Im with you man, same struggles with flaking. It'l get better for the fearless direct nuts.
I guess something that might help you is getting real sexual with the girl. Verbally and physically
Shake her hand when meeting>touch her shoulder>kiss on the cheek>kiss
Verbal: Double entendres are good. If your direct, you probably abit fearless so don't apologize for being sexual. Try a question like: Have you tried anal? Nice to cunt..I mean meet you:]
Girls appreciate balls (pun intended)
Hope that helps man. Good luck
I agree that sexual escalation is key, but I feel with some women such as those whom are more prude, it could actually hinder chances of picking them up. I think pick-up is extremely situational and part of learning process incorporates figuring out the girl and determining what you can get away with.
Friday September 14, 2012
I played the “GO” game at the mall with my usual wingman. I managed to make about nine approaches. I the girl in which I first approach stated part way through the conversation that she had a boyfriend. She was younger, but we talked for like fifteen minutes before I just dismissed her. My next five approaches are so were blow outs where they just walk around me or said “no thank you” and kept it moving. I remember approaching a two set indirectly by commenting about one of their shirts. They just responded and kept walking. I probably should have just went direct there like I always do. So after numerous blow outs I open direct on a woman leaving some clothing store. She was friendly and I made a comment about her doing window shopping. She was friendly and open as we talked about everything. It was a one hour interaction (longest day game interaction ever for me). I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I did some light arm kino during the interaction. I also recall during the first three minutes of the interaction that she told me she had a boyfriend. I then asked her what it was like to be treated like a princess and get everything she wanted. I can't remember how she responded, but it worked out well for me. I did some cold reading, which worked favorably by telling her she's a girl who likes to party and is adventurous. She was four years older than me and we graduated from the same college. I remember qualifying her by telling her I don't like high-maintenance girls. I also qualified her when discussing what she did for a living and her future goals. I number closed her half way through the interaction. I also managed to somewhat set up a day two for the future. When she informed me that she likes pumpkin spice lattes I told her I would call her so I can try one with her and she seemed excited about it.
Friday September 21, 2012
I ended up partying hard at a major city and can recall going up to a two set and telling them they are stylish. I talked to one for a bit then focused on my target while my friends occupied the other one. She was friendly, but I did not go direct enough or have any form of sexual talk with her. I number closed her and this was a night approach in the street. I cannot recall attempting to game any other girls this night, but it was a fun night.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
I was suppose to meet up with a friend, but he had work until five so I killed time at the mall. I approached a girl sitting outside smoking a cigarette and just sat myself down following the direct opener and had small talk. She was boring and not showing any interest, eventually leading to her saying she has to go to class. My next approach was to a girl who was planning on returning kid's pants as she is a nanny. She was friendly, but shared that she was moving soon, which for some reason made me disinterested. I should have said “well hey lets meet up for a drink before you move out of state” or something, but instead just ejected. I se a girl sitting in the food court and just walk up to her and openly directly. She was flattered, but informed me she was waiting for her boyfriend. I called out the awkward situation and we both just laughed about it and I ejected. Another direct approach, the girl responded she was in a hurry and kept moving although I did everything right such as stopping her and being face to face. Now my final approach consisted of a direct opener as usual. I commented on her nails and a ring she was wearing as well as did kino. She stated she works in the mall and is on break and going to Starbucks for a drink. She told me I could join her if I want. I obviously complied and had an instant date. So we talked about school and shared stories. I teased her about being a party girl and qualified her about being younger than me. I would occasionally tell her she has nice eyes or call her hot, but nothing extremely sexual. I still need much improvement on demonstrating intent. Well we talked for about an hour because that is how long her break was. So I say we will have to do something again she agrees and gives me her phone to type in my information and call myself. I could not set something up with her because she stated she did not know her work schedule. Now here is where I made a big mistake. We hugged and her lips were about two inches from mine and I did not kiss her. I said something like “kiss?” and she just slowly turned away and said “no”. I should have just went for the kiss and not asked or at least said something like “your lips look soft I have to kiss you”. Really anything would have been better than asking. I can't believe I did such an AFC like move and it was quite a mood killer. Well this is why the whole process is a learning experience and going out in the field is the only way to improve. Obviously, I know how to handle a date and what I should be doing, but putting the thoughts into action is going to take time and practice.
