GF and I met on OKCupid 5 months ago. She deleted her account soon after. We became 'boyfriend/girlfriend' 1 month ago (but I am allowed to screw around once/month...her idea even!).

On October 1st (Monday) morning she found another girl's panties in an endtable drawer. She royally flipped out, compared us to Henry VII and Ann Boleyn etc., even though she know an ex of mine sometimes hangs out, does my chores for money like a personal maid, etc. I calmed her down, but later that day she resurrected her OKC profile and checked mine, and found ouy I had recently logged in (ironically, I had only done so once since our 3rd date.) She dumped me summarily over email. I told her both the panties and the OKC login were innocuous.

Her emails since have been mostly short and cold, just asking when she can come pick up her stuff, and she's been on OKC a lot. Her emails say stuff like 'I could never trust you again, if I slept in your bed I'd wonder if another girl had the previous night, you were the man of my dreams but now you could never be, your feelings were obviously not strong enough if there were other girls in your life' etc.

My emails have been very reassuring and emotional and 'we'll heal' etc. (but not simpering or super-beta). Still isn't working.

What do I do!?

Just say "I tried to explain but you won't listen, if this is what you want then goodbye" and stop talking to her.

You were only abiding by the rules that she had set, right? If she wanted the rules to change, she should explain that up front and give you the opportunity to say whether you were comfortable with the new rules.

If your story is true, then she made rules, then got pissed that you played by them, and that's hardly worth you losing sleep over.

My advise to you is treat the relationship like it is over if this is what she is really like, and find someone better to have a relationship with. If she shows some maturity later on of her own accord, then I would consider resuming one with her.

While you guys definitely have good points, one thing she said to me is that it's more about the lying than the screwing around, and I suspect that if I'd said, "Yeah, I had sex with an ex, that's why they are there, remember the once-a-month rule?" She might have taken it much better. She claims it's less about the cheating than the lying (don't they always so that!?) Ironically, I actually wasn't cheating in this case, the panties really were there b/c the ex was there for nonsexual reasons.

I've noticed that in these forums, the replies are almost always, "Forget her, go find someone better who never gives you crap." While that's good advice, it's not very complete advice. I do have other girls available and could go get more....but what if a guy wants this girl, or wants this girl AND others.

Plus she's probably the most intelligent girl I've been with, and I actually want children one day, high IQ children. I know Oneitis is a dirty word around here, but part of a complete tool chest of pick up and relationship techniques (which is what this forum is supposed to be about) should be being able to keep and manage a particular girl if that's what the guy wants to do.

"Getting" things can be a fun hobby. Some people make a mess of their homes and "get" a ton of house pets. Some "get" a ton of shoes, bags, bicycles, watches, tech gadgets, books, etc . . .

Now . . . "getting" lots of girls can be fun too but the problem with girls is that they have opinions and they come and go whenever they want. And the problem with their opinions is that their opinions change.

More problems:

She's right. You're not really that into her.

She was never that into you either. This girl is a deal breaker. So you stuck your dick inside another chick and she really, really doesn't like it. It would be screwy for a chick to do nothing about it it's just as screwy for a chick to break a deal from one event.

She's leaving you a tiny window back in. Yeah, this is a problem . . . because if you choose to climb back in there, not only are you going to deal with this same shit when you do ANYTHING that she doesn't really, really like, she's got you on the tightest f'ing leash ever. She's a punisher.

You want THAT to be the mother of your children? You think THAT is smart? Exploding in the face of disagreement followed by the cold SPAM isn't exactly smart parenting. This is the way she treats the World . . . you were just too busy thinking about her vagina to see it.

This...and I want to say "Uhh Duhh"