Facebook add



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 Post subject: Facebook add
PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 3:09 pm 
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Guys, there's this girl in my class who's name i know because she practically gave it to me, by writing it in big letters in her book while i was sitting behind her and then later taking up a notebook with the name printed on it in BIG letters just to put it on the desk so I could clearly see her name (was that an IOI?).
Now i haven't talked to her (what a whimp i am) and we don't have any mutual friends as I am completely new in this city, who can introduce us. I was thinking of adding her, but then it crossed my mind that i would come across as a reaaaal creep by doing so but i really want to get in touch with her so should i add and approach via face and then start talking to here next time I see her or should i wait until I've talked to her in person?
Problem with approaching in person is that i haven't caught her alone as she's always with a group of friends and so am I, and I just don't have it in my to approach her in front of all her friends and mine.
I think I should add that I am a good looking guy, probably even the best looking in that class so she won't be scared away because of my looks.
Another thing is that the whole "create an attraction" thing seems to be about not showing your interested, and then later show interest. Wouldn't I be showing a hell of a lot of interest by adding her?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:01 pm 
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Do not add her. In fact, I encourage you to never add any female.

Have a conversation with her first, get her phone number or e-mail even... but not her facebook.

GET HER TO ADD YOU.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:07 pm 
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Cool, thanks!!
Even sending a message through face without adding is a no-go?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 12:00 am 
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Quote:
Cool, thanks!!
Even sending a message through face without adding is a no-go?
Yeah, I wouldn't. I"ve had the situation where a girl in my class has found me without me giving her any IOI's, no names nothing and she sent me a message saying 'hey, your that cute guy in my class!', and despite that it still came off really creepy.

Part of me doesn't agree with the 'never add a girl' theory, because at times I think it's unnecessary / a good idea. But it's very situation dependent and unfortunately this ins't one of those situations.

Best bet is to just run some regular game with her during / before / after class. Get in a convo. Even just a small conversation these days normally grants a Facebook friend request (even better if you have a 'coincidental' way to 'find her' on Facebook. Ie. Mutural friends, class room group ect.'. Then prehaps you could follow up with a message that relates to a thread you had in conversation that day.

Normally, if you going to send the message this works well. Then they'll always end up adding you.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 06, 2012 2:59 am 
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I'm curious about the responses here. I'm sure everyone has been friend requested by a girl from school or from anywhere who they didnt know well or didnt even talk to before. You go to the same school and have the same classes. You arent a random stranger to her, she has seen you before. What's so wrong with sending a friend request?

Maybe it's because I am from a small town, but girls friend requested me in school who I'd never talked to before so I dont see a problem with it being the other way around. ??


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:42 am 
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but please, if you ain't gonna talk to her, add her!

sometimes we think too much about game and don't do what the regular guy would.. and this way the chances die anyway.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:33 pm 
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Being new in the city is a great excuse to meet new people. Just say hi and ask her if she knows a good place to go out for a party/get diner/lunch/groceries, whatever. If you feel to much pressure to talk to her, strike up conversation with one of the friends in her group, ignoring her for the time being (some insist that this a more successful method anyway).

As for adding on Facebook, I would talk to her first, see what happens.

EDIT: I now see that this is two weeks ago, so what happened?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 9:40 am 
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Yeah, be interested to see what happened. But as the thread is live again, I'll add my opinion on fb adding/requests etc.

I think to a large extent this is something that we overthink far too much. To be honest, the whole online sarging section is full of things that are far too overthought. I mean as has been said, adding someone on facebook doesn't show them that you're madly in love with them or that you're going to start stalking them for the next 5 years. It just suggests you're in the same class or whatever. If you've got a lot of friends already, then it just looks like you're one of those people who adds anyone you sort-of know, and therefore it is neither here nor there whether you add them or not.

Don't forget that if she is attracted to you, she's probably over analysing your friend request as much as you are doing it in the first place. If you send her a request, she'll probably be wondering if it's because you like her, or if you just want to be friends, or if you're just a fb-friend-whore who adds everyone and anyone. So that's possibly a good reason to add her. If she doesn't find you attractive in any way at all and really doesn't care, then who cares what she thinks about you adding her?

Having said that, I don't add too many people myself. I don't even add males who I'm good friends with. I just prefer to keep a low public profile on the internet - I get involved in all the groups etc. but I prefer to show that I've got better things to do with my time than sit on the internet (even if I haven't!).


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