hi

Being a 21 year old virgin, loner, behind in school etc
i cant believe there is any sort of hope for me...

ive pretty much never had any friends at all, only people i talk to in college, school university ,work etc

how does it get better, i cant imagine it being any better than this

i sometimes make it out as if this disease is like terminal cancer, its gonna make me die soon. I will not spend my free time playing wow to drown out the pain anymore. I will see a doctor and if they cant help then im gonna kill myself,

tbh the only reason i am alive is because i see some hope, i wish i didint though, i wish i could just die , but you need to be brave to do that

any1 else feel tired and just want to die?

i still cannot believe that any1 here on this forum has got better by themselves, mostly its just full of pua material promoters. I cant believe any1 has gone from being a loner throughout their lives to becoming popular or even just satisfied, it doesnt make sense, how do you do it?

I think many more than would admit have been where you are. Good news is yes you can do this. Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy.

You have to do this, you must tear yourself away from the safe comfort of certainties that are not getting you where you want to be!

Talking to a professional is a good start.

But you are the one that CAN and will change this.

Do it NOW. Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.

I know,.....I did

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I agree with Heywood, get help now. You have a choice of seeing a doctor or alternatively you can go to a hospital A&E unit and ask to see a mental health professional.

When I was sixteen I was having similar feelings and didn't really have any hope then out of nowhere I met a girl on a family holiday, we clicked and even though I knew nothing would come of it (we lived on other sides of the world) it gave me a glint of hope to go on. My point is that a flicker of hope can come from ANYWHERE at ANY time so do not give up.

I felt myself slipping back into that old mindset recently so for the last four months I have been seeing a counsellor to get to the root of the problems. This experience has been invaluable for me and it really is something I would recommend. FUCK THE STIGMA, FUCK YOUR FALSE PRIDE, THIS IS YOUR LIFE.

Your brain is a computer and at the moment the programming is slightly off, that is all. I promise you that with day to day changes that ARE within your grasp, your life can and will be what you want it to be.

1) Leave pride at the door
2) Ask for help from a professional
3) Keep an open mind
4) ENJOY THE NEXT STEP

Please keep us posted with your progress, stay strong brother, be courageous and focus on the now.

Much Love

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TruthLoveLaugh

I've had suicidal thoughts too, you are not alone. True story. I used to have this personal philosophy about myself called FFB. Fucked From Birth. I literally thought I was just meant to be screwed in life from day one, because things had always gone bad for me, especially when it came to money and women. But I kept going, enduring whatever life threw at me. As I got older, I saw that many other people had MUCH worse shit happen to them. Then as time went on, good shit started happening to me. I got to make out with hot teenage girls, be in some threesome's, and make a decent living for myself. But the only way I was able to do that was by not giving up and perservering. And guess what? Bad shit still happened intermittently, because that's just how life is. However, knowing that I was able to acheive things I never thought possible when I was depressed, that compels me to continue soldiering on. I know that in the future good things will once again happen, it's just a matter of time. You'll die eventually anyway, no need to cut it short by your own doing. Get something out of life while you can. And do us all a favor and tell someone that you know in person that you are having suicidal thoughts. Seek some help, professional or otherwise. Nobody here want's to see you kill yourself bro. Because some of us were in your shoes once too.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Hey Blue Indian,

21 year old virgin is nothing compared to a lot of the guys on here.

The other guys posting on this have given some great advice, while I've never been down as low as you, I've had similar thoughts and here's how I overcame them (bare with me as it's a little unintuitive).

If you're at the point where you're thinking, fuck it, I'm just going to kill myself, instead why not think, fuck it, I'm just going to improve myself. Find what you like doing and do more of it.

I'm guessing your feelings are to do with a low self confidence (because mine were). I got over that with a simple thought. NOTHING MATTERS. There are 7 billion people on the planet, 100 billion stars in our galaxy and 100 billion galaxies in our universe, you will at best live for 100 years of the 13 billion that the universe has been around. This means that all of us are completely insignificant and equal. Nothing we do has any impact in the grand scheme of things.