Saturday September 29, 2012
I went to the bar and talked to one girl (my only approach). I did talk sexual and probably could have kiss closed, but I did not escalate in anyway other than my usual kino. We talked for an hour and I number closed. It turned out she was married with a kid (the picture of her kid was the background of her phone when I took the phone to plug my number in and call myself), but either way I am still disappointed at my lack of ability to sexually escalate here. I was not sober unfortunately, so I cannot recall details as this was a night out with numerous friends to have fun.
Thursday October 04, 2012
I ended up going to a college campus library after work to get homework done and it resulted in a direct approach to a girl sitting at a table alone doing homework. There were no spectators around either, which made it much easier for me. She actually seemed content to meet me and it ended up being a one hour conversation. She also is not a student at the particular college, but is studying for some post undergraduate exam. We talked about school, what we do for fun, and other basic fluff talk. I did not use kino or really escalate in any way. I think if I am going to start approaching girls at a college I will frequent for studying, it might be best to just build up my social circle and avoid immediate sexual escalation when I approach. I certainly should have qualified her more. Toward the end of the interaction I teased her for no longer seeming to be as fun of a person as she was while in college. I told her I would contact her when I plan some fun events. She gave me her phone and I called myself. I plan to frequent this college after work because the library is open late. This will likely result in approaches being made and I would like to try many different types of approaches her to see what does and does not work.
Here is the first 10 minutes of the interaction. The recorder I use is cheap but it gets the job done. It will only work on quiet approaches so the library was perfect for the initial test. The interaction was boring and I was able to hear myself for the first time. I really lacked qualifying and teasing her. I got bored myself re-listening to this interaction. Definitely much improvement is needed, but this is my first library or quiet venue approach and I was unable to go as direct as I would have liked seeing as I will likely be seeing her at this particular library often Feel free to offer any advice. Again, criticism is encouraged, but I would prefer it be constructive criticism.
Saturday October 06, 2012
I went to the bookstore to get some homework done and I managed to approach one girl leaving. She was on her way to work and I opened her directly. We basically fluff talked the entire time. I did not qualify her much or get sexual at all. I also did not show intent. However, I did do a little bit of kino. Eventually, she stated she had to go to work so I just number close, gave her a hug, and we separated. I saw another girl at the bookstore, but she looked young and the tables surrounding her were full of people so I kind of bitched out. My only other opportunity happened to quickly for me to react. I turned the corner at the grocery store and this women saw me quickly and preceded. It happened so fast that I failed to open.
I went to the bar later that night with friends at night and only opened a couple of two sets. It was mainly fluff talk. After listening to my interaction from October 04, 2012 and today's interaction I now realize that I need to do more qualifying and sexual qualifying. I also need to show intent following my opener. I need to keep fluff talk to a minimum and spread it out throughout my interactions.
Monday October 08, 2012
I was off today for Columbus Day and decided to sarge at a college campus. I managed to record just about every interaction, but will only post a few here. Today was quite the learning experience. I used my new recorder for the second time. I managed to re-listen to my interactions when I got back home and have come to the realization that my interactions are boring. I would play the recording and stop it after she responded to one of my questions to see what I could have said or done differently during the interaction as a self-reflection technique. I talk way too much and too fast during my interactions. I need to use better qualifiers and add more humor. I need to tease them and reward them when they qualify themselves to me. I noticed that they rarely ever ask me questions and the only way they would know about me is if I disclose information to them voluntarily, but this could be because I talk so much and bombard them with nonsense questions. I feel like I am trying to hard to impress them, which is extremely contradictory in the way gaming should be done. I need to slow down during the interaction and while they talk I need to come up with better questions or responses so I rush into saying something ineffective with respect to game. I also need to talk more about sex and getting sexual, but I am clearly not ready for that point yet. Here are a few of the interactions that have decent sound quality and again, feedback is highly encouraged.
Youtube Clips (the dude in the youtube picture is not me; it's just a random day game picture I found):
This was my first interaction of the day and was really just a warm up. The interaction is only 1min and 37sec long, but youtube plays the video twice for some reason.
This was a decent interaction that ended up being 25 minutes long in total and she took my number. This particular girl was fairly easy to talk to and she was genuinely nice. When this girl disclosed she went on vacation with her family, I should have rewarded her by telling her I like girls who are family oriented. I like the qualifier I used telling her I think nurses are overly nice and may lose the thrill in life, but she responded by agreeing, which is odd. When she talked about apartments and suites I should have made a cold read and stated she wouldn't be able to survive in an apartment because you have to know how to cook (this would have went into a more interesting topic). Instead I preceded with fluff talk. When she told me she swims every day I should have said something other than telling her I suck at swimming.
