lol yea, I had a look in there, some crazy shit going on, no doubt!
I honestly got that impression too. I think if I play my cards right, and things stay the same with her bf, I might be able to get in there. I'll see how the next couple of times that I see her on the bus goes. I'll take it as a good sign if she starts to say anything about her boyfriend in any type of a negative light. We'll see.
That's what I should have done, for sure. I have seen her around once or twice, so there's a chance I"ll run into her again at some point.
I was thinking of trying that on Friday, but there wasn't much around at the school and I wasn't there for too long. But I kind of like that idea for 'testing the waters' on going direct. That's sort of like a 'drive-by' direct approach. I think that would be good to try out.
That's pretty much what I eat too, three meals a day plus my PWO shake that I make myself. I'm in a bulking phase now, but I'll probably be starting my first ever cut in a month or two. I've been noticing I've been putting on some stomach fat, which isn't ideal, but sometimes I guess that comes with eating enough to be in a caloric surplus for gaining mass and for hypertrophy.

I've been trying to limit gains to no more than a pound a week on average, so that I don't gain too much fat. My plan is to try my first ever cut sometime around Dec or Jan and try to keep all/most of the size gains I've made and have abs for next spring and summer. Right now I'm eating 3600 cal/day, and I just recently upped it from 3300 where I stalled out on weight gains for 3 weeks in a row. I find it's sometimes a challenge to eat that much, but I always do, and sometimes get tired of that almost constant bloated feeling. I'm actually looking forward to the cut.

Right now, I train four days a week - mon, tues, thurs, fri. I train more as a 'bodybuilder' having my 'work sets' at 8 reps. I used to do a lot of 1 rep max lifts before, but probably more due to incorrect form, that seemed to bother my shoulder (for bench). I've only seriously got into squatting in the last four months, but my weight for that exercise is increasing rapidly compared to bench for example, which is an exercise that I've always put a lot of effort into. I've done lots of squats before, as I've worked out off and on since I was about 17, but it's never an exercise that I went as hard at compared to bench, biceps or even back. I do mostly all compound movements now. Bench, OH press, Bent over rows, squats, s/l deads, deads, and calves.

But yea, I go on that site bodybuilding dot com a lot, and I've read the same thing too that it doesn't really make a difference whether you eat three meals a day, or six, it's more about total caloric intake at the end of the day. But I know there are many different schools of thought when it comes to nutrition and I've just been reading and trying to take it all in. I know my training and diet will change in the future as I learn more and also discover what seems to work for me.

And I cook all my meals too, and rarely eat out. I've cleaned up my diet a lot in the last couple of years. I only eat at the school sometimes, and I go to this pita place that has grilled chicken in a pita with veggies, and they have the nutritional breakdown so I track it.

Friday

Well I approached 3 chicks today, but most were just very brief friendly-type of comments.

I wasn't there for very long, and there weren't too many people out and about, so not too much to report on today.

There was one girl waiting for the bus in the morning, so it was only me and her standing in line at the time. I felt it was more awkward to not say something, so I just made a few random comments and we talked about school for a minute or two. She wasn't good looking or anything.

The next one was when I was sitting on a bench, and there was a girl sitting on the bench next to me, but she was facing sideways so I could only see the side profile of her face. Even from that angle, she didn't look all that great, but it was hard to tell. She pulled out a pack of gum and started to chew a piece. The smell was really good, so I just asked her what it was. Well when she turned towards me to answer, she looked pretty beat, so I just made a comment or two about how her gum smelled really good and asked her what it was. I pretty much left it alone after that.

The third girl I talked to was another one that wasn't all that great looking, but we stood in the line up together for the bus on the way home. I've seen her on the bus a few times before, so I just made a little bit of small talk with her for a minute. That was about it.

And that was about it for the day. It was a fairly typical cold fall day, cloudy, cool and overcast, and it started to rain/drizzle a bit later on, so there weren't any people outside. It was quite a contrasting day compared to Thursday.

General Thoughts

I wanted to expand a little bit on a comment that I just made in Daniel Balboa's journal. I'll paraphrase, but it was something like "I sit back sometimes and laugh a little as I read my own journal. I sometimes think 'am I the same dude that used to go out and pick up chicks at bars and take them back to my place in one night?'.

It's just funny, because I do have a fairly high lay count (depending on what you call high), but at times I read my own stuff and think, man, I sound like some frustrated virgin! lol I guess the main difference between now and when I used to pick up more is that nowadays I'm approaching during the day, and for the most part, they're all cold approaches.

Even at bars 'back in the day', I would never walk up to a chick out of the blue and talk to her, I'd always wait for real obvious signs like repeated eye contact, and even then it would take awhile for me to make my way over to where she was dancing. I'd sometimes just sort of stand around the edges of the dance floor, and just look at chicks and basically I took what was easy in a way. I'd go for the chicks that gave me the easiest approach. Or, other times I'd be at the bar and just get introduced to a chick because she knew someone that I was with. Or I'd just talk to a chick that I'd seen around before or had seen at that bar a few times.

