I recently got divorced out of an almost 8 yr marriage and 13 yr relationship. She met a friend online and the rest is history! Things are well with me. I kept my toys and the house. The house is cleaner than its ever been. At this point in my life I've got a successful career and the things that I want. Her timing was good (for me!). The marriage really came as a result of being AFC at the time I think.

To set up proper expectations, I should note that I have mixed feelings about where to go from here. My ultimate goal is another LTR. I'm not even all that excited (yet) about picking up numerous HBs. I've pulled two so far in two months and both are still coming around. Both are HB6 though and I want to move on to more interesting things.

For those in similar circumstances as me, I figured I'd post my successes and failures along the way.

I learned I was getting divorced in July and it went final in August. Immediately I found this forum and other great resources on the net. Having always exhibited beta behavior in the social scene, I knew I had to start working on things immediately. I had always exhibited beta behaviors in social scenes, particularly with more attractive ladies.

So while I was waiting for the divorce to go final, I was already working on improving my interactions. Flirting with waitresses is a pretty safe activity and I set a goal of simply opening and then listening. It really is true! They love to just talk and talk. In fact when you get them going you really can't get a word in about yourself anyway. This exends in a big way to some more recent events I'll post about later.

The day my ex moved out, I received a FB message from a girl I've known for 20 years. I was friend zoned back in the day (although I did cross over and get some action). I was determined not to be friend zoned again. She is also going through a divorce and so we planned to get together and catch up. I just happen to have a boat in a slip so the plan was set to hang out there and have some drinks. Things happened and the meeting was delayed almost a week. I decided to run a text game on her during this time. I went sexual from the first message. After four days of that fun, she showed up with an overnight bag. The expectation was already set up by going sexual early. The boat was rocking that night! That first couple of weeks she might as well have been an HB9.

Having been through several years of a sexless marriage, she was amazing. Stepping back now though, she is really HB6. Mostly because of baggage and emotional issues, otherwise would give her HB7. I made a huge mistake of telling her I wanted to go exclusive (sexually) early on. I'm working on that exit now and I think I've succeeded in getting her to lose a lot of interest. Things have cooled off a lot in the past two weeks. I have a new one I'm playing with now...

So #2 I met at a car show of all places. She is cute but reminds me of my ex's build so she only gets a HB6 as well. I wasn't interested in another HB6 so I resisted but also was eager to try out more things I've learned from the PUA community. That night we played pool and had a late dinner. In the parking lot I went for a K Close and she almost raped me on the spot. This after she was made well aware of HB6 #1. Still she was coming over to see me almost nightly. I finally decided to F close her (I don't know if you can call that a close after a week!). So now I have broken my exlusive agreement with #1 and feel bad because I don't like that sort of thing. But #1 was flaking anyway and that's why I went for the F with #2.

But I've got my sights set on #3, 4 5 and 6 right now. I would like to have at least 10 or 15 I could call to go out with. Sex is less important right now, as long as I have one or two available for it. I was actually really fun to resist #2 for a week. I haven't been back yet either. As I've said, I'm looking at HB8's and HB9's and that's what I would like to wake up to.

I'll post up some various interactions I've had soon... off to breakfast for now!

To bring you up to date on what I've experienced so far, I will just give a condensed version. Because of the two HBs I've been playing with, I really haven't done many approaches in the couple of months I've had available. I would really like to get comfortable with cold approaches. One of my goals is to set a number of approaches to make in a certain period of time, as many of you have done.

Most of my practice approaches and openers have been with waitresses. Until recently I stuck to safer ground, such as waitresses I've always found attractive but I was married.. Well, the divorce is an auto-opener in many cases because they ask why she hasn't been with me lately. This has resulted in some pretty convenient situations with two waitresses I've had the hots for. Both are HB7 although I considered one an HB8 until she started opening up to me. Now that the facade is down, she isn't so perfect. Both of these HB's are around 30 years old.

The HB8 that turned into HB7 I will call Xray due to her day job. She opened me by asking where my wife was. I gave her the story and she told me to come in on such & such night when she would be working again. From there it has turned into a pretty interesting weekly event, where other waitresses have warmed up to me and sit at my table to chat. One is an HB5 and only 19. Nothing to lose, I was able to easily FB close her. A newer one is HB7 and I have yet to talk to her, but she seems intrigued by my drawing of the others and waved to me in the parking lot last time I was there. Xray is engaged but only refers to him as her fiance and never by a name.