This particular girl was very nice and easy going. The interaction ended up being an 1hour and 15minutes in total with me number closing and telling her will meet up for pumpkin spice lattes.
This approach went no where. When she talked about a hot dog place I should have asked her if the sold big or little wieners there, then told her I have a big wiener lol. I was generally being boring here with fluff talk. I did not try to number close her.
I was about to leave at this point and decided to try something stupid. So I borrowed simple pickup's opener here about “big butts” and actually number closed her. She was in a hurry to meet with a professor, which did not allow me to build any rapport. When she stated she likes how her friend feeds her; I should have teased her or made some other comment about her cooking abilities.
This was another 25 minute interaction in which we exchanged numbers. She eventually disclosed that she has a boyfriend, but is willing to party with me and my friends.This was primarily my fault because I did not show any intent whatsoever, which is another idea I need to improve on. Again I am talking way to fast here and not giving her a chance to respond. I sound nervous and as if I am worrying too much about outcome of the interaction. I asked some decent questions, but I need to slow down and not throw so many questions at her. When she answers my questions I need to reward her and take time to think of funny responses while she chats away.
OK bro. I guess I'll go through this here in your thread as opposed to PM. Seems like it might as well be seen publicly in case others want to hear some opinions.
Like I said in my PM to you, you come across very normal, have good voice tone, seem like a regular guy. I'd probably grab a beer with you, which is not something I can say about many guys in this. I think that alone is huge.
Now here's the thing on this one. I don't think you really did anything wrong or that there is too much to improve. Sure you could have made the conversation about college or whatever a bit more fun or a bit more meaningful but I think the difference would have been minimal. It's probably just a case of the girl not being into you or genuinely being in a big hurry, which is always an issue in day game.
Now I can't see anything so maybe your body language and posture is all fucked up but I doubt it since your voice is confident and strong. But more importantly, I can't see her but so its hard to tell if she was not into you or was just genuinely in a hurry. And I guess that brings me to my only real piece of advise for this one and that is this:
When she says she's gotta go, step up to the plate. At this point, its now or never and this is the only way you have of knowing if she's not into you or really just has to get on with her day. So throw out the Hail Mary, but be flirty about it:
"OK, but hold on one second, I can't let you just leave like that, I'm not quite done flirting with you/I haven't had a chance to completely charm you yet/I don't know if you can tell, but the two of us are having a moment right now. [little playful smirk]." Anything like that.
Flirting is my newest obsession in day game. Its basically cutesy escalation.
If she sticks around after you say something like that, she's into you. You can kick a few more sentences at her to read the situation a little more. If she is genuinely in a hurry, just say "OK, I know you've got things to do, so let's plan to grab a drink later this week, you free Thursday?" (If I'm free that same evening, I will go for that option first, but this is rare for me).
If she says she's busy, just arrange for "another time." In either case, grab the number and give her a lighthearted goodbye. Conversely, if you gather that she's not really in a hurry or that she is free soon (like after dropping things off at her dorm) try to insta-date her or accompany her while she finishes up and then hang out. Always try to hang out as soon as both of your schedules' allow.
Oh and I don't like the drama queen statement. Probably a little bit of a harsh thing to say to a girl in day game where you aren't really having an over-the-top type of interaction like you would in night game. I'm not big on things like that in any case but I guess they work for some.
Wednesday October 10, 2012
I made one approach at the grocery store. I went direct and she just stated she was in a hurry and walked away from me.
Thursday October 11, 2012
I actually initiated an INDIRECT conversation. I went to the library to do homework and a girl sat down at the table across from me. After about thirty minutes she stood up and started packing up. I opened with “your done already?” This led to her telling me what she was studying for, her major, where she's from, what she does for fun, what's her future goals are, and some talk about parties. I told her about a good website for halloween costumes and she shared that she would check it out when she gets home. She stated she may have a party for her birthday a few days before halloween. I told her she seemed cool and we exchanged numbers. The interaction was about twenty-five minutes long and I plan to follow up via-text asking her what costume she decided on. Probably send a cold read type of text regarding a costume. Overall it was a pretty warm interaction and given the circumstances and the type of opener I used; I did not escalate sexually in any manner at all. However, I did do some decent qualifying and I did not talk very loud or fast given the quiet environment we were in.
