So far, on my POF account I don't get responses back. And generally only ugly fat chicks with kids send me messages. From what I understand a lot of guys have this issue. POF does have a lot of girls on there and I'm sure there are a few guys who're actually having success so I figured instead of make another "Help ME and my specific problem about POF" thread like I keep seeing why not make one with generalized advice that anyone can look at. It would be easier for those offering help and those seeking it.

Currently, I don't know what to say anymore and just say whatever.
I'm not sure what to put on my profile either.
I have no idea what kind of pictures to put up.
Nothing works that I've done and this trial and error is getting tedious and pissing me off.

So a few questions.
What messages have worked for you and why do you think they work?
What is the sort of thing you think should be on one's profile?
What kind of pictures should someone have?
What else is there to say about POF?

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

A picture of you, of course. Then try to make your life seem as fabulous as fuck.
Hanging out with friends
Playing a sport
Driving your car

You know, that shit.

Here's what I say to some girls. (Take from PUA forums)

Me: Hey there. My name's ____. So when I first saw your description I thought woah, she's pretty straight forward. And you know what, I was inspired by your sillyness in your picture and I thought it'd be nice to get to know you. So shoot me a message when you get this, I promise I wont bite, talk to you soon.

Girls around my area want someone "real" So this sounds like you're trying to actually get to know her instead of wanting sex. Of course you can alter it. If she has a long description, neg her about that but then go ahead and say you love her honesty or being straight forward.

In this case, I talked about her picture since her description was extremely short. Here's our convo (so far)

Her: Heyyy. The name is Abby. And yes I'm a goofy person .
Me: Lol I noticed. So tell me, what makes you different from all the rest?

Notice how I followed that up with this question. I attempted to have her justify herself to me, instead of the other way around. Also I asked that since it looked like the conversation wasn't going anywhere.

Her: Hm. That's tough. Im a geniually nice person. I'm looking for a long term relationship. Idk. What makes you different from everyone else?
Me: After countless lies from girls and bad relationships. I pretty much can't lie anymore, I just leaves a bad feeling in my heart when I do. But of course you're gonna have to know me more so I can prove it.
Her: I would love to get to know you.

Now I'm not so perfect myself. But I hope this can at least help you get started.

POF is like the Myspace of online dating. It sucks and only lame women seem to use it. By lame I mean the ones that think that they are the prize but your better off finding the same quality as on Creiges list. I have never hit anything more than a few messages. But I like to cast a big net an use it but its just to find DTF girls. But still never found one on POF.

For something a bit more fun and better try Okcupid. Its also free an I have had loads of success on it.

_________________
Why guys and girls don't mesh.

"Chicks are crazy and guys are dumb." Chinopants.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... a_Nno&NR=1

Last stream of messages I sent all had to do with something on their profile and asking a question about it. My inbox is still empty.
"I don't think I know very many ENFJ's that well.
Personally I'm an INxj [but come off as an INTJ to some].

Do you play any instruments?

-Nick"

was sent to a girl who mentioned that she's an ENFJ. She's logged in a few times since I've sent that message and even viewed my profile but hasn't replied. This is every girl I've messaged.

I have gotten girls to reply, when I bitch at them for not responding. The only responses I get are angry ones.
My pictures are all of me

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

POF is not the best, to be nice about it. In the two years I have been using it, I have only found one worthwhile girl on there. OKC is the better alternative. Much more information on the person. mostly due to the structure of the profile, and the match questions that are visible to other users.

Personally, I like to ask deeper questions. Not the standard fair she is going to get from any guy with half a brain that read her profile.

One of my favorites.

"When you where a little girl, what did you wish to be when you grew up?
Follow up question. If that little girl were to appear before you right now, would she punch you in the vagina for being a bitch?"

I enjoy this, because it gives a few meaningful insights into how she perceives herself it. It's fun, and I have yet to meet a single girl that hasn't literally laughed out loud while reading it. Plus it has the added bonus of getting her to qualify herself to you right out the gate in the first message.

Hope that will help you get some responses. But seriously, go to OKC. You will have much better luck.

*sigh*..... Fiiiiine. I'll build yet another site and do more work putting in the same information that gets me nowhere. Once again.
I'm on OKCupid now, but I don't really have motivation or drive to put anything in my profile or do more than upload a picture... Cause what's the use? I ask all the wrong questions anyway.

