I'm currently talking to this girl who's in a supposed "committed" 3-4 year relationship which she claims to be pleased with. I disagree and think she's putting up a front, firstly she's hard pressed to get me to open up to her. As in share my emotions and have deep conversations with her over the phone. In the past 3 weeks, we've had several late night conversations, which I don't reveal much about myself. I like to remain a mystery and make the girl work for my emotional attention. On top of that, during halloween she was adamant about going out with me to parties on campus.

She got a bit drunk and her friend noticed how flirty/touchy she was with me. She's in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend and has mentioned before that it's getting difficult to stay faithful to him but she continually remarks how happy she is in the relationship on later occasions. She even has said things, "i'm making weddings plans" and shit of that sort. If she's pleased in her relationship then why is she flirting with me so much and making hints that she's interested in me. She's gone out of her way to impress me... she sent me pictures of herself without me asking. The IoI's are clearly evident but subtle enough to be called "friendly" gestures, I guess? I already believe most guys will comment on my situation saying things like, "try to fuck her and if she accepts it then it's nothing to worry about". I however have a guilty conscious about ruining people's mindset and relationship with themselves because I was fortunate enough to charm myself into her pants. On a more important note, if I allow her to cheat on her boyfriend with me what's stopping her from doing that to me if we got together?

I just want to know how do you lure a girl out of a relationship in a healthy way so that you can further pursue?

Also, this question slightly pertains to this situation but I have a very touchy and secretive background that I don't feel comfortable talking about because I feel it makes me vulnerable and creates a lot of negative emotions like, "awwww" moments and all that jazz. When people think of me, I want them to think only positive thoughts, not the time I told them that my dad made no attempt to raise me and that I come from a very poor and under privileged background and practically grew up off of government aid. When is it appropriate to reveal such information?... especially if she's asking about what's troubling me back at home and we've only been talking for about a month or 2. I usually just reflect or dodge those questions and try to smile it off. I don't gain satisfaction out of telling people my personal business. I'm a man and feel like I should keep my problems to myself. No one can really help me out of my situation other than myself so why even talk about it? I just want other people's opinions on how they feel about revealing personal information like that and if they do so, when did it feel okay to mention those things?

You nailed it. You can't. The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. If she cheats on him with you, I would not want to date her. That's for her to do in the first place. But for her to do so, she just needs to fall for you. It's beyond attraction. This is perfect information if you want her to fall for you. But there's a specific way to present it. You need to use this kind of tone: "My father was the only one to bring me up and my mom wasn't around so it was extremely difficult on my dad but especially me... I spent many nights wondering about my mom. But in the end it I have no regrets because it made me strong and the person I am today." In other words, communicate your deep feelings and your struggles, but your conclusion should be a good one. Notice this story is like the kind of bullshit you read in a fairy tale. Bitches love fairy tales.

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Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.