So, I have had sex with this girl before, but suddenly she is nervous I am just in it for the sex. All via text: I asked about meeting up with her later in the night and she got freaked out asking me if it was a booty call. I was like sort of, how about we hang out next Tuesday if tonight won't work. She says I feel like you are just trying to schedule in sex. I say no, no and she says well now I have that thought stuck in my head.

I do not know a lot about PUA techniques, but I remember reading about some similar behavior to this. What am I supposed to do to get her to be comfortable?

Was this just a one night stand the first time you had sex? If so, she maybe feels like the sex was something she regrets. Was it good or not, do not go in details. But if the encounter did not go well, and there where no indications of this reoccurring again it is going to be a little bit hard. Was it just one time? or has it been on and off?

Are you only interested in fucking one more time? Or like a fuck buddy? I am thinking you are not interested in a relationship with her.

Start on again with comfort building, like meeting her up at a coffee shop? Or something like that, well your intentions is to have sex with her again. So you should go out with her, maybe with some friends make it less pressure on her. Maybe it is the way you are asking her out, overall you need to comfort her more before going down under again. Give her the opportunity of hanging out with no pressure. Give the impression that you are not only interested in sex with her. Get to know her a little. She does not want to be looked as a complete slut i think, thats one of the reasons she is acting like this.

Girls like sex as much as guys, but one night stand is less pressure than more than having sex on a regular basis. If you want sex, you really have to start knowing her, to the point of fuck friend, but you also have to show her your intentions, after the comfort stage.

This was not a one night stand and we had had it before. I think your ideas are on point. I was just thinking I should go do something with her and make no sexual advances one day. Interested in a FWB kind of scenario.

I just found myself in a similar situation, and it is not yet resolved, so my advice is theoretical for both of us really.

I really like the idea above about going out with friends, it almost sounds like she had more than just casual sex with you in mind, and you did not. By going out with friends, you do not take a big step into intimate one on one situation where her idea of you two as a couple will grow. at the same time when you go out with friends, you are depicting the two of you together and public, which will appease her self conscious in that you are clearly not ashamed of being with her, which is something i have actually heard girls say in booty call situations.

The FWB field is quite new to me as well. But i am leaning towards the comfort with an emphasis on low key and casual interactions.


Hopefully someone can chime in with some more tried and tested advice as mostly all i am good for is single one night stands or long term relationships.


Oh last thing. One thing i am doing is having her over and keeping things casual and easy, but just hitting subtle little turn-ons without being overt with it. My goal is to turn her on without really making a show of me starting it, so that i can later blame her for it (playfully).

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"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"
-Wayne Gretzky

In my opinion don't even try to turn her on, not even subtle things. Don't think about sex, don't want it, don't talk about it, don't initiate it. Hang out with her without any expectations or desires. Just talk to her, do whatever you are doing.

If she is into you that alone will turn her on. She will see she was freaking out about nothing and that you are being genuine. If you go in even with subtle attempts to turn her on and she figures it out consciously or unconsciously you will have confirmed her beliefs and then its probably game over.

If you actually only want sex from her, tell her you want a FB and are not interested in a relationship, and that you didn't mean to cause her any harm. If you like her though, get to know her. You have plenty of time to fuck, but right now she is feeling like she needs a deeper connection with you before she will keep sleeping with you. Examine your own motivations then be honest about them.