OK bro. I guess I'll go through this here in your thread as opposed to PM. Seems like it might as well be seen publicly in case others want to hear some opinions.
Like I said in my PM to you, you come across very normal, have good voice tone, seem like a regular guy. I'd probably grab a beer with you, which is not something I can say about many guys in this. I think that alone is huge.
Now here's the thing on this one. I don't think you really did anything wrong or that there is too much to improve. Sure you could have made the conversation about college or whatever a bit more fun or a bit more meaningful but I think the difference would have been minimal. It's probably just a case of the girl not being into you or genuinely being in a big hurry, which is always an issue in day game.
Now I can't see anything so maybe your body language and posture is all fucked up but I doubt it since your voice is confident and strong. But more importantly, I can't see her but so its hard to tell if she was not into you or was just genuinely in a hurry. And I guess that brings me to my only real piece of advise for this one and that is this:
When she says she's gotta go, step up to the plate. At this point, its now or never and this is the only way you have of knowing if she's not into you or really just has to get on with her day. So throw out the Hail Mary, but be flirty about it:
"OK, but hold on one second, I can't let you just leave like that, I'm not quite done flirting with you/I haven't had a chance to completely charm you yet/I don't know if you can tell, but the two of us are having a moment right now. [little playful smirk]." Anything like that.
Flirting is my newest obsession in day game. Its basically cutesy escalation.
If she sticks around after you say something like that, she's into you. You can kick a few more sentences at her to read the situation a little more. If she is genuinely in a hurry, just say "OK, I know you've got things to do, so let's plan to grab a drink later this week, you free Thursday?" (If I'm free that same evening, I will go for that option first, but this is rare for me).
If she says she's busy, just arrange for "another time." In either case, grab the number and give her a lighthearted goodbye. Conversely, if you gather that she's not really in a hurry or that she is free soon (like after dropping things off at her dorm) try to insta-date her or accompany her while she finishes up and then hang out. Always try to hang out as soon as both of your schedules' allow.
Oh and I don't like the drama queen statement. Probably a little bit of a harsh thing to say to a girl in day game where you aren't really having an over-the-top type of interaction like you would in night game. I'm not big on things like that in any case but I guess they work for some.
Great Advice! I agree with everything except the bold. My analysis are usually body language orientated so it's hard for me to give a full report.
Remember the hardest part about getting girls is gaining their interest enough to suck them into a conversation, you are doing very well here. That is it after that most women will become attracted with some good rapport tactics and you being confident. You sound very confident so I wouldn't worry about that area.
I want to re-infer flirting though.
Give her shit bro, flirt, have fun, joke. Women will like you if you make them smile, I can hear smiles and laughs in their voices at a lot of moments so you aren't doing bad. I tend to give people shit, going over the top is fine if you pay close attention to their reaction. If she gets offended you can include yourself, "People say I'm a drama queen because....."
-"I killed a guy for lookin' at me funny."
-"I whined about a (whatever) for 4378 minutes straight."
-"I wave my hands like this when I get really upset." (wave your hands over dramatically)
It really doesn't matter your goal is to say something stupid and unexpected to keep it interesting, nonthreatening, and funny. You will become even more attractive to her.
More witty talk is something I'd highly recommend, make her laugh by misconstruing how she says things(give her shit). I tend to read their body language and emotion at the time she is saying something as well.
It's hard to go sexual in day game but look for opportunities. You don't have to say something sexual you can just kind of pause and look at them at that moment and smile or laugh. Make reference to it with your body language but don't say anything.
That said you aren't doing bad regardless of these tips these women sound interested. Make sure to keep being the confident you, these women enjoy that guy. If it isn't in your personality to say shit like that don't, it happens to be a part of mine.
The hardest part of courtship (for men) is getting in the conversation you are doing just fine in that aspect, your confidence in yourself sounds good. You are building genuine connections with these women. They are answering your questions and it isn't short hand. They are engaging in the conversation and giving back to it. This makes day 2s a lot easier because you connected on many levels.
If you want more let me know.
Peace and Love,
Vic
_________________ Just another guy from back in the day.
Hey man. Ok, I had a chance to listen to those approaches you got on youtube. What sort of device did you use to record those out of curiosity?
Like I said in PM, I'm certainly no guru, so take what I say with a grain of salt just as another dude's opinion. But to me, they sounded good.