I guess the point is that, as far as the bar went, many of them were either introductions, warm approaches, or just me slowly making my way on the crowded dance floor over to her area and basically end up right beside each other, and I'd eventually blurt out a drunken 'hey' or something like that with a smile.

I also got a handful or two lays from a certain period when a buddy of mine and I hung out with a couple of younger crowds, and my basement sort of became a party spot for awhile. So in those cases it was all too easy. It was my place, I felt at home, and it was all introductions because of course I knew the people there.

And I guess if you do that sort of a scene for several years, then you can't help but rack up notches here and there and over time they'll accumulate.

And then I've had some regular 'girlfriends' that never lasted a long time, and most of those were through school, friends, or just hanging out in town. And even though I did drink a lot, alcohol wasn't always involved in every single meet up, but anything to do with the bar, then yea, I was always drinking.

But the big difference is that in my entire life, I had never really done any cold approaches like I do at the school now. I think when I was 20 or 21 I tried for a few chicks that worked at the local coffee shop by walking in with my phone number written down on a piece of paper, then sheepishly dropping in in front of them and said call me sometime when I got my change. I think out of all the times I did that, I got one call back!

But yeah, and funny enough, my buddy that has over 100 lays is very similar to me in that regard too. He has tons of lays from the bars, social circle, and even online game, but if you met him and put him at the school and told him to go cold approach, you'd think the guy might have hardly been laid, because he'd be a fish out of water.

I say all this not because I feel the need to 'justify' myself or explain how or why I've racked up a kind of high lay count like I've alluded to a few times, but rather it just got me thinking of how things seem so different now as I read through my journal and think about how things were in the past. I guess the game has changed, I don't drink anymore, I don't have a big social circle like I used to, and I'm doing 'game' in a completely different and alien environment than I have ever done in the past. And , not to mention, I'm much, much older than any of the girls that I'm going for, and even though I look young, the 'age thing' is always in the back of my mind.

But nevertheless, like I've mentioned before, as 'lame' as I may seem now with my game at school, I'm still a lot better than I was a year ago at this time when I squeaked out my first opinion opener to a blonde chick sitting on one of the benches. I still have lots of work to do, but I need to keep things in perspective and realize that long term change doesn't happen overnight, but rather it will generally come in slow gradual steps as long as I continue to apply myself and make sure that I keep pushing myself forward, as well as analysing my success and mistakes along the way and constantly striving for improvement. Now sometimes due to a certain event or an 'aha' moment you can make leaps in your progress, but the point is that I have to be patient and can't expect a radical transformation overnight.

Well, that's about all I'll say for now. And like I said before, next week is only a two day week at the school, so I'll try to make something happen!

I was training in muay thai, but all the cardio and endurance training got me on the skinny side, so for the last several months I've modified my diet and been training very hard lifting weights. I've made some excellent gains in the gym, and have a pretty good body now. By most people's standards, I'd be considered a good looking guy.

_________________
rohai hans

I’m a couple of days behind here ….

Saturday

Well I don’t usually have weekend updates, but I did manage to get something set up through online game. This cute 22 yr old chick messaged me, and small world, she ended up going to my school! Well anyways, we were supposed to meet up today (Tuesday) on campus just to talk for a bit or chill or whatever, but she texts me a few hours before we were supposed to meet saying that she forgot about an appointment. I know that seems like a typical flake excuse, but she seems legit, as she apologized a lot and wants to reschedule for this Thursday. So as of now it’s set for Thursday, but I have to get back to her with the specifics of time and what we’re doing etc.

Monday

I didn’t end up going into the school today. I was kind of tired when I woke up, so I basically intentionally slept in. I also had other work and stuff to do, so it wasn’t a big deal that I didn’t make it into class.

I also decided that I was going to change my diet and start my cut, as I was looking through a thread on the bodybuilding site I look at and saw a dude post up pics of himself saying he was starting his cut. It just made me realize that I shouldn’t let myself put any more fat on my stomach, and I should cut now too. So Monday was my first day, and damn did I notice a difference in the gym! My strength seemed ok, but just my endurance was way off. I seemed to get tired much easier due to the lack of carbs. I’m cutting back from my bulk of 3600 cal/day to 2400 cal/day, and for now aiming to keep my carbs at or below 200g.

It’s funny how I was ‘bitching’ just a day or two ago about that bloated feeling I was getting tired of from bulking for so long, but now I’m feeling the hunger a bit and the lack of energy in the gym. I feel like the dude that bitches about the summer being so hot and humid, then having it turn to winter overnight and then saying that the heat wasn’t so bad after all and wishing for warm weather again! Lol Anyways, I’m looking forward to getting leaner regardless.

Tuesday

Well I went in today thinking that I was going to be meeting online girl later in the afternoon. Well she told me she couldn’t make it just in time for me to catch the same bus that I caught last Tuesday where I saw a chick I hadn’t seen since the summer. Well she wasn’t there, but school T-Shirt girl was in the lineup.

I passed by her earlier in the day, and she was talking to some dude on the bench. So I just walked by, made eye contact with her, smiled and said hi but kept walking. She always lights up with a huge grin, keeps eye contact with me whenever she sees me, but I looked away first because I kept on walking. I almost think I may have offended her by not stopping to talk.

