Long story short: I dated a chick for a couple of months and broke up with her because she was taking me for granted. After about 6 months of being apart, she messaged me and told me she'd like to meet me again. I told her OK and told her I would contact her the next week about where I'd like to meet her. She said yes.

The next week, she emails me and asks me if we can meet at a certain vicinity in the city because she just got invited by a guy friend of hers for his birthday party, which was happening in that area on the evening that we are supposed to meet.

Now if she was really interested in meeting me, she would have never asked me if I was willing to meet her there. She would have been willing to leave the B'day party early, in order to be with me wherever I asked her to come meet me.

I thought this was very manipulative and maybe a shit test, so I messaged her and told her to go to this dude's b'day party and contact me when she is not so tied up.

All I wanted to know was if I handled this situation well? Thanks guys.

You passed with flying colors.

Next step, find someone else to fill your now vacant evening with. And I wouldn't be too quick to respond to this chick next time she wants to get together. Sounds like she just used you to fill a boring night, and then when something better came along in her mind, she wanted to do that instead. Not the kind of woman I'd want to hang out with.

she just messaged me and said, "does this mean you don't like that part of town? "

this is another shit test, I already feel it. I will not respond to her till tomorrow. Any suggestions as to what I can say?


thanks guys.

That was awesome, thanks Tony. I will send it to her tomorrow. Just checked your website out. It is cool.

Update:

She met me at the place of my choice that evening, and she came over to my place after that and we had sex. The next day I had to work so I left early in the morning. She texted me in the afternoon saying she wanted to know if I did not just hook up with her for sex. I told her no and after work, I went over to her place.

She is a very beautiful girl but she loves to dress in a Gothic style. She showed me one picture of her where she had painted herself all black and the picture looked scary, and in the picture she looked like a monster. I told her that the picture was "fugly" and that she needed to look at herself in the mirror to see how beautiful she really was in real life, and she did not need any of that weird makeup. She told me she was not looking for anyone to change the way she was, and was upset. At night I asked her for sex and she refused and told me she would do it in the morning. In the morning she refused again.

Later that day she called me and said she did not want to date me anymore cause I was disrespectful to her and I reminded her of one of her verbally abusive ex.

I went to her house that evening to talk to her in person and also give her some flowers as an apology but she was sleeping, so I left the flowers at her door.

Today she emailed me and told me that she did not wish to talk to me again and not to ever contact me. She blocked me on Facebook after that, although I was not friends with her on Facebook.

Why block someone on FB that you are not even FB friends with?


Any thoughts?

Well, by saying "fugly" you probably were truthful with her, but in a an insensitive way.

Sounds to me like she has self esteem issues, and you are better off without her. But a key takeaway for you might be to think about how you deliver the truth to someone. Would you want someone to tell you your flaw makes you Fugly? Or would you rather hear it in a better way?

I don't think leaving flowers was a good idea after she got upset. It just conveys neediness and she takes it as a way to try to get into her pants again. What you should have done was to limit communication with her for a week or so to make her forget about most of what you did.

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