The other HB7 works across town. I have also always had a crush on her. She is not quite an 8 but very attractive. Has a kid and some kind of boyfriend was mentioned a long while back. She has seen one of my deals and knows about the divorce thing. I see her about once or twice a week and turned up the flirting. She seems to respond well. I would love to close her but it could be awkward if she turns me down because I get lunch there so often (no choice due to location and jobsites). Should I even care? I guess this is a case where I really need to study IOI's and start reading the target more.

My proudest moment so far is with this HB9 that works at my city's utility department. She is so hot that my ex told me about her and said there is a new woman for you at the water department! Sure enough this is one super attractive HB. She has the most amazing hazel eyes I've ever seen. They look like contacts because of the color range. It's an awkward bill paying window with a small hold to talk through, three other people in her office and noisy customers in the next line over. I went to pay my bill and the HB2 called me over to her window. Drat! So I did get to talk to the HB9 when I switched the water account over to my name from my ex's.

So they end up mis-reading my water bill (like thousands of dollars!) this month. I called to get a re-read and the HB9 answered. I told her something to the effect of you are pretty and it almost makes me look forward to coming in to pay my water bill, but not enough to make it worth $3000! She lol'd and sent them for the reread. I heard nothing so I stopped by this week. Her line was open so I went up. She rememebred me from the call. When she pulled up my meter history she was explaining about the various misreads. I cut her off mid-sentence to put in a neg. I said your eyes are amazing... are those really your eyes or are they contacts? This got the most amazing eye to eye stare I think I've ever felt and she said "they are mine!". I cannot describe in words how pretty those eyes were! I have to admit I was not looking for IOI's because it was difficult to see much of her through the little hole. She is younger - probably 23-24 range. If I left any sort of impression I would expect IOI's next month. If none I guess I will drop that idea!

And to wrap up this first series of posts, a few more thoughts...

I watched a series of videos about body language. You know the drill, no folding up.. keep hands out of your pockets as much as possible.. stand proud etc. It was discussed how this no only projects an image, but it also affects your inner game. And I have to say, it most certainly has made me feel more confident already.

So last night I was at a street event with live music, streets closed off etc. A new friend of mine was with me and he is a great Alpha that doesn't AMOG his wings. We had a great time sifting through all of the HB3's for the occasional HB8's! For my part, I pushed myself to make eye contact and not break it with any HB7+ of legal age. At the same time I smiled (sincerly since I was just having a great time anyway). The response was positive from all of them. Some really lit up. I'm not sure why I have traditionally not done this properly! I could have made two approaches based on the responses. One even walked back past and she was low 20's. I gotta amp up my game soon! LOL

Yesterday I stopped by a Waffle House that is on the way to my main job site. A new girl (HB7) is there and she has a young Jennifer Anniston look going. I'm sure she was low 20's and me being 41 is always in the back of my head. It probably doesn't (or shouldn't) matter but that is something I'll have to sort out in time.

She responded well to my eye contact and smiles, maintaining eye contact back to me and smiling readily. She was not my server but she did stop by the table twice to ask if I needed anything. I managed to catch her eyes a number of times while she was talking to other employees etc.

Of course I didn't open her. She did cash me out and I made a somewhat failed attempt at a joke. She asked if I was ready and I said 'not really, because leaving means I'm going to work!'. It was really just negging myself. What I should have said is something more like 'To go out with you?' or 'To ask for your number?'.. but these seem too direct for someone I didn't open dialog with. She sure is a cutey though. Somewhat unsure of how to open her but when I go back there next week I will somehow.

I followed up at the Waffle House (food was not good!) and she was not there. I am trying not to focus on individual girls anyway but would like to see how she responds to me.

Today I went to a Halloween store and ran into this HB9 P.A. from my mother's doctor's office. I'm fairly certain she is married. My mother is 82 so we end up there often. This PA has worked with her a couple of times but I guess I haven't seen her since June or July. I was 90% certain it was her. I was with a friend of mine so I wanted to impress him anyway, so I went straight over to her and said hello with a smile. She responded nicely but didn't really stop and give IOI's. Still, I pressed and said you are from such & such clinic. She said yes I am, are you a patient there? I then described my mother and she recognized me. I ended it with a nice to see you and moved on.

So, on one hand, since she didn't recognize me immediately I'd say I was never a blip on her radar. But on the other she is married. Mainly I had only the goal of opening her and I accomplished it. It was very easy. Yes it helped that I recognized her, but she is good looking and I had no way of knowing her response. In my mind, I will try to tell myself that any good looking lady is someone I already know/recognize. It sure takes some of the pressure off.