Well I got on the bus last, and I saw where she sat, but for whatever reason I didn’t feel like sitting with her, so I took a seat close to her. I just pretended not to see her, but when I sat down I got something out of my bag, looked over, and said hi to her. I could tell she looked a bit put off that I didn’t say hi or sit with her, because for the first time ever she gave me only a quick look, a smile and a hi but looked away pretty quickly. I have to assume she was ‘mad’ that I didn’t sit with her, because the last two times we’ve been on the bus, she’s sat with me. I guess I need to be more aware of stuff like that, because I do tend to do things like that sometimes without really thinking much of it, but I guess it can come across as rude.

Well anyways, on the ride home I thought to myself that I should say something to her when we got off the bus, and try for a bit of a ‘hail mary’ type of thing. I want to find out if something is going to happen here or not, and I’d rather not have this drag on for weeks on end. My ideas was that I was going to wait for her as she got off the bus, walk with her towards our cars, give her a hug bye, tell her she should text me to say hi, and say that maybe we could go out and do something over our break. Since I got her number, the only texts we’ve sent back and forth was the night before the exam, and I just sent her a text saying how’s the studying going and good luck and we went back and forth briefly. But since then, we don’t text each other, we’ve just talked whenever we see each other on the bus.

My thinking was that I’ll sort of leave the ball in her court, and tell her to text me to say hi, and then see if she does, because that would be a fairly good sign after mentioning we should go out. I figured since I said it like that, if she just texted me to say hi, it would be a good sign, and I’d go ahead and try to make plans. For anyone reading that’s not aware, this is the chick that has a boyfriend of 3 years, and I’ve talked to her briefly on the bus a few times now. If there wasn’t a guy in the picture, I would have been texting her more from the start, and asked her out by now. But since she has a bf, I’ve just been trying to play it cool, see how things go, and try not to push it too much since I’ve only talked to her a few times now and I wanted to see how things play out.

Anyways, I hate to say it boys, but I kinda choked! Lol fuck. We got off the bus, I waited until she got off, and when she saw me waiting she was all smiles again. So we walked towards our cars and made random small talk. But when we went to part ways, it just didn’t happen like I thought. I sort of choked, but also I realized I passed my car, and we were almost at hers, so I only managed to say something like ‘hey, well send me a text to say hi or something’ as I said see you later. It wasn’t a complete loss I thought, because at least I gave her the ‘invite’ to talk to me, and it would be a fairly positive sign for her to take the initiative to message me.

Well I went straight to the gym once I got to my car, and after the gym, to my surprise, I already had a text from her just mentioning to me that something was posted about school. I would have found out myself, so she didn’t have to text me, so I take that as a pretty good sign. We went back and forth, and as I write this I’m waiting to hear back from her now from the last thing I wrote. A bit of time has actually passed, but she should still get back to me. So my plan is to just ask her if she wants to go out through text. I would have rather done it in person, but hey, it beats not saying anything at all I guess. And if I don’t say anything now, then I won’t see her for more than a week because our school is on a little break for a few days. Oh well, asking her if she wants to go out over text isn’t the end of the world.

But yea, perhaps the way it worked out by just saying text me to say hi was just as good, because this way I got to see if she actually would, then that way it does show at least a little interest on her part. Well, she only waited about an hour and she texted me, albeit something school related. So now I’ll just have to see if she’s into hanging out with me. A lot will depend on the situation with her bf, and how much, if anything, she’s prepared to do behind his back. We’ll see…

And that was it for the week. There are no more classes until next Monday. I hope to have a few updates before then, as I’m supposed to go out with online girl on Thursday, and maybe if things go well I’ll even end up going out with T-shirt girl too. But like I said, as I sit here writing this I’m waiting for her to text me back, then I’ll ask her if she’s into hanging out with me.

I like how you keep your journal well thought out like Daniel B's. Anyway, how does online dating work for you? I have never used it, but have friends who have had some good success with it. I would also like your take on how important you think an opener truly is. Do you think the opener is as important as people make it out to be or is it more on how you transition following the opener?

I just look at online dating as another method to meet chicks. Overall, I think it's ok, and I did actually get a few lays over the summer that came from it, so I can't say it's all bad.

But to be honest, I haven't had what I'd call great success with it overall, and my best luck with it has been with chicks that have messaged me first. I used to have a pretty blank profile, and I'd send a half ass message to tons of chicks and sit back and see if I got any takers. But since then I've put up much better pics and took some time and wrote out a pretty good profile, and now I just sit back and see what messages I get. Like I said, it's not something I put much time or effort into nowadays, but I'll log on every few days and see if I get any messages from any chicks that meet my standards, at least as far as looks go.

But why not give it a try, at the very least it's just another avenue where you can possibly meet chicks from. If I got good enough at my daygame where I had more than enough chicks then online game would be the first to go, but at least for me right now, that's not the case. I actually just went out with a cute 22 yr old chick last night that was from POF, so I can't say anything bad about it.

And as far as the opener goes, do you mean online messages, or just opening a girl in general?

