First of all I have to write my story.

I had a girlfriend for about 2 years, the relationship was good at first, but then it went down. We started to argue more, and more. Then for more than about a year all we did was breaking-up then getting back together until she found someone else.

Then I completely ignored her for about 8 months, and she didn't contacted me. Then I started talking to her, and after out first meeting she confessed that her new relationship is not so good, and that we should get together and make the realtionship work for real this time.

I had time 1 week in a holiday to think about the decision. She started texting me a lot, she was so eager to see me again. I was sensing that she was missing me a lot.

So I accepted the situation because I told her that I knew my past mistakes and I can make everything right.
I didn't ask her to break-up with her bf, she said bad things about him, and said that she only loves me, and that she doesn't want to see him again.

We got together and she was in general a very good girlfriend. I gave her the freedom she wanted, I accepted that she is smoking, I accepted her friends, I didn't act gelous. Even if she didn't answer the phone I didn't act like a control freak. I always kept my calm. We spend some great time together. For example: at the beach.

Her boyfriend was desperately trying to contact me, but I avoided it. She told me that he is needy and the best is to avoid him. I agreed, thinking that this is the best decision.

Then suddently my father died. I wasn't expecting this. I was in great pain and in great shock. My girlfriend supported me and was with me at the funeral.

Then her boyfriend contacted me again saying that he is still with my girlfriend. She said that he is lying just to make me break-up up with her.

It turns out that he wasn't lying, she was with him and me at the same time. She lied everytime, and in week-ends she lied that she was called to go at work. She wasn't at work she was with him. Almost everytime when she wasn't with me, she was with him.

She chose to be with me, but then she started saying that she feels "strange". She said that I can go and sleep with her in the week-end that is coming, because she is alone (it was friday), but I hesitated because I wasn't feeling too good (I was ill since my father died, 2 weeks ago). Then she calls her boyfriend and ask him to go at her place. After I called her she told me why she felt "strange", because she doesn't love me, and she loves him.

The only thing he did was saying that she loves him, and it worked. If I do the same thing it doesn't work. She was always a lier, but this was the biggest of them all. Right now she won't even answer my messages.

Any opinions and advices on this situations will be greatly apprecieted because I am feeling down and depressed.

And don't hesitate to ask me as many questions as you want if I wasn't clear enough, or if you feel that some information is missing.

Hey,

I think you are mixing up two different things. Life can be hard and you have been hit by two major events at once, but still, you can´t mix them up.

1. Your dad. Sorry to hear about that, man. Do whatever you need to do to recover from this and be happy again. Take some time off from gaming. Or dive headfirst into it.

2. That girl. This relationship is already rotten from inside. And you have dignity, right? As harsh as it might sound, tell her to go f*ck herself and FTOW. Do NOT contact her again, this will only make it harder for you to emotionally deattach and get rid of her.

Things will eventually get better, now matter how bad stuff looks at the moment. Just be tough and carry on.

Thank you for your answer.
I just can't believe that someone can lie so much, and tell me that she only loves me, when she was with 2 guys at the same time.

I'd call her a whore and tell her to die in a school bus fire. Then tell her you faked everything and that you have a new girlfriend with bigger tits and a tighter pussy.

She's a liar and a slut, this is a bad combination of character traits for a girlfriend.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

I won't be so harsh to judge her, because I had an affair once. It was actually what forced me to really look at myself and start to solve my own problems.

The truth is, she probably has issues that she doesn't know how to deal with, and you were just the victim of circumstance. The good news is that you don't have to be depressed over it. Her actions may say something about your relationship, how unhealthy it was, and she just handled it all poorly. She's not the first, she won't be the last, but you can hold your head up. Her actions have more to do with her than you. After all, you were in the relationship too, and didn't do what she did, so that means that in terms of emotional and mental well being, you were in a better place than she was. When you start to feel depressed, remember that through the tough time, you handled it without resorting to the bad ways that she did. From what I hear, you are justified being sad, hurt, but you have a lot to be proud of, so remember that, and make your life all it can be moving forward.

Good luck.

You need to cut all ties with this girl and consider it a lucky escape. It's not your fault that she's like this and not your problem. Imagine how you would feel if you had invested ten years in the relationship and just found out now? You would feel a lot worse.

Nature has hardwired these feelings of loss into your brain (and every other guy on the planet) So's that you would keep the relationship through thick and thin till any children (your genes) were grown up and didn't need you as a provider/protector.

However...nature also provided you with a delete for these feelings: meeting another woman (another chance to propogate your genes) soon as you meet one all these depressing feelings disappear. So go out sarging and find yourself someone else. It's tough but push yourself. Hope it works out for you.

hey man, you just have to meet some more girls, this sucks for you cause you don't have other options,

if you want monogamy with this girl, then you should cut ties with her and delete her number, because the chances of that happening and working out, are not looking good, she likes to cause drama and test you playing the roll of the power position,

if you don't care about monogamy, and have other girls, you can just keep banging her and put yourself in the power position, who cares that she is banging some guy besides you, when you are also seeing other girls

but as long as you care about this girl, you should probably cut ties with her for yourself, just so that you can emotionally detach from a girl that is obviously trying to use your emotions to her advantage, no emotions = no advantage

and really you can't really control how you feel, but you can control the actions you take and specific actions can alter how you feel (such as not focusing on her and focusing on something else)

Thank you all for your answers.

