Last week I asked out a girl at my work. I thought we'd been getting on well and I thought I'd been getting good signals from her but I never assumed anything. Before I asked her out I was prepared for a no. We were talking about films and she showed interest in Taken 2, I said I'd like to take her and she said "sure, why not". I asked her to put her number into my phone and she told me to text her later to find out when she was available.

Now I know it's rare that girls say no to your face and when I text her I might come up against the 'busy' excuse. When I texted her I was prepared for something to miraculously come up on that day and time so she couldn't go, however what I was not prepared for was a text reply saying that I had the wrong number.

Following this curveball I feel like shit now, especially knowing they'll be awkward moments when we walk past each other at work. I would have preferred a straight no. For her to say yes, get my hopes up and then find out she gave me the wrong number make me feel like I've been played. Now I know everybody gets rejected, I know I should learn from it but I still feel like shit. My question is what do you think is the best way to pick yourself up after getting a rejection? And do you think I should confront this girl just to make sense of the situation, or should I just ignore her and move on?

Thanks for your help

It is surprising indeed. One is ready for a no, but not so much for a wrong number.

I think that preparation towards rejection comes before getting rejected, and the only way to have that is by being rejected a lot of times before that one interaction.

Wich means, it comes from experience. Congratulations man, you have more experience now.

Let`s put all the possibilities on the table, she might have gave you the wrong number by accident. In that case, you should not confront her with a bad look on your face. She might have made a mistake.

Most probably is that she did it on purpouse, in wich case you have to be confrontrational about it; but rather on a situation were you can make fun of her. Wait for the time to be right on the job, while talking to another co worker or something, and send her a messege saying you don`t give a fuck about her number.

This has to be said in a funny way, with you being totally comfort with that comment, any sign of anxiety might give you away.

Wouldn't saying "I don't give a fuck about your number" sound a bit pathetic, like those guys who start hating a girl because she rejected them? I don't want to be one of those guys, as I find it a immature and a bit sad. The reason I think I should confront her is just to find out the truth, because there's a lot I'm confused about.

I think I should go up to her and be honest, say something like "look, I just want you to know something. If you weren't interested I'd rather you just said no or sorry I'm not interested. I feel that saying yes and then giving me a wrong number is a bit rude. I'm a big guy I can take no for an answer, I wish you had the decency to just be honest with me."

You think that's a good idea?

I agree with you that confronting her is a good idea. Your chances are already shot, so they can only improve. What I would change about the way you're going to say it though, is that your formulation already presumes that she is not interested. I would start out with the idea that it was innocent miscommunication, because perhaps it was. So I'd start with a question: "I tried texting you the other night, but I got a message back that it was the wrong number. Do I have your number here correctly?" and you give her the phone. Her answer will betray what she truly feels. If she seems hesitant, stand-offish or you catch her in a lie, you say the following: "I feel like you are not being totally honest with me." Again, her reaction will betray her true feelings about you. Note that you are not accusing her of anything (like rudeness, indecency, or dishonesty), but just telling her how you feel about your interaction with her. That will take the sting out of it, and will, hopefully, prevent her from becoming defensive about her behavior. If she gave you the wrong number on purpose and you can get her to apologize for this, you may still have a chance at a lasting friendship with her (romance or sex seems unlikely in this case, but who knows right?).

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

There a lady about my age in my office who isn't "classically" attractive but she is attractive IMHO and I do practice my flirting on her.

She is no longer in my team but I had sat next to her last week to offer to do some letter opening and sorting and she said, "you come round here because of me" (or something similar). I get the impression she might be flirting with me as well.

But would I risk an office relationship because of the awkward moments and risk of rejection? Likely not. The office politics and rumour mill would go into overdrive as well.

I understand what you're saying scubadiver, I'm afraid I wasn't that clear in my opening post. Although she technically works with me as in she works for the same company but the company is a big department store so although it's likely we will cross paths we won't do so regularly as we work in different departments in the store.

Maybe the girl just made a mistake when she put her number in your phone? usually people will read out their number as you enter it into your own phone then ring straight across so they have yours from their phone log. A lot of people actually don't even know their own number by rote so mistakes can happen, the fact that the girl knew she would see you again on a regular basis and as such would be creating akward moments for herself makes me think this is the case.

Hamlet:(on rejection) "for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

Assume that she has given you the wrong number by mistake. If she knows that she will so you again at work or whatever you said, then she knows it would be awkward to give you the wrong number, therefore she would not give you a wrong number
conclusion is that it was a accident.

confront her and make a joke about it, show that you have confidence

i would say something like "you know, it really hurtet my feelings that you would give me a wrong number, here i am almost already planning our weeding and thinking about our future kids names, and you don't even want to give me your real number... wow! at least be honest next time instead of saying that you would like to go...!" said with an obvious sarcasm ofc!

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My mind have an idea of what i deserve - i will go beyond it

Yeah, always assume something positive. It sounds really strange that a girl you talk to face-to-face on a semi-regular basis would give you a fake phone number intentionally.

It's possible that she just "fat-fingered" the buttons when entering her number, and hit a wrong key by mistake. That is what you should assume.
Make a joke about it when you see her next. You can salvage a date or at least your dignity by not acting awkward and by acting like a calm cool guy who was unaffected by the wrong number.
Bust her balls about not knowing how to type or not knowing her own number or something like that, but in a playful manner.

If it turns out that she did intentionally give you a wrong number, then ask yourself, do you really want to date a girl who doesn't have the balls to just be honest and say she isn't interested and has to resort to silly children's games? If the answer you receive is a "yes" then you need to work on your self-esteem and integrity.