Hey guys.
I been seeing a girl for just shy of 5 months
We're both 25...

I'm really confused right now and feel like I could write half a novel but I know how useless dribble never helps so I'll stick to main points.

I really don't trust my girl...which is the worst because trust is so important to me.

1. In the beginning of our relationship she told me that her ex (I'm pretty sure her first main love) and her had a very rocky relationship. She said they were on and off for a while but no matter who they were with during the times they weren't together they would always cheat on that person with each other.
(Obviously at the time this should have been a bigger concern but I was getting over someone and didn't really care too much about her)

2. She's one of the moodiest girls I've ever met, we fought a lot in the beginning and then had a good streak up untill about a month ago.
(I've confronted her about her behavior...she seems to be wanting to spend less and less time together...not as interested in sex...shady behavior) She is blaming it on her new birth control that she start last month and "doesn't know" why she is acting the way she is acting.

3. I feel like her communication is terrible. I've told her the things I'm not comfortable with and shit.
(IE: One major thing was in she told me she had a lot of guy friends and again I didn't care at all in the beginning but a few weeks ago she told me she hadn't seen her guy friend in a while and wanted to go to the movies with him) I told her afterwards that I wasn't ok with her doing shit like that. I'm not against her hanging out with her guy friends but it should be in a group with other people and not in an intimate setting but hey maybe I'm just old fashioned like that)

4. She met my mother by accident like the first month in just because of timing confusion and has seen her multiple times since then. I've met her brothers but still haven't met her mother and it's going on 5 months now. I'm hardly ever over her place and I don't feel like she is putting in any effort to move the relationship forward. She kind of brought us being official up a bit and then when I go to elaborate on it she will try to change the subject.

I guess to sum this all up...she is being moody, bitchy and shady. I even told her that I don't trust her because of these points. I told her we should just be friends and that it wasn't going to work between us like last Tuesday and she was crying and trying to justify everything. She also bought me the nexus 7 tablet which was really sweet but even since Tuesday I feel like the calls/texts/hangouts/general time spent together are slowly decreasing.

I know with some of this I'm just being jealous and acting like a little bitch but I'm just in this negative mind state and I have a lot going on in my life and everything happening with us is making me sad. Any help guys...maybe on how to get her to open up/communicate and to get her to be sweater and not so fucking challenging all the time.

If it is indeed understood by both parties as a relationship then she is being complicated.

You know what you want in a girl. Particularly a girl who knows how to respect the person she is with. Women who constantly go on friend dates with guy friends arent my taste either if im taking yer seriously. Its disrespectful.

What i would do in your situation is if she doesnt smarten up, i would take a break from us, distance myself and then talk to her again with a clear head.

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Bow chika wow wow

Birth control can be tough, but only in the beginning...

Try to be calm about things, try to make her comfortable and then have a good conversation with her about things. Try to listen and be understanding, but if there's no change for the positive eventually, you might want to consider moving on.

Dude, i've been in the same situation as you. I didn't handle it half as good as you are handling it though. You're not being jealous, you're just being just. But you DO have to follow through. You have to leave her now and don't look back. You really can't change girls like this (This is from my own personal experience), because the harder you try, the more it backfires.

Im sorry you ended up with her bro, but i think you know what you have to do to stay in a healthy mindset.


Good luck.

You have the right to do what you did so far , blaming birth control ?? it's an excuse . she just misses her first love and it's understandable .
and i really dont like the kind of girls who have a lot of Guy friends and if you wants to hangout with them it's better in large group. Show her who is the boss, show her you can lead relationship. bitches love that . MAN IN CONTROL!

Sounds like you're putting in a lot of effort and it's not being reciprocated.

The truth is Birth control completely messes up women's hormones and puts them way out of balance, so it is a valid reason for erratic behavior.. And if that's the case you could discuss alternate bc methods because it's not worth it if it's affecting your relationship.
There's also a factor with the bc pill that because it creates a situation where the body thinks and behaves as though it's pregnant, that women on it are more attracted to their family and less attracted to their partner. And by attracted I mean drawn to that nurturing family setting, not sexual. point being, the hormonal imbalance can be pretty intense.
But your relationship can't go on the way it is because she's not showing you the respect an appreciation she should.

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~Mike http://www.GirlfriendMagnet.com

First off thank you guys for all the replies...I'm sorry it took so long to write that. Whenever I thought of coming back to this thread there was always work/school or some shit coming up..

We are still together and things have improved a bit. You guys were right, maybe her body was adjusting but holy shit...that took long!!!

I just want to ask you guys your opinion one more time about a few things.

1) The first would have to be her deleting text messages. She told me from the beginning she does that because she was hooking up with one of her brothers friends and her brother looked in her phone and it caused a big thing.
So....That was a long time ago and she has a PW on her phone. She lets me see her PW on her phone but when I updated her to iOS 6 I saw her text messages were deleted and I was like wtf are you still doing this for? Even if her brother took her phone he still would need the PW...I feel if I had to delete a message it would be for something shady no? She claims that she stopped since I confronted her about it but I saw her phone the other day and I'm pretty sure all the convos were fresh.

So I don't know if you guys know this but Apple has this spotlight search feature on the phone and it logs texts so even if you delete them...they are still searchable...

2) Another thing is I live in NY and you guys obviously know we just experienced a major hurricane. There was hardly any cell service and no power etc.....
So the few times we could communicate was very brief cause of phone battery and stuff but like I even went to her house after the storm had passed to check on her and make sure nothing happened. Her brother was outside and said that she was still sleeping. He said I'll tell her you stopped by to check on her.

Ok...the storm happened Monday.. I got power back Wednesday. We spoke Thursday morning and she was gonna come after work at like 2pm and I said to her....Why don't you just come over tonight like you usually do since I have power/cable/hot water (she didn't) and she said no because she didn't want to drive home with no streetlights. Meanwhile the only place without streetlights on was halfway down her block and she lives in a rich area. We got into this fight about it and I told her, all my friends who are couples have been with each other throughout this storm and I haven't seen you once.

When it got brought up about me driving her she was fine with it and I said to her "if that was really the reason why didn't you just ask if I could pick you up because I'm scared" She claims that she just didn't think of it. Same thing last night though...snow storm...she lost power, I didn't and she said she was too scared to drive in the snow so I said I would pick her up and now her mom wouldn't let her leave.

This thing with her family is bothering me...It's like they are weirdly close and she's at my house all the time and getting really close with my mother and that makes me happy. But she is 25 and blames a lot of things like not sleeping over on her mother. Her mother still doesn't know that we been seeing each other for almost 6 months. It's really fucking annoying. Her brothers GF is at her house all the time and really close with her mother and shit. Seems like my girl would rather be there with them 90% of the time.

What do you guys suggest I do about all of this?

RUN.....FAST!

A relationship is meant to compliment your life and make you both feel happy! It's seems like you have neither! If you honestly believe that you can do better or deserve better then...

RUN