| Hey muh dudes,
I’ve recently received an e-mail from a guy, regarding approach anxiety, and ways to combat it.
Or at least decrease it to a certain degree. And even though there’s so many posts, and info on handling AA (the newbie mission for instance) dudes still seem to struggle.
So I thought I’d make another post ‘bout it.
So what is Approach anxiety?
You’re walking down the most eventful street in your town, just going about your day to day things, minding your own, than BANG!! You spot her.
HB, blonde in her late twenties, cute face, hour-glass figure, nice rack and stacked at the back, with legs that goes on for days, clothed in a business class attire, designer jacket and mini-skirt complemented by French leggings and heels. MOTHERFUCKER!! You’d swear you’re day-dreaming out loud but then you convince yourself that this isn’t a hallucination. SHIT’S REAL!! Game Time!! Right?
She goes and sits down at a table. You could stand there in the middle of the road and stare at this vision till she leaves or you could, stop being a fucking pussy and go approach. What’s the worst that could happen? She could maybe reject you? Either way nobody will know. But that’s it. What’s the best outcome? You can have coffee with the hottest girl you’ve seen in the past ten minutes, and if all goes smoothly, she could be doing the walk off shame tomorrow morning from your apartment. THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SEC!!
And just as you’re about to go for it, something from within paralyses your scrawny ass. You’re getting all sweaty, your heart starts beating like crazy, and you get that shit ass feeling in your stomach.
You get all fidgety, nervous. Suddenly you have the world of excuses, and your stupid brain rationalize it. Yep!! You’ve guess it; you’re being hit with a bad case of Approach Anxiety my dude.
But rests assure Spartans, it is treatable. I don’t think AA ever goes away completely; it’s more about directing that negative feeling to a positive one, Approach Excitement. Turning that “do not do it”-voice to a “Let’s fucking do this man” and getting amped up about approaching and opening.
Anyhow…
“So how do I treat that shit man?” you ask.
Easy.
By starting to be more social in your everyday life, at home, at work, school wherever, whenever, doesn’t matter dude. That’s it! No special formula that’s been held in a super-secret, secured, vault in Langley or LEGOLAND, guarded by the CIA or MI6’s finest. No just be more social.
One way to do this is, having conversations with everyone everywhere.
(The janitor, cashier at Mac Dee’s, etc.)
Doing this everyday will lower your AA levels significantly. You can also do it before going out to the club or whatever. Kind of like a warm up before the fight, but who knows that cashier can be a total bombshell, and shit may escalate further than just the store.
Another way to be more social is to always have positive body language, and make good eye contact
•Positive Body Language and Tone: Always be that happy go lucky person no matter what. People don’t want to be associated with negative people doesn’t matter how attractive you may be. Especially when you talk to somebody or somebody ask you how your day was, try to answer them in a positive tone. People will always remember you for being the one who made their day or for your energy. Remember one of the most important rules in the game are; SHE FEELS WHATEVER YOU’RE FEELING. So don’t let that feeling be a negative one.
•Good Eye Contact: Try to make eye contact with everybody.
If they give it back, reward them with a greeting. A simple “Hey” is good. Which you can back up with a remark about their attire or whatever to start of a conversation.
I promise you, if you incorporate these little minor adjustments to your everyday life it’ll help you heaps in your journey not to only become a great PUA and desensitize your AA but also, a better person in general. Often the only difference between being a loser and being “The Man” is, taking initiative, and having the needed confidence.
-D.P
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CHAT