Starting to get fed up



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 Post subject: Starting to get fed up
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 11:11 am 
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Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:31 pm
Posts: 335
Yes i know another relationship thread, but i only really value the PUA opinion on these matters, when taking in mind i was raised up to be an emasculated bitch.

Bottom line is I'm starting to feel a lack of respect or attention from my 8 month girlfriend, we are in, i suppose a medium distance relationship, we live about a hour away from each other, and both have busy schedules. Generally speaking she is very level headed and very pragmatic with her emotions, not like most girls, she has displayed tremendous amounts of loyalty in the past though so i am not fussed by that.

However recently i have been feeling that i am becoming like the bitch, i suggest that we go places, and she gets fed up when she rejects the offer, we are now just like fuck buddies. She is also a workaholic, which puts a strain on our social life together.
Examples of her not making the effort, would range from times when i made my way all over to where she lives and for her to just be quiet and miserable for the time i was there. Or not speaking to me for nearly a week. Yesterday was the last straw, as i invited her to come to see me play a gig in a city close to where she lives, and she gave the "i have no money" excuse.

There are a lot of other factors that can't be helping either, such as her old enemy sharing a flat with me (because of circumstances out of my control) and four other girls.

I could be looking too much into this but i am feeling massively beta, the strange thing is that i am getting everything i want from a relationship (apart from sex) from other girls, and most disturbingly, this old enemy of hers, is acting more like a girlfriend to me than she is (i.e. asking how my new job is going, saying she will iron my shirts, engaging in deep conversation) it is disturbing because i am also aware that this old enemy does like to manipulate and play games.


So in conclusion i want to have words with her, and freeze her out for a while, in terms of words i am not sure how to articulate how i am feeling, and then part of me is considering leaving her. She has a lot of very good qualities, and makes a good girlfriend for me for what i am doing in my life at the moment, but i feel like I'm being strung a lot SPAM making all the effort.

Appreciate any advice.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2012 8:25 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:50 pm
Posts: 587
You're feeling massively beta. Those are your words. You feel what you feel based on what you focus on and how you act. In other words, stop acting beta, and you'll stop feeling beta.

What good is a relationship that makes you feel like you're anything less than what you want to be?

You either are getting what you want from the relationship or you're not. If not, figure out what else it is you want, explain it to her, and go from there. I'm not even saying you need to break up, but just reaffirm what it is you're going to get from the relationship and what you're going to get from outside of it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 12:15 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2010 11:47 pm
Posts: 295
Sounds like she is thinking of breaking up with you mate. Might even be because of another guy in the frame?

If you usually talk every day, then go a week with no contact something is definitely up.


40 fatal signs that you’re about to be dumped

1.Decreased or non-existent eye contact – can no longer look you in the eye.
2.Stops using his/her pet name for you.
3.Begins distancing himself/herself from you emotionally.
4.No longer asking you about your day.
5.No longer shares the events of his or her day.
6.Becomes highly critical of your appearance, behavior, speech of other things you do.
7.Picks fights over trivial or insignificant matters.
8.Is now busily involved in new activities that don’t include you.
9.Develops a cold uncaring attitude
10.No longer wants to participate in activities that the two of you once enjoyed together.
11.Is less attentive to you and your needs.
12.Becomes rude, disrespectful, or inconsiderate.
13.Avoids spending quality time with you.
14.Stops being romantic.
15.Complains about you to friends - yours and theirs.
16.Stops giving you compliments.
17.Pulls way when you try to show affection.
18.Having conversation with him or her is like pulling teeth.
19.No longer cares about where you go or what you do.
20.Reluctant to make or commit to any long range plans that involve the two of you
21.Talks about needing space.
22.No more pillow talk after sex.
23.Gives you the silent SPAM.
24.Accuses you of making demands on his or her time.
25.Takes longer to return your calls, or doesn’t return them at all.
26.Stops checking in routinely with you during the day.
27.No longer holds your hand in the movies, or when you’re walking together.
28.Becomes short tempered or impatient with you.
29.Things you say or do that they once considered cute or endearing now annoy them.
30.restless when they’re around you – can’t wait for your time together to end.
31.May not flirt openly with the opposite sex in your presence.
32.Starts doing things to sabotage your relationship.
33.Accuses you of checking up on him or her.
34.Accuses you of having an affair.
35.Starts talking about dating others (if single), or getting a divorce (if married).
36.Becomes evasive or secretive about his or her activities.
37.Overreacts to innocent questions or comments from you.
38.Has an air of indifference.
39.Makes excuses to avoid previously planned social activities with you.
40.Develops new interests or hobbies that he or she doesn’t share with you.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 3:32 pm 
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Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:31 pm
Posts: 335
To be honest, i can tick most of those boxes, i have stopped making the effort now, and am looking elsewhere for potentials. I am not dumping her at the moment, because she is working hard and i know from personal experience the last thing you want to do after working ten hours at work, is send lovely duvey texts, and she has been apologetic for cancelling and not being able to see me.

I am on the prowl now for potentials, well we'll see :lol:
she hasn't been overtly disrespectful otherwise i think that will be it for me.


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