Developed oneitis for a male PUA. Sex is insane and I'm 100% confident he feels the same. He's slipped twice now telling me he loves me in the act. But he's still adamant on spacing out dates and he always has an end time when we do see each other. He's also been clear that he does not a relationship. Am I totally fucked or is there a way for a FPUA to swing this in her favor?

Your only hope most likely would be to put him in a position he wants sex again, but blow him off. Say you are supposed to get it on thursday night, by meeting at 8. go ahead and set it up then cancel on him. Next time set it up, and don't, then cancel on him again, maybe twice in a row. Start getting wishy washy and make him think you might be talking to someone else.

You will have to call his bluff to make it a commitment. Some guys, me included, like women more when they start playing harder to get. I wasn't attracted emotionally to some girls I knew I could fuck. They were always going to be on the back burner while I chased something else. But once I didn't know what was going on with them and why I was getting rejected, I started developing more feelings for them.

Make yourself (slightly) harder to get a hold of. But if you REALLY want anything to blossom from it. Make sure you know what his AGENDA is so you know you're not beating a dead horse.

Find hobbies, indulge yourself, remember your life outside of him, date other men.

He'll be back sooner or later if he's actually interested. Try and avoid breaking dates though. Nobody likes that shit, male or female.


Instead of breaking dates just say you have plans from the start. Don't agree and then break them last minute. That's the fastest way to get labeled as a time waster.

Send me a picture of yourself naked maybe there's a problem?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

work on yourself, the relationship is defined currently and he has made that clear

you are likely not an immediate interest for him as a long term relationship but you are a sexual option

relationships are more about the connection, the commonalities and how the girl makes you feel, and for some guys (typically younger guys), it can be about ego validation and having a certain type of girl on your arm so you can be approved of by your social circle

girls that actually are fun to be around and offer something more then just their vagina's are the girls that stick out in your mind for the long term, the girls that actually meet your standards and bring something to table that benefits the two of you, basically if you want to be around a girl all the time because of the girl she is rather then just for sex, that is the type of girl you want to keep around, that is the type of girl that you fall for, girls that you have chemistry with both sexually and emotionally, girls that bring real value beyond their body to the interaction, seriously focus on yourself as a person more then just how to leverage your sexuality, or how to become better looking, you could be straight 9/10 good looking, if he doesn't click well with you and doesn't enjoy spending time because there is not a mutual chemistry, there is almost nothing you can do, eventually the sex will become boring and there will be no reason for him to want to stick around, give him a real reason beyond sex to want to be around you but always respect yourself

work on yourself, become more confident, more indifferent (less needy), build your self esteem, start taking better care of yourself physically, start taking more care towards socializing in general and building a skill set that is desirable to you, give him a real reason to think about you and miss you, and if he can't see that you are worth it, then there will be plenty of other guys who will see that as long as you are willing to make yourself vulnerable and trust someone for a shot at something and give them a real chance

but also you have to keep in mind that some guys are just not in the head space in their lives where monogamy is an appealing option (especially if the guy is high in demand)

This is what I was trying to get at, except with much more elaboration

Thanks for all the advice. I don't think I'm going to win this game. Out of curiosity, what would make you (anyone reading this who is a male) choose monogamy?

physical standards first to be sexually attracted (sex is really important for a relationship to work for a guy)

standards on relationship is about what she is like in general, but the long term vs short term is usually determined by personality, it is almost all how she makes you feel, the mutual benefit you have from being with her and the commonalities you share, how much you trust her, etc. but for some guys it's a validation thing, and they date to impress their friends instead of dating because they actually like the girl, in this case it would be mostly how physically attractive you are, as well as who you hang out with, so that the guy can feel bragging rights over his friends and to generalize this sort of thing is more likely to happen when a guy is younger teens and isn't concerned with the long term, etc.

but the more secure a guy is, the more it will be about the girl and how she is rather then what she looks like, and what his friends think of that, as long as you are physically attractive ''enough'' then your personality and lifestyle will often determine if you are in for the long term

for example, my Ex was actually less physically attractive then the girl I was sleeping with before her, but she was amazing, it's why I started to care about her, way way more important to me, she was funny, challenging, kind, humble, considerate and just a generally warm positive person that didn't ask for anything or try to get anything from me, she was an amazing person

as apposed to the girl I was sleeping with before her, pretentious, needy for attention, always wanted me to deliver more, take her out more, nothing was good enough, really sensitive and jealous, frequently prone to emotional outbursts, wasn't very fun to be around herself and just expected me to entertain her, also loved to throw temper tantrums and create drama when she didn't get what she wanted

also, for monogamy, you just wait for the girl to ask you out, that is another factor I suppose, you just hang out more and more and wait until the girl says asks you to date her, then you either say yes cause it is what you wanted all along and didn't want to ruin a good thing, or you just try to divert or redirect to keep sleeping with her without committing, or you just cut her loose

Constant sex? low std risk? simple question.

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It is not AA that scares me or affects me anymore, its leading a conversation forward and keeping her interested. AA is nothing. Formally newpua2012, lost my pw

I would add to that, not having to deal with a bunch of women's annoying personalities.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Ok, watch the video on my signature, many many times.

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Nathan Griffin

Monogamy shouldn't be your end game.

The girls I've fallen hardest for over the last few years are the girls who've been most open to sex and exploration. Girls who've appreciated that I might be sleeping with others but haven't tried to play games around it. Girls who have simply enjoyed the time we spent together and not freaked out about when we were apart.

I mean this seriously. These girls are legitimately exceptions and over time I can't help but want to spend more an more time with them.

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Want to become a natural seducer? Look here - http://therebornnatural.com

don't over think it so much. also you already sound mentally defeated, you can't expect positive results if you are focused on a negative outcome.

they concept is simple: "don't be so easily available"

when you are with hime, dont so much play games as keep him guessing how you feel. so many guys claim the "chase" is what they want, but thats the same BS girls spit when they say they just want a "manly gentleman". in both cases they just become obsessed with a false ideal, and when the game ends so does the interest.

keep it simple, be sincere, but don't make your feelings obvious. When you aren't "easy" he'll come around. also, just to up the reality of loosing you hang out with some potential competition. not as ajealousey game, but as a genuine "having alife without him" reality check. he will pick up on it, and do not appologize.

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"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-