Well as far as opening a girl at school, or anywhere in 'real life' as opposed to online, I honestly don't think the opener matters too much. I mean if you say something ridiculous or really fucked up, then yea, it matters. But I really think that for the most part, if you come across as a normal dude, then what you say isn't really extremely important. In general, I think a girl is going to like you or she isn't, and usually most chicks will probably decide if she's into you within the first 10 to 30 seconds of talking to you, give or take.

I haven't asked them yet, but I still keep in touch with one or two chicks that I met and approached months back, and I'd bet you almost anything if I asked them what was the first thing that I said to you when I approached you, I doubt they'd remember. And that's because what I said was just something 'normal' or situational. Now if I did something really oddball, random or fucked up, then there's a good chance they'd remember that. And that wouldn’t be a good thing, because I probably wouldn’t be talking to them after that. They might remember if you opened with a simple direct compliment opener like you have used, and that wouldn't be a bad thing. But the point is that I just don't think the opener will make or break you as long as what you say is 'normal' and socially acceptable.

In some cases, however rare, you can turn a chick around and get her interested, and that might be because of your 'charm' or some other thing about you that she personally finds fascinating or attractive, but I think that for the most part, it's just a fact that some girls will be into you, and some won't, and there's not usually much you can do to make them change.

I’ve actually had a time where I started off in some minor argument with a chick, and through talking, and getting kind of playful, she ended up liking me and we got along. But my guess would be that she liked me and/or the way I looked from the start, and once we cleared up our little ‘misunderstanding’ or whatever it was, then things were all good. But even in a case like that, I believe that the initial attraction was already there, even though we started off on the wrong foot.

Take yourself for example. If a chick comes up and approaches you, and you feel that she's just not your type, then there's probably not much she can do to make you change your mind, even if she turns out to be really cool, or you 'vibe' with her really well. If that initial attraction just isn't there for whatever reason, then you may like her as a friend, but you probably won't end up changing your mind and thinking of her for more than that. Some may disagree, but I think that 9 times out of 10 or more that if you’re not into a chick when you first meet her, then you won’t end up being attracted to her no matter how good her opener or transitioning skills were. You’re just not into her, period.

I do realize that males and females will often be different in the selection process, but I think that there are so many other girls out there that it's just best to move on and not try to waste your time and energy trying to 'turn her around' if it seems that she's just not into you. It's just a fact of life, some chicks are just naturally attractive to you, while others aren't, and to a great extent, I think females are that way too.

And as far as the transitioning goes, again, if you're a normal dude and you can hold a regular conversation and have a certain amount of social intelligence that you aren't doing or saying really fucked up things, then I don't think there's too much you can do. Sure you can 'refine' your conversation skills a bit, and work on being more comfortable in your own skin, and in doing that make her comfortable too, but I think if she likes you, then she likes you, and if she doesn't, then she doesn't.

Now I don't mean that whatever you say doesn't matter, because you can surely get better at conversation and at seducing women, and in doing that making things go easier, smoother, and quicker to get her turned on. But I don't think you'll ever have consistent success in making a girl like you that starts off with no attraction towards you. I hope what I'm saying makes sense and I'm explaining it in a way that you know what I'm saying.

I might as well add that there might be a few dudes out there that have some exceptional ‘ability’ or some sort of ‘charm’ that can turn girls around, but I think it is safe to say that guys like that would be the extreme exception rather than the rule.

And just to repeat, I'm not saying that none of what you say matters, but assuming you just come across as a 'normal' dude, and you say and do 'normal' things from the time you open until the time you’re ready to ask her out or get her number, then I think that barring you doing anything that turns her off she'll either be into you, or she won't.

Despite what I've read many people say, I really do think that looks and the way you carry yourself matter a lot, because after all, that's what she sees and hears in those important first moments where she's making that initial impression of you. And it's during that precious and short timeframe where she's making that conscious/subconscious decision whether you're a guy she'd see as a potential bf/lay or not.

And that’s why, for me personally, I really try to come across as calm, cool, confident and smooth as I can when I first speak to her and open with my first sentence or two. I’ve found if I start off really well being calm, confident and smooth, then the rest of it will generally go well. But the few times that for whatever reason I start off a bit shaky, I’ve found it harder to turn it around and ‘regain’ my composure, so to speak. Now it may sound like I just said that the opener is important because it’s the first thing she hears during that time she’s making an initial impression, but it’s one of those things where it’s not necessarily what you say, but how you say it that makes the difference.

That’s also why I feel that putting the best version of yourself out there is so critical. And that means the whole package: looks, hair, body, grooming, hygiene, clothes, etc, etc. Having all that going for you just puts you a few steps ahead of where you might otherwise be if you don’t put as much effort into those areas. And especially when you’re still trying to improve, you want all the help that you can get. Why make the game even harder than it has to be? Work on yourself.

Anyways man, that's my long-winded answer to that. I think the best that you can do, is put the best version of yourself out there that you can, and objectively analyze your own game and try to pick up on weak points and make adjustments as necessary. And with some experience, you will find what seems to work for you, what just feels right to you, and you'll find what doesn't seem to work, and you’ll shit-can those ideas. And if you talk to enough girls, you will get the results that you're after.