So..... Do whatever the fuck you want! When your life doesn't have any impact, might as well be selfish and just make sure that you have as much fun as possible. If you want to play wow, play wow, if you want to climb a tree, climb a fucking tree, if you want to get laid, do what it takes to get laid. You don't have to care what anybody else thinks because it doesn't matter, they don't matter either.

I hope you take this the right way. Some people don't agree with me but I personally find this thought empowering.

Synergy.

Don't play WoW. I used to be addicted to WoW and video games, but I found that they only isolated me. I used to think I was a loner too, but I came to learn that I was making myself a loner by choosing to stay inside playing video games, instead of making an effort to interact with others in the real world.

I lost my virginity when I was 21. Then I went 6 years without having sex again. I told myself things like "I'll never have sex again" and "I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life." I told myself all the negative things about myself, constantly. I found a strange comfort in my self pity. Since I believed I would be alone for the rest of my life, I often wondered "what's the point in even living, then? I should just kill myself."

Then, I began to ask myself "what am I doing to make my life any better?" Certainly staying inside playing WoW wasn't helping me. I was definitely going to be alone if I didn't stop playing WoW all the time, because I wasn't going to meet any girls at my house. I wouldn't have gone 6 years without sex if I had not wasted time playing video games and spent more time going out.

But, I told myself that I didn't like going out. I didn't drink, so I had no reason to go to bars. I didn't like to dance, so why go to a club? I didn't like douchebags who act tough, or girls who are snobby, so why go out and be around those people?
I gave myself every excuse why I didn't want to go out and why I shouldn't go out. But, the truth was, I was just afraid of things that were outside my comfort zone, and so I avoided it all. I stayed inside my comfort zone, because it was familiar, it was what I knew, even though my comfort zone was extremely painful and made me want to kill myself.

Then, I got a job as a waiter, waiting tables at a TGI Friday's restaurant. Restaurants are extremely social workplaces. It's like social hour while you're at work. Everyone talks, everyone hangs out together. Servers go out after their shifts EVERY night. Servers hook up with one another constantly.

I worked there for 6 years. At first, I just talked to people while at work, but didn't associate with anyone outside of work. They always went out to bars, or clubs, or to someone's house. But, I was still telling myself I didn't like those things, so I sat at home alone playing WoW.
Then, one night, I decided I was going to go out. I was scared out of my mind, because I was leaving my comfort zone. I went to the bar where the people from my work were hanging out at. When I walked in, they were all shocked to see me, because I had never went out with them before.

At first, I felt really awkward and out of place, like I didn't belong there. All I wanted to do was get out of there and run home to my computer and play WoW. But, I stayed. I made an effort to talk to people. The longer I was there, the more comfortable I became. And I started to go out more and more. I became friends with everyone I worked with. I became comfortable going out to bars and clubs. I even began to look forward to going out!

The first time I went to a dance club, I was again terrified. I just wanted to get out of there. I wasn't a dancer, I didn't know how to dance, I had never danced before. I just sat there at a table away from the dancefloor, by myself because everyone else was dancing, and pretended to be texting on my phone. I felt like everyone in the place was looking at me and thinking what a loser I am. Then I decided to at least go stand by my friends on the dancefloor. Eventually, I got up the nerve to nod my head and tap my foot. Then gradually, as I became comfortable, I incorporated more movement. Before I knew it, I was dancing! And it was fun! I stopped caring about whether or not I could dance or if people were looking at me, and I just got caught up in the moment and enjoyed myself!

Now, I love dancing! I always want to go out and dance. I don't even drink, but I'll be the first person on the dance floor whenever I go out! ME! The guy who was a loner, anti-social, destined to be alone, wanted to kill myself... I NEVER imagined that I could be the guy enjoying himself out of the dance floor!

After a couple of years working at the restaurant, I became one of the veteran servers. The turnover rate is high in restaurants, so there is always new people coming in. Since I was friends with the people I worked with and talked to them, it kind of became "my element" and the new people who came in saw me as a cool, social guy.

