I hope I posted this is in the right place but I'm in need of a vent to get this off my chest and perhaps some guidance.

After the initial breakup of my 2.5 year relationship with my ex (HB8) around 7 months ago, we were on a no contact basis, which slowly became limited contact as it became unavoidable (personal circumstances).
After the above was resolved we slipped back into no contact, which has lasted around 6-7 weeks until I get a drunk dial from my ex around 2:30am when I was at a house party.

The call was from a withheld number and the convo was quite brief:
(a week before her birthday)

Phone Call
Ex: "Hey it's (name), how are you?"
Me: "Hey I'm great thanks, you?" (I'd recognise her voice anywhere)
Ex: "I'm pretty good... what you up to?"
Me: "I'm with friend's at a house party" (being vague)
Ex: "Ah cool... I was wondering if you wanted to come over"
Me: *laughing* "And how much have 'you' had to drink tonight?"
Ex: "I've had a couple, but I'm sober"
Me: "So why do you want me to come over?"
Ex: "I miss you"
Me: "Oh... well I've been at it since 7pm (drinking), so I can't come over"
Ex: "Ok then, well I'll let you get back to the party"
Me: "Ok then, Cya"
*Didn't wait for her reply*

I was drinking but I wasn't actually drunk, but there still was no way I was getting in my car to go over her place, even though I could say a lay was almost certainly on the cards.

A few of my mates tried to convince me to go, but I stuck firm and said I wasn't going.
Shortly after I get a text (I now have the number she used) and this was the text convo.

Text
Ex: u comin' over then or not? x
Me: I can't I've had way too much to drink
Ex: Ah kk x
Me: I'll speak to you tomorrow (being friendly, but probably wasn't wise)
Ex: Nah don't bother!
Me: Ok then. (I stopped texting at this point)
*10 mins later*
Ex: So u not comin' over thn
Ex: ?

Again over a week of no contact (after her birthday night out) and she message me again trying to initiate contact - which I ignored.

I'm not sure if the work I've invested in my inner and outer game in an attempt to obtain a more attractive lifestyle is drawing her back to me *see below*.
I would want her body physically and the sex was great (FWB perhaps?) but I do not want my 'old' relationship back as that was a cocktail filled with jealousy of other women and lack of trust.

Where do you guys think I should take this?


*More about me*
I wouldn't change my new lifestyle for anything and I owe a lot of that to this site and its members and I've really tried to work on myself, now I'm getting invited to a certain club with a DJ where I get a little VIP SPAM, such as cutting the cue, free entry etc. so that can help me DHV in one of three clubs I normally go to.

I am dating other women and I am a lot happier in myself, although I still find approaching nerve wrecking sometimes, but I did not decide to get into PUA and game to go down the GFTOW route.

It depends what you want man? If you honestly feel like you need more time to work on your inner game I would tell her you need some time to be single and work on your self, and maybe in the future you two can talk but at the moment you just need to be single.

If you feel like you have your shit together? and you want to be with her then I would say talk to her about it, but be clear on what you need from her, and don't compromise your values!

I know people who have broken up for month or years at time and ended up back together, sometime you have loose something before you realize it value. Be careful though! most of the time there is a reason she is your ex and it should stay that way!

Sounds like good groundwork for a fuck buddy.

A cab ride would have gotten you laid for sure, but hey we all make choices right?

The "Ex" prefix for someone who was or used to be!
They are Ex's for a reason!

Re-open when horny.

For no other purpose.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

This is common and typical. Women/Men get REALLY emotional and horny when they drink, and they tend to make bad decisions as a result. The reason she called you was just because she wanted to fuck and you were the easiest choice of the men she had at her disposal. She probably went out to a party and got drunk, rejected some other pua (who then posts on this forum "Why didn't the girl at the party like me?") and then she goes home alone and realizes that if she wants to have fun in life she'll need a man in order to do it. Then she starts drunk texting...

Since you fully knew it was a booty call, the choice should've only been whether or not you want fuck her. I think your buddies were right. If you had no other pussy lined up that night, probably should've just gone and busted one off and then headed back home. Don't even bother sticking around for all that post-coital "I missed you so much baby" bullshit. The only thing there to worry about would be her trying to suck you back into the emotional roller coaster ride of your previous relationship, but that won't happen during a quick booty call.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Thank you for all your replies guys

There was principal behind why I turned down her offer as she one said I'd sleep with anyone given the chance - So I interpreted the scenario as her 'handing to me on a plate' and hopefully proved her wrong.

I'll see if the opportunity ever presents itself again and take it from there.
Failing that, I might even try opening her with the same offer on my own terms.

I know your buddies would high-five the hell out of you if you went, but it's really what you want/ what you can handle. I've been you and I've taken that cab ride. It's triumphant at first and then very quickly becomes an empty experience. All I think about when I'm putting my clothes back on is, "I wonder what else I could've been doing."

That said, I believe you handled it well.

_________________
"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

I see a couple things here I thought I'd bring up.

First, you apparently did not reject her invitation for yourself, but rather to prove a point to her???? What's the point of this. Either you are horny, she's offering and so you fuck her, or you are not horny and therefore don't do it, or you have better pussy in your lap, etc. I'm not a fan of encouraging you to base your decisions on what it will prove or not prove to an ex girlfriend.

What I will say kudos on is recognizing that the issue in the relationship was jealousy. Surely if you feel you are an improved guy, she's attracted to that, and likely would be even more jealous were you together. Thus, until she demonstrates she's better than that, she's FB material and nothing more.

Well partly that but I did have an option at the house party all be it wasn't a f close - But my main mindset was just having a laugh with my mates.
If I'm honest with myself at the time I didn't want the whole buyers remorse thing either.

It always should be your choice, as it is with keeping her as a FB ......or not. As long as you are in control.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Got to give it to you pal, Well done for turning her down.
Just goes to show how strong you were considering everyone else here would have taken her up on her offer.

Fuck it man, you're out with your pals having a great time at a party. I would have done the exact same thing as you man and would have never regretted it.
Buyers remorse...and once its been done there is no going back.

Be strong man, keep doing what you're doing and more girls will be texting you soon.