This is my introduction to the forum. I am 5'8'', 147 lbs. For the majority of my life, I've had trouble talking to girls. In high school, the majority of the girls I hooked up with were younger than me. I had minor success in college, but I could never open up any sets. The only time I had success was when I somehow had girls giftwrapped for me. For the last five years, I have been in a very bad dry spell. I have been very lonely and I usually hangout/date overweight girls because I feel more comfortable talking to them. I pretty much keep them around to have someone to talk to. I recently moved from Connecticut to Los Angeles to change my life around. I am in the process of body building to increase my confidence in which I hope it will translate to getting chicks. I recently came upon PUA and I am very intrigued and I have started studying the various rules/techniquues. However, I still am very scared to even attempt to open up a set in a public setting. I am hoping that I can learn something from this forum to turn my life around. Any techniques/hints are greatly appreciated!

Hi annuitize,
From your height and your weight you do not seem THAT bad lol (as that is where I stand as well )
Im new to this forum but luckily I already had a fair share of the game for the last years. Only now that I started to apply actual strategy and psychology to it.
What I would suggest you start doing is open up (usually situational openers) on ANYONE during the day, as nightclubs and bars do put a bit of anxiety normally.
Supermakets, stores, streets, queues etc. You name it.
No need of transitions and complicated conversations yet, Just open up and thats it.
Example youre at a supermaket and while looking at the cheese counter a nice young lady is buying some cheese. Have a quick look at what she bought and just comment on it, in a natural way. No matter what you "improvise", just smile and say something. Like - "Thats a good choice!!"
Just one line like this, if delivered with the right tone and body language/face expressions, can do miracles.

This will help you :
1 - Become more confident in approaching PEOPLE
2 - Get the hang of the reactions of people. |You will "feel" whos into your
converstation and whos not
3 - You improve your skills at improvisation. You will start thinking quick on your
feet and just spit it out.


Once you got this part ok, start moving to clubs. You will not start talking to everyone immediately but you will have some hardwired stuff in your brain that will help you when you do.

I dont know if all that ive said is clear or makes any sense, as im not a writer, but if you have any questions please ask.

Hey annuitize,
i have a similar problem and i think we could help each other out. shooting you a PM

Hi annuitize,
Start going after 180 and up until you rebuild your confidence. 3 successes then move target down 5 pounds. No successes in a month, add 5 pounds. Try it. I bet you can do a 170 pounder by Christmas. VR

totally solid advice, but like how can he tell if some chick is 180 pounds just by looking at her?

just make a solid concious effort to approach the girls you are actually attracted to, continue to make this a habit regularily until it makes no difference to you and you do it regularily

if you find even after becomming comfortable with regularily approaching and escalating on girls you are more attracted to is still not getting you the results you wanted

improve your self and your plan of action

Hi, ao fan,
We’re people, not accountants. He can’t know what she weighs. He shouldn’t think “She looks 181; too fat” or “She looks 179, out of my league.” To reject even 190 or 170 as too far from 180 would be anal. What he does need to do is start with women who will be less picky, where he has a better chance of success. Practice his PUA skills there, get more confidence, slowly move toward HB7’s and higher. If he can’t succeed at around 180, move the immediate goal to something more attainable.
He’s got to be able to tell the difference between 180 and 140. No harm in approaching some 140’s now. Approaching only 140’s just extends his string and further hurts his confidence. If he can score with a 160 by Christmas, great. VR

Hi, annuitize,
If you’re smart, you’ll recognize sincere advice and consider it. You’ll decide some is good advice and take it. If mine isn’t right for you, don’t take it, but do take good advice when you hear it. Don’t rely on preconceived ideas. VR

Keep believing in yourself. Inner Game is key.

Try this:

Every single day, when you wake up and get dressed, tell yourself ONE REASON why you are awesome, and repeat it until it sinks in

Your confidence will grow as a result

anny, to succeed in LA u have to change what wasn't working in ct. find coed activities to join: flag football, other sports. more girls around = more chances.

hey sorry I haven't checked this thread in a few weeks.

so I went out to this club in DT, Adrian Lux was DJ'ing. a ton of asian girls. it was pretty hot. so anyways, i went get way too drunk. open up a ton of sets, all badly, very badly. i tried using some openers from season 1 of PUA, and one girl actually called me out on it. then towards the end I was so drunk that I was just tapping on girls' shoulders to see if they wanted to dance. no luck. me and my friend ended up wandering outside and I'm pretty sure we smoked crack with some homeless guy.

that's definitely a good idea, pretty much, start with fatties and work your way down to acceptable girls. i need to really work on my stack though... see if WFH as an actuary and don't get much face to face interaction, so my social skills are very limited, ask ao fan or CM.

many of us have same problem like you

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How to Attract and Seduce Women

How to Attract and Seduce Women page

:iatp:

my sister joined a volleyball team and made a ton of friends that way. The purpose of these teams is mostly for happy hours after the games. Although, she's really outgoing too, so probably easy for her once put in a social situation.

what were the openers that you tried?

i think you're supposed to just start dancing with them and see if they go with it. idk though. i don't do clubs.