An epiphany came to me one night when I was hanging out talking to a cute new hostess. We were talking, and she described herself as shy. I said "yeah, I'm really shy too." And she laughed and said "bullshit! You are NOT shy! You talk to EVERYBODY!"
When she said that, I stopped and thought about it. I realized that she was right. I was still thinking of myself as this shy loner, but in truth I was out dancing, laughing and joking with everyone, going to bars and clubs... I had become a totally different person, but I didn't even realize it until she pointed it out to me.

I had become more social, but I was still terrible with girls. I had managed to hook up with a few girls at work, because they saw me as a cool, fun guy. But, I always became needy and clingy and ruined it.

I discovered PUA after a failed relationship broke my heart, and I was desperate to find a way to get her back. I'm still not great with women, but I'm much better than I was before, and getting better every day. Every day, I try to learn and grow.

I'm also aware that nothing happened for me out of the blue. I made it happen. Everything was a choice that I made. I became more social and outgoing and made friends, but I made that happen by choosing to go out to the bar that night. I could have chosen to stay home and continue playing WoW, and I might not be alive today.
Nothing just magically happened. I had to learn it all and experience it all. I'm more social now, but I had to learn to be social. I'm better with women now, but I had to learn how to interact with women. I'm a positive thinker now, but I had to learn how to think positive.
And it's not an overnight thing, it's a process. I'm 33 now and still learning, still growing. I even sometimes still get down, but now I know I can change it. I had to learn that I am responsible for my own destiny, for everything that happens in my life. Bad things are going to happen, and everything isn't going to go the way I want it to, but I choose how I respond to those things.

You say: It doesn't make sense to you because you haven't experienced it, you don't know anything other than feeling like a loner. A line I love is "Does a goldfish know it's wet?" A goldfish doesn't know it's wet, because it doesn't know what it means to be dry. Wet is all a goldfish knows, so it doesn't think it is "wet," it is just "normal." Wet and dry are beyond the goldfish's comprehension. The same goes for you. You think of yourself as a "loner" and that is what is normal to you, because it's all you know. But, here is what I promise you: You ARE NOT a loner. If you were really a loner, then you would be happy being a loner. Since you aren't happy, and think about killing yourself, then it means a loner is not who you really are. It means that you have not yet discovered your true self. You are unhappy and want to kill yourself, because you are not living the life you were meant to live; you are not being the person you were meant to be.

I can also promise you this: You CAN become the person you were meant to be. But, you have to make the choice. You have to leave your comfort zone and experience new things in order to find out who you really are and what makes you happy. If it frightens you, do it anyway.

There is a lot of self-development information on this forum that can help you along your way. There is a list of self-help materials in one of the inner game forums. I strongly suggest and hope that you will read/listen to/watch those materials and make the conscious choice to turn your life around, find your true self, and want to live.

If you have questions, need help, need encouragement, whatever it may be. Just ask. Everyone on this forum is here to help one another.

Hey your for sure not alone. Many guys have been in the same position, many guys are in the same position, and many will be in that same position.

I'm 20 years old, haven't fucked much, I'm a loner too (though by choice I just think people are fake as hell). Most guys our age are not getting it in that to be honest. And be 21 years old and a virgin is not bad. The average age that people lose their virginity is 23. I have a cousin who is 21 about to turn 22 and he has only had sex once and it was three years ago.

You must remember that life isn't all about sex. I know it is hard trust me. This is part of why I am a loner and the only social interaction I have is with girls. Guys only try to talk about sex, reps, and how many women you have nailed. I remember when I was a virgin some of my friends would occasionally make fun of me for it. I had one friend who didn't really care, but he was a pua and would always talk about how he was getting it in while I was getting none. That would get me really depressed.

It gets better. You will have sex. I guarantee it. And sooner than you think. What you got to do is get an inner peace. And be okay with yourself. It is tough I know. But you have to get that and then be patient. You should read some self help books they can do wonders.