I’m sure many people might disagree with what I said there, but that’s just me and my own personal view about it.

Wednesday

The day could have been total shit, because for an hour or two I lost my phone! I went up to Home Depot because I needed to get some wood and a few other things, and I guess I left my iPhone there. Once I got home I retraced my steps trying to remember where I last had it, so I phoned up to the store and got a guy to check out an area where I had it. Thank fuck he found it! In that short time I just realized how much I rely on the phone, and many of the phone numbers and stuff I have on there I have no backup for. Anyways, I was really glad I got it back.

School T-shirt girl

Well it turned out that she never got the text that I sent her on Tuesday, so I ended up talking to her later in the evening, and we went back and forth a bit. At the end of the text conversation, I told her I had to go and then I asked her if she wanted to go out. Things look to be good, but I didn’t set a specific date because she’s sick now, but I asked her if she wanted to come out with me to do something ‘fun’, and I gave a few ideas. She replied saying sounds good, with a few exclamation points and a smilie, so we’ll see how that plays out.

I asked her to come out and do something 'fun' so to her the invite sounded innocent enough, rather than me saying, wanna come over and watch a movie? I did that so that she may feel that she's just going out as 'friends' and if something happens, it will seem to her like it just happened and wasn't planned, and that may make her less apprehensive or reduce any 'guilt' etc that she may feel. That may not even be necessary, as she might very well be 'good to go', but I just chose to word it that way just in case.

I'd like to take her out, do something sort of 'fun' and friendly and then depending on how things go, either the first time or the next I'll suggest stopping in at my place for some reason, and then see how it goes.

Thursday – date with online girl

We agreed to meet at 7pm. Well she doesn’t drive, and she lives right in the city, so for our first meet up I agreed to meet her downtown at a Subway stop, and our plan was to go to this small bar/pub for a drink and something to eat. I knew I had zero logistics for this one, as I live quite far from downtown (over 45 mins). To get there I had to drive to a mall, hop on the subway for a bit and meet her in the downtown area. So I had no wheels when we met up. We met at a subway stop, then we walked to the pub from there. We sat and talked for awhile, shared an appetizer, then went to a ‘Chapters’ book store for something warm to drink and walked around the book store for a bit.

Going into it, I knew it was only going to be a low-key casual early night, because she had to get up early Friday morning, so I had no expectations of very much going on. Overall, it went well, and we kissed goodbye as we got on a different subway on our way home a bit after 10pm.

She seems like she’s also quite conservative, as she doesn’t really drink, doesn’t go to clubs, doesn’t party, and seems like she’s fairly reserved and kind of the intellectual type, in a way. She’s also 22 and lives with her fairly strict Eastern European mother, so getting her back to my place so far away may take a bit of time. She’s pretty cute, fairly tall, close to 5’7, dark brown/black hair with a slight wave part way down her back, quite slim/fit with a quite firm-looking b to c cup. If I had to pick out a flaw, it would be she had a slight bit of acne on her cheek, but nothing too extreme or anything.

I didn’t get a super clear answer on what she’s looking for, as she was saying something like she really wants to get to know the person well before getting into a relationship, but also she says that she just wants to date and see how it goes. Well, I’m pretty sure I’ll end up seeing her again, so we’ll see what happens.

I agree with almost every word of every sentence.

I always view things in terms of return on effort. Working on yourself has much higher returns than working on "building attraction." Even if you can "turn chick" and "create attraction" the chances of it happening are so low that you might as well concentrate on everything else first.

Here's a little exercise anyone can do in their free time. It was a real eye-opener for me. Take a few hours and cruise the web and read a bunch of "LR/FRs." You will find a lot of trends if you read carefully: Most "fast lays" the guy will describe a girl who was alone or with 1-2 female friends and responded almost immediately to hard, aggressive moves. Most day game successes occur on lone chicks who were immediately receptive. Most of the time a guy talks about plowing or trying to work through "large group obstacles" he doesn't get the girl. See the pattern?

Let me be a little more specific, regardless of the situation, most accounts of a successful seduction will say something like "I opened her and she hooked hard/hook instantly/it was on right away/she opened right up." This tells me that in nearly all cases where you actually bang a chick, she was into you from the very first moment and the environment and circumstances under which you approached (low friends, low social pressure, low scrutiny from on lookers, etc...) were conducive to her being able to show that attraction towards you. This is why, in addition to working on yourself, strategic approaching is a much better option than "The Three Second Rule." Wait for a more opportune moment and then go hard in the paint.

I also agree, as you've stated, there are ways to be better at small talk and conversation skills can be improved and you can always come across better, but in my opinion, that is all universal social skills, and not specific to "game." In my mind, there are only three things that separate your interactions with a chick from anyone else and that is progressing things sexually, emotionally, and logistically. The Triple Escalation as I've called it in my journal. That's game. Working on your social skills is important, but it falls under that umbrella "working on yourself" as its incredibly beneficial in many areas of life and it will pay great dividends with not only chicks but everyone you talk to.

keep me updated especially of any successes. ive been doing college game for a while but often dont approach after hours of walking around kinda due to fear and lack of good looking targets

_________________
Just trying to meet a 10.

Hey man, thanks for the comments. Yeah, we're definitely on the same page here, no doubt. I actually remember reading awhile ago somewhere near the beginning of your journal if I'm not mistaken you wrote about attraction game and how you didn't really believe in it. So yeah, I kind of thought you would probably agree with most of what I wrote there the other day.

