I went to HS with this girl 22 years ago but didn't know her or even remember her but we started talking. We meet for lunch and have seen each other, weekdays only, 3-4 times a week for a little over a month. We have talked about the future and the past. I know I've pushed too hard and she hasn't given an inch. She has 3 kids (18,14, and 7) which I have met the 7 year old. Even was invited to go on a school field trip. Divorced for 3 years and has dated guys since, even slept with them plus spent the night with me. She has been to my house twice and every time we see each other we kiss very deeply and hold hands and she is glued to me.

My problem is that I have not slept with her, rarely get time with her. I ask her to make plans and i get I will have to see what my kids are doing and my family (she lives with her parents due to financial issues from being divorced). I feel like I am being used, that she is waiting for something better to come along. The hard part is the mixed signals; she texts me as soon as she gets up and when I respond she then calls me, she'll call me all day long and at night wants to talk to me all night. I have asked her if we are "together" and I get maybe, I have joked that I should see other women or she should see other men and get that she doesn't believe in dating more then one person. I am very tattooed and she has even gone to my last session but when I talk about my next tattoo she tells me that she doesn't approve and has told me if I get another that she will not be happy and if we are married, I'll be sleeping in my man-cave room. I have 2 cats and thinks her 7 year old is allergic to cats and has asked me what I will do with them when (yes, I said when) we are living together/married. As I stated earlier, we don't go out except to lunch and it's usually a last minute thing (tried making plans), outwards it seems as if we are a couple, and her friends (a lot of mutual from HS) , relatives (not her parents or the 2 older kids) know about me. It has even go so far as her oldest is offered a scholarship to a school in the city/state I moved back from a few years ago and has asked me to go with them for a visit (It's in Louisiana and we live in New Mexico). I am very confused and would like y'all's opinions with this situation.

I've asked and I get "baby steps." Nothing has changed as of now, still a lot of maybe. I try to write her off but then she sucks me back in with "our" or about the future. I don't call her or text her anymore, she still initiates all contact but will not plan anything with me. It is just crazy for me, I don't have an issues meeting women or getting them into bed but this one just has me all confused.

Check out Mack's thread on this sort of thing mate.

signs-of-an-emotionally-manipulative-woman-vt87161.html

A great exchange of information.

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Dubli

She could be emotionally manipulative. That could explain why she is divorced. If you consider her more serious material, I'd be critically interested in her explanation of why she is divorced. Was it all his fault and she accepts no blame?

Could also be that her first marriage has made her smarter. People can pretend to be something they are not, or better than they are for a long time, but eventually, they go back to being who they are. Sounds like she's older, wiser, and possibly more guarded after a failed marriage. You have to remember, marriage is a big deal. It's what every woman wants, to marry the perfect guy, and have a happy family, and live happily ever after. When that fairy tale is shattered by divorce, I have to believe it's only natural for women to be less apt to rush right into committed relationships.

One more thing, I can attest for sure, if she is divorced and has kids, she probably really is busy as shit. Her kids will always trump you in priority, so get used to that. But you should remember for sure that when there is only 1 parent and kids are present, her life will be twice as busy as it was if she was married and had kids, and likely 4 times as busy as a single woman with no kids.

I agree with everything you said vhou812...she complains a lot about the crap he pulls on her. She won't even say his name (they were together 20 years but married 4 years). She showed me the latest picture of her oldest daughter and I commented that she really looks like her dad, all hell blew up and she wasn't happy with me. I explained that I didn't say she was ugly, she is very beautiful 18 yo but that didn't matter. I feel like she isn't over him (he cheated on her many times and is currently married to the last women he was cheating with).

Here is what I have decided...I am going to walk away while I can. I don't feel as if she sees me as a future. Since she doesn't let me know she has feelings, I pay for everything, I think I am being used to help her get through her past, and highly doubt I'll be her future so I am moving on! Might be crazy to say it and regret it but I have to be me and truthful to myself. Less pain now then the more pain later when she tells me what I already feel!

Sounds like a sound reason for a sound decision. If you let her go now and are truthful with the reasons, there is no reason why you two couldn't hook up again later if she reaches a point where she is completely over her past and her marriage. Make sure you are straight and honest with her about your decision. That gives her the best chance to admit if she still has issues and wants to get past them.

Good luck.