I'll try the When you were a little girl question I guess and see how that works.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

It's just advice. Follow it, or don't. You asked, and I gave you my honest opinion, along with an opener that I have had much success with. You seem a little ungrateful, but hey, maybe you're just having an off day. Cheer up, and one final little bit of advice. Put effort into you profile. Let it show who you are, and upload a photo. Or no opener in the world is going to work. Hope it works out for you.

I'm not ungrateful. Thank you for the advice.
I'm just very frustrated with relationships at this point in my life. To summarize: I've read pua books, been on forums, and practiced what I've learned and read and I still don't get it 10 years later.

So, suicide is a frequent thought. As well as ideas like trying to shut off all emotions so I never get attached or connected to anyone. Or trying to provide enough solitary distractions that I just never think about how hopelessly lonely I am.

It's very frustrating to me cause this is the only thing in life that I've worked hard on and never succeeded or even seen an acceptable amount of success with. I'm still at a point where I have no idea when I'll get laid next or when I'll find a decent girlfriend and wish I didn't desire either.

So, I apologize if I seem ungrateful, I'm just really frustrated with my life right now.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

I can understand those feelings man. It seems to me like maybe you need to work a little bit on yourself though. Granted that is what pick up is about. It just seems prevalent. I am trying not to assume anything about you, or your situation. So please if I am over the line let me know. Let me ask you this. What is it that you love in this life. For me personally, it's music, people, and travel. These are things I can not imagine life without. What is it that you can't imagine life with out?

Food, water, and oxygen are three things I can't imagine life without.
Things I love about life are exploring nature [like wooded area's], instrumental songs and scores, Animals , Video games, Drawing, Playing piano. There are lots of things I love about life.

Most of my time these days consists of filling up as much of my day with things I love to do or love about life. Part of the reason is to strategically distract myself with things I love from the idea and concept of dating and relationships. However I can only keep distracting myself for so long before I think about it again.

Today, I've been watching Dragon Ball Z Kai [which I love to watch]. Then I left the house for a 10 mile bike ride. On the way home I ran into a homeless man... I wished I could've let him stay at my place, but the voice in the back of my head said not to trust him in my home. I split a cigarette with him, then he asked if I had a blanket and something to drink. All I had was water to drink, and I got him an apple [since my house only has fruit today], and a sleeping bag.

Now I'm watching Dragon Ball Z Kai and thinking of a new song to learn on piano.

No, you aren't over the line at all. You're very nice [the quality I respect most in people] actually. I'm actually a little over the line as I vent my frustrations. And I apologize for that.

I do appreciate that [unlike most people I've run into on this particular forum] you're actually helpful, give straightforward advice, and don't brag about your accomplishments every post you make.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

I feel like the point of this entire community is to help. Not hinder, or judge, or brag. One of the reasons I don't often post lay reports. Unless I feel it has something to that might help someone else. With the exception of my first outing with the Armageddon opening. I digress.

It seems like you are filing your life with the things you enjoy. I suggest taking that into your game. Internalizing it. Maybe find a hiking club, try to game there. You will have some common interests which should help the comfort level. Maybe make use of the various forums around the net dedicated to anime. Strike up a few conversations. I am not saying to just give up cold approaches. You should be doing those as well. Only that maybe a setting in which you are very familer and comfortable with might help your "game".

I would also suggest going to the mall and saying the most rediculous shit you can come up with, with the intent of being completely blown off. It should help to just have some fun. Get over the rejection element. Who knows you may even pull a number or two. Whatever you do though, don't give up. You got this shit man.

Thing is: I don't feel comfortable anywhere there are people really.
I go to anime conventions, like Youmacon, in detroit which is full of pretty hot chicks, some really nasty fat ones, and just plain ugly ones. But, there are hot chicks who're into anime... A lot of times too intensely into it for my tastes. I just go to the convention to check out the costumes and enter the video game tournaments, as well as get shit faced drunk. Then I start noticing that the group consensus of most anime cons is that "planking" is cool.

No fiber of my being will ever except the idea of laying flat on the ground and acting like it's a big deal as anything more then sheer idiocy. Even worse when I discovered it got it's origins from slave ships because of how they made the slave lay.

Anyway, that's a bit off track. The point was that even in an area like an anime con, a musical conservatory, even the rare times you see girls at a video game tournament, etc. etc. [insert shit that's of interest to me]. My game still suffers. I'm, of course, talking to people about the special interest that brought us all to where we are, and making jokes about said special interest as well, but nothing further really.