Cold approach #1 has been completed! A friend of mine is a financial advisor and held a seminar, to which I was invited. One of the main reasons I went was to expose myself to some new faces, with the hopes of seeing an HB or two. As soon as I walk in I noticed a blonde HB7 in the group of about 25 people. We made immediate eye contact and exchanged smiles. Further eye contact (which I rolled off from first, stupidly) My mission was set. I must talk to her.

During the one hour presentation she was asked a question about income brackets for the top 25% of us residents. While most people were wildly off with their numbers, she was very close (like I was). I gave a long, approving smile to her answer (she seemed giddy to this) when the advisor congradulated her using Ms [lastname]. I wrote her last name down. An HB with good financial sense? This really motivated me and gave me an easy opener.

At the end of the presentation, everyone just sat or stood around chatting for a few. Now was my chance, but now the HB is boxed in! My friend (the presenter/advisor)'s wife turns out to be close friends with HB and was chatting away with her. After about five minutes, she got up to talk to someone else. Now was my chance! Another friend if mine I haven't seen in a while was there and standing by the HB's table. I went to talk to him, but as I arrived he got boxed by another person. I looked down at the open chair and dove right in.

Now committed, and not very nervous, I opened her with Ms lastname, I didn't get your first name. She gave it and I introduced myself and shook her hand. I was impressed at your answer and had to come over and say hello. I was curious about her background, which ended up not having a lot to do with financial anything. She was just nicely aware of economic reality. She asked about my work, which I answered with minimum words. At this point I was satisfied with my effort. I probably could have carried the conversation further, but I'd rather invest that effort on HB8+. I already have these two HB6 in love with me and don't need more future tire slashers. And I was late for my dinner plan to see Xray girl. And of course there is the whole friend of a friend thing, so she could track me down easily now if the mood struck her.

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HB7 Xray from the above posts was working last night, so I went in for a steak dinner. For the first time I am getting comfortable enough with these ladies to watch for IOI's. She was totally displaying IOI's. Conversation went well. Her fiance is trying to get a job at one of my clients' place of business. She dropped a bombshell 'joke' about throwing him out if he doesn't get a better job. I tried to latch on to this opportunity to put an image of her and me together, but I flaked on the early approach. You know, something about I'd better get him this job or I'm gonna end up taking you out when you dump him (to be said as a joke of course). Later I did end up saying something like that but the timing was wrong. I got his name and told her I'm going to talk to my bud in HR to see if I can get him on the fast track. I figure at minimum it is a DHV if the call comes. And I don't mind helping out another human. Best case, he washes and and she dumps him, then remembers my DHV LOL

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Jeez this got long.. sorry!

It's interesting that many girls grow to dislike the qualities of the man that made her fall in love in the first place. Some girls marry serious, quiet guys then 10 years later, complain that they never go out. Other girls marry party animals then 10 years later, complain that all the guy does is party. . .

It looks like you're off to the races . . .

Just a few tips:

You're a "pouncer", meaning you just kinda act nice around the girls, have a chat, maybe offer some compliments, look for IOI's and then when you feel the vibes, you pounce the "how about we go out?"

How about instead leading conversations towards actual goals?

I. You can trust me.

To every girl you meet, you're a stranger. You could be a serial killer or you could end up being her neighbor she hasn't met yet. You'll want to gain her trust early and get it out of the way. Schools you've been to, work you've done, places you've been, people you know. . . there's got to be some commonalities. See . . .when girls do that "Ohhhhh! You know _____ too!" - this happiness doesn't necessarily come from some inherent pleasure girls gain from learning that you get served by the same bartender every Friday night. It's really just a big relief to discover that you're a normal person.

II. Go to her Happy Place.

A happy person is more open minded and much more receptive to other positive emotions. Chat about holidays, vacations, exotic spots, the beach, etc . . . Offer her a fantasy topic.

III. The fantasy is here and now.

It's strange to transition from a chat about the weather to, "Let's go out!" So you'll want to bridge the fantasy topic to a tangible adventure. It's actually pretty funny but you can bring the same level of interest and emotional high she had for the 'fantasy topic' to even the most boring date ideas. For instance, if you were chatting about a a holiday in Laos (Or any other exotic holiday), you chat about some coffee that a local kid hand poured. Then you go, "Strangely enough, the local starbucks does that too if you ask. . . " What does she say, "No way. . . seriously?"

IV. It's not so much a pounce but a nudge.

Once you go through the flowchart and achieve these steps, you'll realize that women essentially invite themselves. So you just nudge them for contract information and that's it.