You sound pretty confident, friendly, and it seems you know how to hold a conversation, which is definitely a good thing. What's also good is that you seem to be able to relate to them on certain things like high schools they went to, cities/towns that they're from, or places they go to hang. These are all great things for building a bit of comfort or common ground.
Listening to your conversations remind me a lot like my own that I have with girls at the school, so I think that anything I suggest for improvements to you could also apply to me as well.
Like me, you could be a little more flirty or show a bit more sexual intent, even if it's just a comment or two, or a subtle hint here and there of what your intentions are. You could be seen as just a friendly guy that's chatting them up because like me you end up covering a lot of the same general, friendly-type topics. And I suppose there's nothing wrong with that in day game, because after all you are trying to get to know her, so you'll need to talk about 'fluff' type things to a certain extent. I realize that some conversations weren't recorded in full, so I'm only hearing the first 10 minutes of them.
But I think overall you seemed to do quite well, and also props for going direct.
The one thing that I didn't really like, and this is just me, is that I'm not really a big fan of 'negs'. The few that stood out to me were where you called that one girl a 'drama queen', and the other one where you said "you look really run down". Now I can't see her and how she reacted to that, or I obviously can't see her body language, eye contact or mannerisms after you said that, but at least to me, that could come across as insulting. I realize to an extent that's what negs are for, but it's just my personal opinion that most of the time they're not really used effectively and they don't help all that much, and in some cases, can work against you.
That's not to say be over the top polite and kiss her ass, but I just think telling someone they look really run down could just make them feel bad or they could just get defensive or self conscious and not want to talk to you. I just try to put myself in her place, and imagine someone saying similar things to me. For me, it would be an insult and I would probably feel like either saying something back to the person, or just walking away. But like I said, that's just me, and I know lots of other guys like negs and seem to think they're effective.
I'm also not too sure about that "I like big butts" one. I think you said that's an opener you got from this site. So the way I see it, if the girl you said that to actually had a big ass, that would be quite a put down, unless she happened to be one of those chicks that likes her 'big booty'. But to me, at least the way that I am, I'd see that as an insult. It's like walking up to a chick and calling her fat. But yeah, that's just another example of negs that I don't really like.
But I'm not really sure what else that I can say that hasn't been already said by DB or from the other comments that you've got. But other than the neg thing, I think all those conversations were really good. And like me, if you work on getting a big more flirty and displaying more sexual intent, then you'll be well on your way to some better game. You've got a strong foundation from which to work, and with a bit of refinement, you'll be doing well for yourself I'm sure.
Tuesday October 15, 2012
I pulled in at the gas station and saw a cute girl at the pump on the other side of the station. So I went and approached her directly. We were only able to talk for about three minutes because there was a car behind hers. I left my phone in my car so she gave me her phone and I sent myself a text. It ended up being a flake, but I did not have enough time to chat her up and I did not show any intent or set anything up with her. I remember Sash stating in one of his videos that if you cannot identify three interesting things about the girl you number close; it will be a flake. Overall, it was a poor approach. I number closed, but failed to build a connection or demonstrate any intent, which are both vital. I also think I may have been asking a lot of pointless questions and talking too quickly and too much. I still have a lot of work to do to get over my sticking points.
Thursday October 18, 2012
I was at the store seeking a Halloween costume and I ended up making one direct approach. She was a bit uneasy at first, but then became more relaxed. We fluff talked, but the weird vibe she was giving from the beginning of the interaction prevented me from escalating. I just told her it was nice meeting her and ejected as she had to go to soccer practice.
Friday October 19, 2012
I stopped at the mall after work to grab food and I saw an attractive woman eating along in the food court. I tell her I think she’s adorable and ask her if I can accompany her during dinner. She complies and I played it safe in this interaction by primarily fluff talking with her. We both go to the same bar in the area sometimes so we exchanged numbers and I told her I would let her know the next time I end up going.
I went out at night and really wanted to put my sticking points to the test with respect to intent and sexual escalation. I really only made one approach and my hands were on her waist within a few minutes. We fluff talked, but I through in random cold reads and sexual questions. I would tell her she seems like a romantic type of girl and ask a question such as “what’s your favorite sex position”. I should have kissed her within a few minutes, but we were out in the open and the place was not crowded, which prevented me from such advancement. She eventually stated she had to find her friends. We exchanged numbers and I ejected, but I did not set up a future meet up, which is another sticking point of mine.
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