But that's exactly right too, most of the successful pickups you read about all start like you were saying ('she hooked right away' etc.). More often than not, it's because she was into you right from the start. And for sure, strategic approaching, I like the sound of that! . And working on yourself has to be the best thing that you can do for yourself, even if you're not even into pickup because it'll benefit you in every area of your life, for sure. Totally agree.

Hey, well I usually update my journal most days, and I mention both the good and the bad!

But thanks for the comments and for following along.

Monday

Not much to report on today.

I went in to school, and after class ‘conservative girl’ hung around me for awhile, so obviously I couldn’t do much as far as approaching goes. After she took off, I had lunch, then not too long after that I caught the bus out of there.

General Thoughts – on girls with boyfriends

‘School T-shirt girl’ got me thinking a bit about this. I’m pretty much writing her off, as it seems she went away somewhere for the weekend with her boyfriend, and things seem to be all good with them now, whereas it seemed they were in a bit of a rough period a week or two ago. Oh well, at least I tried, but on the other hand, I sort of even regret now asking her if she wanted to go out to do ‘something fun’.

I think I should change the way that I approach situations where I’ve met a girl and she ends up having a boyfriend. I’ve heard/read before that some say don’t ask if they have a bf, because if she wants you to know, then she’ll tell you.

But I’ve found that with chicks, particularly younger chicks, that even though they have a bf, many of them still like to flirt with guys because they like the attention, or that’s the way they are, or it does something for their ego to know that there are other guys that want them. Now that’s not to say that some won’t cheat, but at least for me, it seems that I can and have in the past, wasted too much time, energy, emotion and effort on dead end situations where chicks have bfs and are fairly committed to them. If you don’t get the information and ask, then at least for me, it can be all too easy to get my hopes up or simply just waste time with a girl where there’s not much chance of something going on. I need to find this stuff out earlier, and just next a girl that has a boyfriend and is happy with him.

Instead, this is how I think I’m going to play it from now on: I’ll take some of my own advice that I gave smooth operator in his journal. Show your intent. And for me, this will mean asking a chick if she has a boyfriend fairly early on after I first meet her. In this way, I’m forcing her to ‘show her hand’, so to speak. Then if she does have a boyfriend, then I’ll casually gather a little bit of information such as how long they’ve been going out for and is she happy with him. This way I can find out right away without any doubt whether I should move it forward, or just move on. Fuck wasting my precious time.

And if she doesn’t have a boyfriend, then great, I can proceed normally. But at least if I do find out that she does have a boyfriend and she’s happy, then I can pretty much move on and not waste any more time. At least for me, I find it much easier to ask that question early on when I first meet a girl, instead of asking about it later on and having it sometimes be a little awkward.

And when I say ‘later on’, I’m pretty much referring to girls that I meet in class, or on the bus, and those are situations where I’ll end up seeing them once a week or so. If you only see someone once a week, and for example its just for a short walk out of the building after class, then it’s really easy for a whole month to pass and you’ve barely gotten to know her, and you’re still wondering if something could go on. And since I know I’ll see them again the next week, I sometimes feel that it’s not necessary to push things too much the first time that I see them, because I think ‘why rush’, and I don’t want to make things awkward in class. Perhaps I ‘worry’ too much about shit that I shouldn’t care about. I’m just ‘thinking out loud’ here. Part of it comes back to me sometimes playing it too safe, I just need to show my intent more and earlier. Why wait.

I wish I had of done that with T-shirt girl. Because I’ll be honest, after me asking her out and now knowing that she’s back with her bf, it might even be a little awkward the next time I see her on the bus. And I also hate the fact that I’ve been ‘rejected’ in some way, although kind of indirectly. If I had of asked her all that stuff right from day one, then it wouldn’t be awkward for me at all. But this way, I only saw her once a week, and three or four weeks had passed from the first time that I met her until it came to the point that I asked her out. So now I don’t even really feel like seeing her, and may even make a point of taking a later/earlier bus just to avoid her for a bit. We’ll see.

I should have asked her if she had a bf that day that she stopped me as we got off the bus and asked me if I had facebook. That’s when I got her number, but that would have been a perfect time to lay the cards on the table and find out what’s what. Instead, two weeks of brief conversations took place since then, and the whole time I sort of had my hopes up that something might go on with her. Then when I did finally ask her, I did feel a tiny bit awkward about it, and it was probably a week after that when I got the idea that things were kind of rough between her and her bf and I might have had a shot. So I asked her out, but I coulda/shoulda done that two weeks earlier, because after all, she was the one that asked me for facebook, then I should have just came out with it right then. Oh well, live and learn I guess.