There's no DHV stories anymore [they never seem to work]. And all I end up doing is just talk. Then the girls walk off with other guys or by themselves. When I invite them somewhere else I usually get a no or some ambiguous answer that's just a polite way of saying no. So, I just get really drunk at events like that and enjoy what I came there for.

Neutral area's like the mall or a college campus, etc.. I just don't bother anymore cause my approach is usually a "Hey I'm Nick." followed by no results and my time being wasted.

So, it's not a matter of being afraid as much as I just don't really know what to say at all. And everything I've tried before has not worked. Not regularly anyway. There's a lack of understanding when it comes to what people respond well to and what they don't respond to. I realized that I wasn't making progress or learning anything so I just stopped wasting my time.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

Sorry this reply isn't longer. Busy day. But I did want to address something.

Eisenstein defined insanity as repeating the same action and expecting different results. Something you should think about, when you open sets with "Hey I'm Nick." If it's not working you may want to try something different. As for DHV, this is an area I have disagree slightly with the community. So take what I say as only one mans opinion.

While I do find it valuable to DHV spike. I am not big about DHV stories. Sure, if she happens to notice the stethoscope. Or I am in uniform on my way to work great, I may tell a story. For the most part I just let things like that tell the story for itself. To be in a blue uniform with an EMS patch on my chest is a nice DHV spike, plus I don't have to tell a story, which can be misconstrued as me bragging. Or more often then not, I am bragging and I just wasn't slick enough in my delivery of the story to begin with. To sum up, DHV spikes=Awesome. DHV stories=not so much.

"Hi, I'm Nick." Doesn't work. I get that. I haven't seen it work.
You said the einstein thing. I got that years ago.

But here's a story that might explain the "Hi, I'm Nick." and where I'm at with the opening part.

I played soccer. I didn't grow up with a family to teach me how and didn't have access to material with instructions on it initially. In my early childhood I never ran into people who played and I would kick around a basketball [which is bigger than a soccer ball and not meant for kicking around. Also not good for your feet]. If I was going to shoot the ball I kicked with my toes. This was wrong.

In highschool someone told me it was wrong. And not to kick with your toes when i joined the team. A lot of team mates were too busy to show me how to actually kick the ball and I didn't talk to them much outside of practice or school.

I knew kicking with my toes was incorrect and gave a very bad shot with little chance of going in the goal [still a chance... just not much of one]. I know saying "Hi, I'm Nick." is roughly the same.

I didn't know how you were supposed to kick the balls. I tried various things and didn't have access any material that showed how. Also when I asked the coach if I could sit and watch practice to learn how others kick the ball he was okay with it but I saw that all of them did something different. He told me very few actually kick it correctly but kicking with your toes was wrong. Then he was too busy to show me how to kick it [and he never thought it'd be any good so he didn't care either].

I met this guy charles at the library. He played soccer had been to camps. He knew a lot about it. He took me to a field and showed me not only how to kick the ball correctly but had me do drills all day every day for the summer of 2000. In between my sophomore and junior years.

Even if he was busy I went out and practiced and practiced and practiced. I practiced what was correct and learned to vary my shots with curve balls, knuckle balls, and so on. How to aim low or high. topspin, backspin [useless for a shot really, but still I could do it and being able to is a testament of your skill level]. I practice the placement of my non kicking foot.

I got creative and learned things Charles never taught me. I just took the CORRECT way to kick the ball and added on to it. All of this worked out really well after I know what to do and practiced practiced practiced.

"Hi, I'm Nick." is a toeball.
"[unknown...]" is kicking with the instep of your foot. I don't know this, just that it's correct and can be varied and made to suit me. I will have to practice at it. But this trial and error bullshit may or may not have discovered the unknown. The problem is I wouldn't know if I did.

In soccer I actually did make the attempt to kick the ball with the instep of my foot before meeting charles. horrible results. I thought it was the wrong way. So I tried the side of my foot. Figured that was wrong to. I was desperate enough to try the soul of my foot. Then I just didn't know which was correct and which to invest time and effort into perfecting.

Trial and error sucks balls.

_________________
I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

POF is a numbers game.

Craft a funny message

Copy and paste it.

MASS MESSAGE GIRLS, don't even read their profile, just look at their pictures.

I have about a 15% response rate.

50% of those responses turn into numbers

70% of those numbers turn into day2s

85% of those day2s turns into lays

Work on the volume.