This girl definitely doesn't deserve another chance, as I gave her too many already.

But I don't get it how she chose that other guy, because all he did was to tell her that he loves her, to beg, and to cry.

I am sure that their relationship won't work in the future.

But I am sure that our relationship could have worked if she wasn't a cheater and a lier.

Man you shouldn't be depressed I never even had a girlfriend and im not depressed. you should just go On to the next one,cant be afraid to fail when your searching perfection.

Sorry for your loss.

Take time away from this unworthy girl and think of your family.

I would dump her completely from your life and find a great new girl once you feel like it again. You badly needed her and she let you down. Fuck her!

Nothing beats getting over the last one like finding an even better one.

Always does me the world of good:)

My heart goes out to you man. I agree with the rest, cut contact with the girl and focus on what's really important: taking the time to support your family and deal with the grief for your father. When the time is right, you go out, meet new girls, and forget all about the cheating bitch.

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

Hey OP,

I was in a similar situation (kinda still am) like you. Not exact, but I can relate to most of your feelings.

Regardless, here is my advice.

Priorities first: Forget all other noise in your life and work through your grief, look for support from true friends and family.

Move on from that lying woman. Delete everything about here. Don't even think about the past, it'll just make you angry and resentful. I learned this not too late and it has saved me a lot of stress. It was hard at first.
If it makes you feel better, just know her boyfriend is in a bad spot. I mean, he now knows what type of person she is, so now it's his problem. I bet all my savings she is worse than what she sounds. Manipulative women get worse. 100% experiece here.

I'm sorry for your loss. My father is very ill and I can understand how you feel. I hung on to my one of my exes/gf/whatever to get me through this time. It helped, but it complicated things for me (her too prob). Regardless, I got rid of her. I resented that decision for a few weeks, but now I'm happy I did. It was the best.

Now that you're out of the mess, move on and try to stay busy.

_________________
Lead
Independent
Vigorous
Eccentric

I think one word sums it up.

Ok, thank you for your answer.
You are right his boyfriend is in a bad position, so I was, but now I am free.
Today I saw some new pictures on facebook of them kissing, that didn't make me feel so good. She is looking so happy with him, but then again she looked very happy with me too.

I now I deserve someone better, but I still can't understand why she chose to be with him, because I am better looking, I am smarter and so on. And it's not even hard to have this qualities over that guy(her boyfriend).

Today I found out the answer why she chose him over me and why she cheated me, and her explanation is because I was depressed. I was only talking about my father's death, and that made her cheat me and leave me.

She said "you are upsed 1 day or 2 then you should move on, this is a minor problem"

Hey man I just want you to know that you're not alone. In reading your story it reminded me of some things I'm going through right now. I'm not trying to take away from your pain I just thought I would share some insight. The beginning of your story almost mirrored my most recent relationship. I'll try to make this short. We dated each other for a while, like a year and a half, and then ended abruptly. We stopped talking, then about 6 months after that I realized that I wanted her back. I thought that maybe we could work through our problems and everything would be happily ever after. And it was for about the first 8 months. We were in love. I really loved that girl. But then we started fighting and arguing all the time. Breaking up every 3 weeks or so. All my friends told me that it would never work but I did't listen to them. Anyway, we ended up moving to California together(this was already in the plans) and sure enough, we didn't make it one month.

I was devastated. I couldn't eat, I slept all day to forget about my life. I wouldn't go out. I drank excessively. I was full on 100% DEPRESSED. But I got through it. I started going out, I started meeting new people. I started gaming again. Hell, I wish I had known about this site, I prob would have been less depressed.

So I started looking back on my relationship wondering where we went wrong. The conclusion I came up with, and its really quite simple, is that there was a reason we didn't work out the first time. Now I'm not going to go into the entire dynamics of my relationship but we both had our problems. The point is, you cant force relationships. They just happen. And, while you will always have feelings for this person the best thing you can do is start by blocking them from your facebook. Seeing her photo will break you every time. Then start hitting the gym. Running def takes your mind off of things. Then, when your out and about start opening people without actually talking to them. What I mean is just think of something funny or clever that you would say. After a while, you will start to gain the confidence to actually say that clever opener. Its takes time man. I can't sit here and act like I know exactly what you're going through. but I have had some experience. I hope something in there helped. Stay strong. After the low tide comes the HIGH!!

Also: Brush up on the MM. Just read the thing cover to cover again, or read the TAO of BA. Its pretty much the same thing but its written by a different person so it's not repetitive. I swear I've read the MM like 5 times. I know that thing cover to cover.

One more thing: If you actually believe her bullshit about her cheating on you because all you talked about is your father then you need to slap yourself. And I'm not f-ing kidding man!! Delete her number, delete her from your life, permanently!! This girl is no good for you.