liking anyone who comes along cause nobody likes you enough for you to become picky in who you like.

What do I mean by this:
Start judging. Not telling you to be negative. Not telling you to say it, neither.
Judge by way of your face. When people talk to you, study them, frown during their stories, then top it off with a judgement. If it's a positive one... you can say it. If it's a negative one... keep it on your face.

It's the way women have been doing it for centuries.

Then when judging women in specific... be specific. Tell em you liked that they DID this 'thing' instead of just telling them they're beautiful.

I love the way you dress vs. I love your dress/you're beautiful.
(note, however, that there are very few men who can make a compliment about fashion believable)

The way you give em that compliment tells em how much your judgement means. For instance, when you look at someone appreciatively, but you also look a little surprised at your own appreciation of that someone... your judgement (nonverbal in this case) becomes that much more worthy.

The subconscious thought-process that goes through the other person is

"He likes the way I look, and he doesn't look like he likes willynilly, so his judgement is worth a damn. I've been judged well by someone who's judgement is worth a damn and is probably liked by enough people to be picky... that makes me like myself."

And that's how you get people to like you by making them like themselves cause they think that someone who is well-liked, likes them.

LIKELIKELIKELIKE

cheers mate.

Props on the honesty (compliment on something you did, not willynilly, making you like yourself by extension of being liked by me. KAPLAAAU)

in high school I couldn't think of anyone who didn't like me.
I was considerate to everyone's wants and needs.
One friend sucked at math, I was good at it. I helped him out with Geometry and Algebra.

Another friend always got the girls and everyone who talked to him mostly wanted something from him [advice on girls, him to hook them up with a girl, blah blah blah] and they never seemed to see him as a real person with real problems like everyone else. Me and him would tell jokes all the time. He'd tell me crazy stories about his life and I'd listen.

On the soccer team there was a kid who'd been playing since he was 4 and he sat the bench his freshmen and sophomore year and didn't think he'd ever play. Other kids on the team joked and laughed at him. I was new to soccer but learned really fast. He was a dick to me when we met. I was a worse player than him . He'd tell me I sucked and I should give up. I never gave up and was never mean to him either [despite him being a douche]. Everyday after practice I'd go out to a field to practice more and I'd always invite him. He was always a rude little bastard and he'd say something horribly mean and I'd invite him the next day anyway. Everyone on the team saw me do this and they all liked me and appreciated my kindness. Eventually he did come out and practice with me and I always told him he could get better and never once put the kid down. He eventually came around.

On the football team I sat the bench. I showed up to every single practice, never complained, and always worked my hardest to improve. I still sat the bench. By the end of the season all the players and my coaches said they liked that I had a lot of heart and determination.

On both teams I always brought a big thing of Gatoraid to the games and shared with all my team mates.

One girl in my Algebra class had a crush on my friend but was too shy to ask him out. I played match-maker for them. She seemed to like me a lot.

Occasionally I'd get into an argument and say something cruel to another student in school. I never once went home without first apologizing and making everything alright. Often times I heard "Man, it's cool." or "Wow, it takes a real man to apologize like that."

Basically all throughout high school everyone I ran into I cared about. We're all on this planet and we all want to be happy and live peaceful lives. I just looked out for my fellow man and woman.

Every friday and saturday night I was invited to a party.
After I graduated and ran into these people they sang my praises for me whenever they met my new friends. I've gotta tips about jobs. I've had people buy me beers. I've had people hook me up with girls. All I did was care. Even when people were assholes I was still nice to them and all the assholes said they appreciated that.

Once at a party, maybe 5 years after high school, with a bunch of people I knew from school and some I didn't know some guy picked a fight with me over a girl. He probably woulda whooped my ass. I decided to walk away. And as I started to walk away I saw a crowd of angry people staring him down. He got booted out of the party for fucking with the guy who was nice to everyone in school.


Genuinely caring about others goes a long way.

Also whatever hobbies and shit you enjoy don't be ashamed of them at all. I don't care if you sew, knit, collect comics, play video games, chess, etc.. If you enjoy it don't be ashamed. A lot of people have "guilty" pleasures they feel they're not 'sposed to enjoy for whatever reason [e.g. a man who likes to sew and make clothes that feels ashamed since it's stereotypically something women and gay men do. Or someone who likes chess and reading but is afraid people will think they're a nerd]. When they see someone else who openly and proudly enjoys life they tend to have more courage to do whatever the hell they wanna do themselves and they'll like you for that.

