Hello My PUA Bro's in Crime,

Question.

When I'm going out with a HB on a 1 on 1 date, it's clear to me... I pay for everything.

But things get unclear in the few scenarios below.

Guy goes out with female friend and no romantic potential. Who pays?

Guy goes out with group with 2 guys and 2 girls. No romantic potential. Who pays?

Guy goes out in a huge group with multiple guys and multiple girls. Who pays?

Please let me know your take. The reason I ask is because there are so many girls out there who just assume that because they have a vagina, they get a free ride every ride... every scenario.


Respectfully,

M

Hey M,

first off i'd just like to say, i've been reading several of your posts, and i like your ideas, you seem well informed and have a knowledgable and creative way of interpretting the art of pick up that I am certainly fond of.

In respect to the few scenarios you specified, well, i'll go one by one telling you point of view.

Guy and female friend with no romantic potential is a subjective situation - it can depend on how close the two are? I mean, you could potentially cut this meeting up in to several categories, such as a collegue or simply a female friend. In any sense, if the girl has any manners about her, she won't let you pay for the whole meal, and atleast would suggest she paid half. This is how I would normally see the situation - So in that case, split the cost, or if you go out frequently and she may pay the next time?

Actually, instead of going through all of them, the simple answer in my mind is splitting, especially with the multiple group!..You're essentially right in saying that girls use the 'free ride'...but in general etiquette, I think we, unfortunately, get stung with the bill.

I doubt this was helpful at all but i hope you could claw something away from it!

libertine.

Hey, M

Good question. I can relate to your situation. I'm a "Friend Zoner" with a few girls. Anyway, when we go out we split it up. For example: I buy them a drink and next round they buy me one. Same goes for dinner or whatever the activity we split it up.

As far as 1 on 1 dates. Remember this: this is the 21st century and most women work and probably make just as much as you and I. Try not to go anywhere too fancy, you don't want them to get a false reading of you like you drive a Ferrari and your wallet is loaded with $100 bills (Maybe you do drive a Ferrari and maybe your wallet is loaded) but understand that your money is yours and it will be soon when those $100 bills go to $1 bills because you spent it all on the "money grubbing whore!" Also, when you spend too much on a woman she comes to expect it. I've made that mistake and it got me nowhere! Don't be afraid to tell a woman that you don't have the money, a lot of your money went to bills you have to pay. If she expects you not to pay your bills and spend the money on her, then she isn't worth the money, time and energy wasted.

I'll leave you with this pathetic situation:

My best friend still lives at home with his mom (30 yrs old) got engaged becuase he got money from a lawsuit for a car accident
(Spent it all on a ring). His girl works part time now because she is in nursing school (Pays all her bills). Now, the dude is looking for a job to make more money because he can't afford to live on his own. Why? Because he spends it all on a "Money Grubbing Whore."

My point: Make yourself happy with your own money.

Hey M,

When I'm out 1 on 1, I generally pay for it because I asked her out. Usually, like it was said before, if she has any manners she'll at least offer to pay her half. Besides I don't take them anywhere I can't afford and it's generally something rather inexpensive anyhow, e.g. Ice skating, minigolf, you get the idea.

Out with a friend where there's no potential, I pay for myself only unless she has no cash and offers to make it up to me.

In the 2 guys 2 girls, and large group situations you brought up, I pay for myself only. My take on it is why should I pay for someone just because she's got a vagina? If she agreed to meet up with a group of people, then she shouldn't expect a free ride. If she pitches a little fit or says some stupid bitchy remark to let you know that she was expecting you to pay...then call her on it, cocky funny remarks, and negs would work well here. Although I've never had a girl with enough of an attitude to bitch about having to pay her own way.

If you don't want to pay for the both of you I've found it's generally ok, I'll just walk up to...lets say the ice skating ticket place, and ask for one general admission. She'll get the picture and this way she can't take take you for granted. Hope this helps.

~Muse

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Thanks, Brothers,

I really appreciate the advice. I'll remember it the next time I hang out with a chick.

On the most part, if there's any romantic potential, I usually pay for the girl especially on the first dates. And if she's purely a friend, I try to avoid taking her out, but when I do, ideally I'd like her to offer every now and then.


Respectfully,

M

P.S. By the way, thanks for the kind words, Libertine. If I come up with useful tricks that are field tested, I'll be sure to keep sharing them with the group. The way I see it, we're all on the same boat, fighting the good fight.

I completely agree M...

the only weapon we have is what we learn in the field and what we learn from one another...fighting the same fight as you say!

let's keep it up, helping those in need and learning more.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!