Hey guys, I'm currently in a relationship that I really like. But I've noticed my gf sometimes says stuff like "I'm fat" or gets a little paranoid if someone jokingly says something negative or hears somthing negative about her. I thought it was getting REALLY annoying, and she obviously has little self confidence, or value for herself.

So I decided I would do something about it. I basically gave her a whole speech, that I gave some other chick that I like to call my "self value speech". By the way the other girl who I gave the speech to, has COMPLETELY changed.

She has A LOT more self value now and to be honest (imo) is more attrcactive.Same goes for my current gf, she told me afterwards "wow. That really gave me a self confidence boost:)". So I'm thinking I did good

Anyway, I was wondering: what do others on the forum do to add value to their relationship?

The word "value" gets thrown around in here like its some kind of mystical thing you have to convey in order for a relationship to work.

In all honesty you should strive for value in life no matter what you situation...value if simply being the best you can be! don't do it for your gf, do it for your self!

If you have a shitty job and you hate it then go follow your passion and be great at it! I don't care if your current job pays 4 times what you might make if your follow your passion....its not about money, its about loving life, and being great at what you do!

If you out of shape then start working out, eat healthy and get in shape

If you have no social life then start making friends by getting out more and getting new hobbies

Value is simply having a fulfilling life, its freedom from the norm, its being the best you can be.

As for your gf making fun of your ignore it...if she irritates or crosses a linethen say something but if you are comfortable in your won skin then who cares?

my gf has told me "oh no your getting fat" but i laugh it off because i know its not true.

Dark one I think you missed the point. His girl called herself fat, not him.

Far as his post, I'd say it's possible that your speech to the other chick probably made you attractive, because you helped her learn how to love herself. It's hard to think someone is a catch or is something special if they do not believe it themselves. This is EXACTLY why inner game and the fake it till you make it advice here exists.

Women do not believe a guy is special or of high value if he does not believe it or appear to believe it himself.

I think there are lots of ways to bring value to a relationship. Essentially anything that you give or get from your partner that improves you or her or you as a couple is valuable. It all stems from communication. If you never communicate, there is little value you can provide one another.

haha yes yes I did! Must have skim threw this one quick! sorry guys!

Women will always be hard on them self...try to help her feel good about her self by working out with her, eating healthy ect ect. By telling her "Your not fat" you will do no good, it will go in one ear and out the other.

Help her feel good by changing her life style, give her real confidence! always try to not only better your self but better your girlfriend as well! grow together.

I completely agree with you dark one! You basically summarized my entire speech!! The one thing that bugs me is her negative comments about herself or her always appoligizing for small things. Basically I wanted her to value her for who she really is. Not for who people think she is. And it worked! A lot less negative comments, dumb appoligies, and that IDGAF attitude I love is starting to show.

Personally I have found that girls with more self value, imo are a lot more attractive. They can have AMAZING looks but a low self confidence really truns me off. And an "HB 7" with a lot of respect for herself, and self confidence, in my eyes is a 9. I don't know mabye its just me...