Almost anywhere you live in the world, you can find a ton of hidden activities that can enrich your life.
I used to be friends with a guy who always seemed to know about great activities to do. If liking him as a person wasn’t enough, the fact that he always knew where to go and what to do was enough reason for me to keep this guy in my life.
Be that guy. Become the expert at finding fun things to do. When you always have your plate full with fun activities, you naturally start to draw people into your life. You have a base for relating to other people.
I like to ask my clients, if you had the perfect woman in your life, what kind of things would you be doing with her?
Yes, pickup can teach you to become proficient and confident in any environment you’re in. But beyond the first date, if you don’t have interesting things going on in your life, it will be very difficult to keep women in your life. And the ones that you do keep will be boring.
Here are some important tips to finding great things to do every night of the week:
Make It Your Job to Find Fun Activities
There are a number of magazines, events lists, and websites that talk about all the great things going on in your city. My favorite guide right now is Time Out. They have Time Out magazine in almost every major city. Once a week, I sit down and go through Time Out New York. I read it like it’s a homework assignment. Anything that interests me, I put into my calendar or look it up online. I buy tickets to upcoming events. I sign up for classes that interest me.
There are a lot of other events in your city. You can Google events and your citya nd you'll find some. I’ll list a few here, for my location, New York. Feel free to add more in comments. I’m sure there’s a bunch more I’m missing.
timeout
http://www.timeout.com/
flavorpill
http://flavorpill.com/newyork
nonsense nyc
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/about/
brooklyn based
http://brooklynbased.net/event/
field trip day
http://www.fieldtripday.com/
atlas obscura
http://atlasobscura.com/blog
The Moth storytelling
http://themoth.org/events
Artcal Gallery Opening listings in NYC
http://www.artcat.com/
Upright Citizens Brigade improv theater
http://www.ucbtheatre.com/
Secret Science Club
http://secretscienceclub.blogspot.com/
This is just a sampling of some stuff I like to do. There are also classes (art, dance, cooking, sailing, scuba diving), volunteering, political groups, health (like yoga, hiking), sports (climbing, soccer, softball, basketball leagues), boardgame nights, trivia nights, festivals, burlesque, literary readings, theater, etc.
Go Alone
This may be the most important piece of advice here. I don’t wait to ask someone before I buy tickets to events. I’ll invite friends to some, but many events I end up going to alone. By going to events alone, I can go to a new event every night of the week without worrying whether I have a wing or a chaperone. It gives me a lot of freedom.
Planning to go to events alone is great because when that second date rolls around, you've already got something great to do and she can simply come along if she wants. You have a life that you can bring her into. That's so attractive.
You can also take more risks when you go alone. You may be hesitant to invite a friend out to an event if you're worried it's going to suck. But if you go alone, you can explore and find out what is good and what you really like.
Simply Show Up
Whenever you go out alone, there’s always that fear. What if people see me there without anyone, will I look like a loser? What if no one else is there and I feel weird? What if everyone else is there with friends but me?
For this I tell myself: Simply show up. Woody Allen once said, “Eighty per cent of success is simply showing up.” Simply get yourself to the event. Whatever you need to do to get yourself there, do it. If the event totally sucks, you can pretend you got a phone call and walk out the door right away. At least you showed up.
If possible, try to hang out for a bit after you get there. Sometimes you need to hang out for a bit to actually get a feel for if it's gonna be good. Walk around. Stand at the bar and have a drink. Pretend you’re waiting for your friends to show up.
Start Small
If you have a lot of anxiety planning and going to events alone, start small. Find one new activity to do every week. Don’t put pressure on yourself to do something new every single night or you’ll burn yourself out.
Focus on activities where there will be women
Since meeting women is part of what this subreddit is about, you’ll want to foster interests that have a higher possibility of meeting women. Some activities are more geared toward meeting women than others.
While it’s worth going to gaming conventions, star-trek conventions, and comic-book conventions if that’s what interests you, you may find a much lower number of women at these events then say yoga, art gallery openings, or theater events. If you’re looking for new interests, put your energy toward those that have a lot of women.
Avoid Home
As introverted guys, our home is our refuge. It's so easy to escape there. There are so many excuses to simply go home. After work, you're tired. There's no one to go out with. The event will probably suck. I probably won't meet anyone. etc. And once home, there is a lot of momentum to stay there.
Avoid the tar pit of your home. Nothing happens there. Life happens when you walk out your front door. With a little consistency, planning, and bravery, pretty soon you'll have a more exciting life than you can imagine. And that's attractive!
CHAT