And I think doing things this way will also help me much more in showing my intent, and also getting used to being a bit more direct, and a bit more forward. I sometimes play it a bit too laid back and casual for my own good. Anyways, that’s about all that I’ll say for now. Tomorrow is another day, I’ll try to make something happen!

Fuck that bro. Don't alter your schedule to avoid some potential awkwardness. Honestly, who gives a shit? Hot girls with boyfriends deal with this sort of situation all the time. This is where being proud of your desires separates you from the guy who is ashamed or feels lousy about "being rejected." Its not a big deal and she likely doesn't think so either. If you hold the frame that you did nothing wrong then it won't come across as creepy or awkward. I turn that sort of thing into a playful flirt all the time. "This boyfriend of yours is really starting to get in the way of me sweeping you off your feet. I'm gonna really have to step my game up." Now don't do that every time you see her but just throwing it out there once is a good way to just ease the situation. And then you can just go about being normal with the chick.
This is the same basic thing you say every day. To an extent, this is a great outlook. When something bad happens, write it off and move on, especially if its something out of your control. But I get the sense that you basically use the possibility of what may come tomorrow as a way to justify not doing what you should have done today. Someday there will be no tomorrow.

Yeah I hear you, fair point. I don’t mean to make it seem like I want to hide away from her because it might be a bit awkward. I asked her out in a very casual way to do something fun, and I did it that way just for the chance that something like this might happen. So it’s not like it’s really a big deal, but even still, I do hear what you’re saying, for sure.

But for me, it’s more like I sometimes don’t even want to put on a happy face and pretend like I give a fuck to talk to her now. I know this might sound harsh, but to me, she’s basically useless now. I don’t want to be one of her many guy ‘friends’ that just hang around her because they want to fuck her. And I’m not going to get set up with any chick friends of hers, nor will I be going to any house parties that her or her 20 yr old friends might be having. And having her hang around me really only gets in my way because as long as she’s around, I’m not able to pursue anything else. So I know it sounds cold, but she’s useless to me for the most part, and I barely feel like talking to her now so that’s why I kind of felt like avoiding her in a way. But some of what I said was sort of ‘heat of the moment’ things as I was venting in my post while talking about my day. But point taken.

But I do agree totally in that when I do see her, I’ll just play it cool and pretend like everything is normal and keep my frame. Because if I act butthurt or pissed off, then it’ll be obvious that I’m all put out and have been affected and that’s not really the case. So yea, I agree with what you’re saying. But for all I know right now, she may still be into me. All that I know is that things are better with her boyfriend. But yea, bottom line is that I’ll see her now and then and ride the bus with her, and probably talk to her a bit on the bus ride into school, and that’s about it.
Again, fair point, and there’s probably some truth to that too. I do say the same thing a lot, but I also try to just end my entry on a positive-sounding note. I hate to have my journal full of doom and gloom, so when I do have a bit of a rant, or bad day, I like to try to at least end it off with a bit of optimism.

But at the same time, there is some truth in me sometimes not doing what I should today because I think tomorrow will bring something better, or I’ll put things off and tell myself that I’ll step shit up at a later date.

But I’ll tell you, that last sentence really did resonate with me. Someday there will be no tomorrow.. That is so true, and that really made me sit back and think about a lot of things today.

Especially being a bit of an older dude, I know my time is limited as much as I try to fight it as hard as I can. I know that one day, maybe soon, I’ll leave that school and won’t return again. And one day, maybe soon, I’ll be ‘too old’ to be able to pick up the types of girls that I’m attracted to, and each day that I don’t act, is one more day that I waste. And I’m getting too old to not be taking action now. I dunno man, like I said, that really sort of hit me, and that’s something I should print out in size 200 font and paste it on my doorway so that I read it each day as I leave the house.

And sometimes when I’m feeling pessimistic, like today, I think maybe my time has already passed for this shit. Perhaps I’m some delusional fuck walking around that school doing the shit that I should have done a decade and a half or more ago. Yet there I am now, a day late and a dollar short, and I'm finally getting the mindset that I should have had so many years ago. I consider myself a fairly smart dude, but perhaps for some things I’m a slow learner, as I should have learned and mastered shit like this a long time ago. It’s kind of sad in a way that I’m my age and just finally ‘getting it’. Man, sometimes I think if I could have somehow discovered a site like this when I was a teenager how different my life might have been. But that’s like crying over spilt milk. But, to try to be a little optimistic, I also often say ‘well, better late than never’.

And to top it off, I had quite a shit day today as you’ll read about next.. lol.

Tuesday

Not a good day overall today. I approached a chick on the bench, but found out she had a boyfriend. I talked to ‘online girl’, and that’s done as she wants a relationship only and felt we didn’t have enough chemistry. I talked to another girl that I approached last year and gave my number to, but she never called. Basically, the word of the day is rejection.

Girl in the lunch lineup

This is hardly worth mentioning, but this Asian chick bumped into me in the lineup while we were ordering our food. We talked a bit back and forth, and I made a joke about how she bumped into me and we had a little laugh. A moment later my stuff was ready and I went and paid for it. Not much there.