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Try to live your life like your dream is real

Also, remember that sex generally leads to bad things. Even Tyler Durden, king pimp pua extraordinaire, has a bunch of illegitimate kids born out of his flings with random hb's. Now he's gotta work the next 18 years to pay for them. Oh, and STD's you ask? I remember opening this 2 set and the one girl was a hb9...that is until I saw her lip. The shit on her lip had some SHIT on it's lip! Yep, it was herpes. And you know whoever her dude is either gave it to her, or he will be contracting it from her. The only sure fire way to avoid that stuff is by using condoms, which themselves, all but deaden the experience. So take your pick. Kids, Herps, or sensationless sex. When you look at it like that, you ain't missing much.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Just wanna say I've been there / am there?

My problem is I over think, I spend a lot of time by myself thinking instead of going out and talking to people. It leaves me in a place where I'm not happy unless I'm constantly moving (working, writing music, exercising cleaning etc)

What helps me is thinking of it this way if I'm gonna go out would I want to be remembered "as that guy that couldn't hack it" or something memorable (achieved something, had friends etc) fair enough I don't have that at the moment but I know that through work and dedication I can probably get to the point where I feel good about myself and hey even if I don't achieve that shit at least I went down swinging!

thanks guys

its good to know that there are others out there in life like me!!

anyway im gonna go and see a professional

but damn today i saw a fit girl on the bus to uni and it just seemed akward trying to talk to her, and i caught her having a glimpse at me? could i just approach with a " hi your fit, what are you studying" type attitude.

As above, my biggest problem is my approach anxiety, and i unconsciously have low self esteem(ie i like to believe that im confident but sometimes i look and feel very shy)

Yea, you ain't alone, and go get some help.

As far as that girl, don't just be like "You're fit." That's like telling a celebrity "You're TOM CRUISE!" They already know that about themselves and it makes you sound like a chump. You can, however, comment on her fitness. But say something like "I noticed that you are in really great shape, you must run decathalon's or something." Guess what? She won't be a decathlete and she'll laugh at that comment and correct you and more than likely tell you what she actually does. That sets you up for another joke you can tie in later when she asks you what you do, and you tell her "I'm a decathlete."

Of course, if by some odd chance she actually is a decathlete, it's game over. You have no choice but to punch her in gut and take off running.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

ROFLMFAO!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I just wrote this long post, and site wouldn't let me post it because of my link.

So....short version, youtube 'Your Brain on Porn', do it, maybe it well help you.

2 weeks in myself

Hey, (Im new to the forum so i quoted) You have to wake up every morning and see the day as an opportunity to try something new, something that excites you. You should set small goals for yourself so that when you achieve them you will feel happier. Give your self credit where credit is due! And mistakes you make are just learning opportunities. You are here, now, so you shall take your time and learn, no one is rushing go at your own pace. But take risks, do something unordinary from your day to day schedule, e.g., take a different path home, or go for a walk, ride a bike. It will open your eyes to a new world and you might see something you haven't seen before.
Understanding the depression, i have been there. Its hard and lonely. But small changes in your day to day life might help you.
Also something interesting if you don't know, diet has a big affect on the mind. Eat well, feel well.

You are great, don't sell yourself short. I hope something from what I said works for you.

Take Care,

Lively.

Like all the others man, nothing is worth pulling your own plug over.

There's nothing wrong with being a loner. Some women even dig that in a guy. But you shouldn't be a loner because you're depressed or feel like you're not worthy of fitting in. If you're a loner, make sure it's because you like yourself and you don't need a bunch of friends or women to pump up your ego.

Get yourself whatever help you need, and stick around this place. Yes, a lot of the material here is focused on helping you get laid, but getting laid never hurt a guy's self esteem, and besides that, there is a lot of other good stuff to help you become for comfortable and happy with yourself.

P.S. I think if you look around on here you will find a few guys here who readily admit to being in just as bad or worse shape as you are today, and they are alive and doing very well. They're probably the best ones here for you to follow. And if you do it right, it's likely maybe you'll be in their shoes later helping some other guy get to where you know they can go.

Best of luck and welcome to the community.