*We're participating in a forum with a membership base of 19 year olds. You will often see posts that recommend you talk to girls as if you're a horny 19 year old. Look . . . a man doesn't behave like a horny 19 year old monkey. The moment you see her at the date, you give her a hug, a peck on the cheek, you hold her hand and lead her around like she's your baby sister. Men are verbal. . . we want verbal agreements, understandings, and contracts. On the other hand, women will say one thing or another but will do whatever the hell their mind/heart/emotions tell them to do at any particular moment. Cater to the ways of the woman.

Great thread and all the best with your new life.

Thanks guys.. Great tips kasabi. I can already see where I should have brought up our relationship to the host of the event. It would have built more comfort in up front. It was more or less implied that we were all friends of his though, since the invitations were limited to his Facebook friends. In this case I just elected to get out while things were under control. I'll just have to meet more ladies and keep pressing onward, armed with this sort of knowledge!

Just as an add-on note to this HB7 last night... another friend knows her pretty well. It turns out she comes from a very wealthy family. He said that 7 was really a 9 because of that and thusly I did a great job.

Tonight's plan... a Jazz Festival downtown!

Yeah great post. I don't have sympathy for you I have empathy. Also back from a divorce and i am having more sex now then all my 10 year of being a good man combined. Keep growing and remember that LTR start with STR.

_________________
Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

Thanks sir! I think I'm already doubled my sex for the year in the past two months. Crazy but true.

Tonight at this Jazz Festival I was in observation mode. My goal was to spot alpha males. Out of several hundred people there, only a handful of the ladies were HB8+. Every single one of those was with an alpha male if she was with a male.

Amongst the alphas, most were relatively similar in dress (button up shirt, nice shoes, clean cut). Two went for a more stand-out look. One was an old biker and his woman who was probably 70 but had a better body than most 30 year olds. The other was more of an artist look. His girl was HB7 or 8 in looks, but she was moving non-stop to the music. She seemed very fun if you know what I mean.

Another thing I was looking for were AFC's. I saw a few beta acting ones and then just the usual AFCs. I wanted to grab the beta ones and straighten them out! Don't stand like that! Stop looking down!

Tonight was a big success, as I was once again able to observe and learn. Things I read about every day on this forum were there for the looking. AFC behavior, Alpha appearance, etc. People watching is becoming yet another hobby of mine.

Yeah I know. When I go out to the hunting grounds I like to sit back and watch the AFC's and Alpha. There is a sea of Less then men.

_________________
Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

Oct 23, 2012

I'm debating on making these updates in a format like I've seen with other field report threads. I like the idea of a goal/accomplished count. For now I'll throw the date in because it is easier to see in post than on the post info.

I don't have much to post about since the last update. I had planned on going out this weekend but ended up being sick and also worn out from a busy week, so I just took it easy at home. Also my two current HB's kept me busy. On Thursday night I went to see #2. On Sunday night #1 came and stayed. That means #1 has agreed to a FWB status since I told her last week that this was now certain to be a friends only situation. And #2 already knows the drill, although she told me Thursday that she has 'fallen' for me even though 'you told me not to because you don't want a girlfriend'. So right now I have backed off from her a bit, but I'm very bored tonight so....

As for field action, almost none. I've been very busy with some jobs and end up worn out by evening. I finally went out for dinner tonight. The waitress was HB7, nice body but slightly weathered face. I guess she's 30's with a 20's body. I just wasn't in the mood to try anything. That said, I still just had to make her laugh a few times. At the end of the dinner I paid with cash, but I was $1 short with my small money and ended up giving her another $20. I made the comment that I was a dollar bill short of not needing change, to which she said no one seems to use cash these days. I told her I recently started using it often, to which she said ahhh strip clubs and all. I said yes! The pay sucks though, they only pay in $1's and its hard to get $20's unless I work really hard and I'm too lazy to work that hard all the time and usually end up with all these $1's.

It was a funny ending but the fun started at the wrong end of the session! Oh well, fun interaction none-the-less. The other HB's were all low 20's and I didn't catch any good eye contact the whole night... well except for one HB7 and some much older HB's that were of no interest.

Told you I didn't have much to say!

Seems to me that you already know how to schedule your life. . .

The guys that I try to push to form a plan-strategy-task schedule are the guys who don't have a habit for doing anything on a regular basis/schedule. They won't do something or will 'forget' to do something and will have the perfect excuse every time.

At this rate, you're going to start juggling a lot of girls and events. I'd at the very least keep a running list of chicks and where you stand with them, just as you did with your last post. It might seem silly now but it could save you from a lot of headache later.