Girl on the bench

There really wasn’t anything wrong with this interaction, and I actually did well because I did what I said I was going to do yesterday by asking a chick that I talk to if she has a boyfriend.

Well I sat down on a bench, and this blonde chick was beside me. She was decent looking, but nothing exceptional. I wasn’t even going to bother talking to her at first, so I just got out my book and read over some stuff for a few minutes. She was about 5 or 6 feet away. I decided to talk to her, and I started by commenting that the school needs more spots for us to sit because it’s hard to read on these benches (she was reading and had several books with her). She agreed and started to talk about how she can never find spots in the library etc. She was quite nice and friendly, and we talked for about 25 minutes with two short breaks in between.

About 15 minutes into the chat, I just casually asked her if she had a bf, and she said yes. I’m really glad that I did that, because if I didn’t, I could have seen myself saying something like “well hey, it’s been nice talking to you for sure, we should talk again sometime, lets trade #s’, or something like that. And based off of how our conversation went, I’m sure she probably would have agreed as it was the polite thing to do. So that one would have turned out to be a flake, or I would have found she had a boyfriend later on likely after getting my hopes up. At least this way, I found out within 15 minutes, and then I just continued and had a normal, polite conversation with her until she had to go about 10 minutes after that. No awkwardness at all. That’s how I should do things for now on. But man, does every chick have a boyfriend nowadays? Damn.

Online Girl

This is the chick that I went out with last Thursday night. Long story short I was talking to her trying to find out what’s going on and if we were going to go out again, and the long and short of it was that she’s into finding a serious relationship, and says I’m a really cool, nice guy but she didn’t feel much chemistry! Lol. .I’ve always thought that’s sort of a lame excuse, or an easy put down, but whatever. At this point I kind of didn’t give a fuck, so I sent her a ‘hail mary’ sort of text saying something like well I didn’t necessarily feel there was tons of chemistry either, but I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship anyways, and that I’d be into something casual, and we could still have some fun. Well, she wasn’t going for it as she said she doesn’t do stuff like that. Oh well, it was worth a shot I guess. Strike her off the list.

Girl that I approached last year

The brief rundown on this girl is that she was one of my first real approaches that I did last winter. She’s beautiful, at least looks wise, she’s the type I’d marry. I’m a sucker for a beautiful face, and long, straight dark brown hair. I mean her face is flawless, just a beautiful girl. Well long story short on this one is that I approached her on the bench, and talked to her for about 45 minutes and at the end of it, gave her my number. I remember I was so happy and ‘proud’ of myself that I did it that I damn near had a tear in my eye as I left the school that day. I was so happy. I thought things went well, and I was almost sure that she’d call me, but she never did. Looking back, I may have pulled an ‘Asian direct dude’ in that I probably stayed for way too long and covered nearly every fluff topic I could. But she was talking a lot too, and asking me lots of questions as well, so that’s why I was really shocked and let down when I never got a call or text from her.

Anyways, just seeing her was the final kick in the nuts that I needed to finish me off after a day like today. I saw her sitting on the bench, and I walked up and just said hi. We exchanged a few brief words, and I just told her I’ll let her get back to her reading, and said see you later. I could tell that there wasn’t really anything there, as she didn’t seem overly excited or anything to see me. She was nice, but I was already beat by that point in the day. This was not long after I got rejected from online girl, so just seeing this girl really just sealed the deal for me in calling this day a fail.

General Thoughts

I’m not even sure I have much to say, which is a surprise. I’m not the type to quit something the moment I deal with some adversity, but it’s just that today I feel so … well, rejected. I’m usually a pretty positive guy, and I’m thankful that it’s pretty rare that I actually feel down or depressed, but I must be honest and admit that I don’t feel so shit hot today. I know I can’t expect every chick to pan out, and the reality is that I don’t approach enough to get a big roster of chicks going. So I have these select few that I’ve approached over the last few weeks, and unfortunately none of them have panned out yet, so I feel like I’m making zero progress (which I am).

I’m not saying that I want to ‘quit’, not at all, because this is something that I can’t quit, unless I turn gay or be celibate, which just won’t happen. But sometimes it feels like a lost cause when you don’t make much progress. And sometimes I feel that I’m kidding myself for even doing this shit at school, and that my time has passed for that. But on the other hand, fuck that, it’s what I want, and I can’t help that I’m not into chicks that are older. I’ve always felt that my best chance of ever getting a quality girl that I’d like to settle down with will come from meeting her at university, instead of some drunk slut I might pick up at a club. I know school isn’t the only place to meet girls, but for me and my ‘skill level’ at picking up, I just feel that this is my only shot. So that’s why it sort of kills me to think that I’ll have to leave the school someday and I’ll still be single.

But yeah, that quote “Someday there will be no tomorrow” is something that I need to think about. It comes down to two choices, I need to step up, or step aside, because it’s true, I can’t wait. Someday there will be no tomorrow.

Sorry for the doom and gloom guys, I’m just having a shit day. I’ll bounce back!

Well, tomorrow is a new ....... haha, just kidding! At least I still have my sense of humor!

Cheers.