Knowing about funny jokes, youtube videos, tv shows, interesting movies, blah blah blah, helps too. e.g. You have a wide variety of musical tastes and are almost an expert and your listening to some really great, yet not well known, band/artist. You show it to a buddy of yours [or even someone you just met a few minutes ago] and say you think they might like it [key word is might/maybe etc.. Never say "You'll like this." Say something like "I think you'd like it." which implies you could be wrong, which you could be]. If they like it, AWESOME. If not, oh well [don't push too much more shit on them, this will irritate anyone really fast]. People like when you show them new shit they've never seen or heard or done. Even if they aren't into it [in which case don't press the issue].

Telling people they can when they think they can't. If someone is down about something and they don't believe in their self sometimes they just need someone else to believe in them. We've all been there. A deep pit of despair where things seem hopeless. It's wonderfully great when some just tells you that it's not and you can do it. Hell, my first race in track in field I was nervous and didn't think I could run a whole half mile [even though I'd ran further than that before]. My coach and my team mates told me it's nothing to me. They said I've run 3 miles runs in practice so half a mile ain't shit. My coach also said it's no big deal if I won and to just give it my all and do my best and I'll probably do fine.

Before the race the other runners were chatting with each other. 3 of the guys said they were nervous and worried about the race and I stood up tall and told them not to sweat it, it's just a half mile and I'm sure they'd do fine. Then I lied and said I was worried they might give me a run for my money and they laughed and joked.

During the race my team and coach cheered for me and that itself seemed to make me run a lot faster. Mind over body. I forgot my fatigue. Some people just need someone to tell them they can do something and they always appreciate the person who tells them.


Basically if you actively benefit other's lives they'll like you.
Maybe there's some drunk asshole at a party and he doesn't know anyone there so he's being a douche. Don't worry if no one else gives a shit about him, they wont hate you for having the courage to try and help him out [just don't take sides]. Figure out what the fucks wrong, assess the situation, find a solution [like calling a cab for the guy, calming him down, whatever] and people will appreciate that. It's also a DHV thing if your the one handling the drunk asshole.

Anyway, what are you good at?
What are your hobbies and interests?
What's something weird you do that most people don't?
What do you want to do in life?

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Being nice to everyone all the time for the sheer likeability factor fosters parasitism more than anything - it is not the same thing as breeding loyal allies who will stand by your side once the road darkens and the heat hits the kitchen.

Even the question you asked is coming from a needy, validation seeking perspective. Once you stop trying to make people like you, people will like you. The thing is some people will like you and others will not like you. And this can be scary. It sure is for me but I propel myself into leading a lifestyle I want to live, and having my own beliefs and opinions.

Don't try to adapt to certain people, if they don't like you, so what? Others will.

What you must make an effort into doing is changing your perspective and strengthening your inner self. If you want to be an "alpha male" then stop trying to be an alpha male. Start having fun and living life to its FULLEST. Snap out of your unconsciousness and begin to actually see the real world. See the world for what it is. See girls for who they are. WAKE UP by doing exactly those things that you want to do. Many people say they will do something but in the end don't do it. "I want to lose weight" as they eat another cookie. How retarded.

I myself have taken it upon myself to eat healthier now. Like REALLY healthy. No chocolates or chips or fried shit, processed shit. I'm a vegetarian so I have the willpower to do it. I want to wake up every morning feeling like "! Yeah! I have a purpose today! Tomorrow! And always!" Know what has to be done and do it. A lot of the stuff will be difficult, but imagine how AWESOME you will feel if you actually do those things.

Same goes for pickup, too. Stop worrying about being the alpha male and just do what needs to be done. Better yourself. Stop worrying about what other people might think of you. How do you do this? By giving yourself tasks, something you do for YOURSELF. You have to consciously know what these things are, so take you time to think them out and write them down. If you want to be badass with women, sit down, know what has to be done, and then just focus on DOING THOSE THINGS. You literally just follow protocol. Do do do. If you are doing things that have been tried and tested and make logical sense to you, then you can have faith in them and faith in yourself. DO THEM. You will feel badass when you accomplish these things day in and day out. And then the journey doesn't become about making people like you, but rather "How can I improve today?" Then you just do it. It has to be done, there's no other way around it.

+1 Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People

also Robert A Glover No More Mr Nice Guy