If you two work together and you truly do have pictures that might embarrass her, it'd be a good idea not to wave those in her face.

I get what you're doing: you feel powerless and want to cling to the one piece of power you know you have. To make her feel like she's outgunned and have her come back. She's got an ace up the sleeve, though. HR. She barely has to play the victim for them to throw you out on your ass.

Leave her alone for now. You could lose her and your job if you blow this. Or keep both. Best of luck.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Whatever you do keep them pictures to yourself, if you show anyone your girl will think your an ass and so will her mates and whoever she tells about it, making it nearly impossible for you to get your dick wet again

I've been in the same situation and i know it's horrible but when she dumped you then you should of acted like you didn't give a shit, it may not work but it has more chance then if you act all heartbroken and wussy

My current gf has said a few times she's not gonna talk to me anymore, after a while of me not texting her or mentioning her or anything then she always came back

sounds like you did something you didn't want to do, then got all whiney about it, don't be so passive agressive, if you don't want to do something, just don't do it, instead of doing it for brownie points then getting all butthurt when no one cares, learn to say, ''no, take the bus'' instead of being the caring loving guy who isn't appreciated and crys himself to sleep about it, the tears start flowing with, ''why can't you acknowledge all thing I do for you and waaa waaa waaa rabble rabble rage'', it's simple, either do it cause you want to, or don't do it at all, don't do things for people expecting something in return, either give for the sake of giving or just don't invest your time and energy into something that you clearly don't want to do in the first place, don't worry about hurting your gf's feelings, she doesn't own you, a no is way easier to forgive and less annoying then dealing with someone that expects you to kiss their ass for being considerate, because it feels more like they just want something from you rather then they are just being considerate, the sweetness factor goes down -20 points, and it becomes annoying when people are doing favors for you cause it feels like there is always some hidden agenda behind it

what a surprise, you spazzed on your girlfriend and kicked her out of your car, and she got mad, wow... how immature of her right?, then you spazzed harder and dumped her over text, bet she really liked that one too

really who's acting like a kid here?
kid asks him mom for a new toy,
he says, ''pretty please mom, I love you'',
mom says, ''no son, we can't afford it'',
so the boy crys and crys, throws his toys at the wall, tells his mom he hates her and he never wants to see her again, that'll teach her to not buy him a toy, right? if she loved him, she'd buy him the toy
''i texted her and said she doesnt deserve me or my love and how shes acting much younger then her years and im done with it, im breaking up with you
did i handle this the right way... i dont really want to have her leave my life....''

the above coarse of action is not a good way to show the above quote to your girlfriend, talk to her and straighten it out and be the bigger man, the first one to say you like her and things are going shitty, communicate with her instead of just doing what you don't want then getting all passive aggressive about it because she doesn't bathe you in validation for the things you do
get some hobbies and stop waiting on your girlfriend hand and foot

well, after reading this, it's safe to say you should move on, never mind about straightening things out with her, check out some mediation or something dude, work on being less reactive, it would also help you to go through some negative life experiences so they have less of an effect on your ego

You remind me of a boyfriend I had when I was about 14. That too lasted about 8 months. We of course went to the same school (as you do the same workplace) where he would sit there and try to stir shit for another 2 years while I Lol'd at his stupidity. (You may want to see about changing jobs?)

Acting like that will not make her or any girl at your workplace she talks to want anything to do with you. You won't get revenge, she will just remember you as that crazy ex she talks about to every future boyfriend to tell them what she never wants to see in them.

Say sorry things didn't work out you were having a rough night too, and then don't talk to her. Don't try to get back AT her. Don't try to get back WITH her. She is no longer worth your time. Nor are you hers.

The more you try to get with her again, the more she will be pushed away. She's already letting go, if you pull back and move on with your life, she may try to reconnect with you at some point, but don't assume you will get back together.

P.S. You should probably destroy any pics you have before you do something stupid with them. All they are doing is serving you as a reminder.

well guys i read all the posts and alot of it made sense, im honestly embarrassed and ashamed in how i reacted in this situation.... a combination of stress and fatigue really made me act out of the ordinary, this isnt something i would usually do...

i felt more bad about the way i treated her then i did about losing her... i apologized to her and said i have to get some things off my chest by talking to her about it in person... she agreed and we're going to meet up tomorrow

she replies to my texts or what not , but i dont want to come off as needy or desperate for her, but at the same time i dont want to lose such a good girl... if this was a regular bitch i would have never cared but shes too sweet to let go of.. she listens to my every word and takes it into consideration, plus shes past the whole partying/being a slut phase, so i like a girl thats settled down..

by agreeing to meet with me im assuming that she misses me too and wants me back... i just dont know how to apologize and make it up to her without making it look like im trying to win her over

what an dumb situation , i truly am ashamed in myself

Why would you dump a girl off in the night at some station, not safe. I would have dumped the girl if she did this to me. Just my honest thought.

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It is not AA that scares me or affects me anymore, its leading a conversation forward and keeping her interested. AA is nothing.

You're okay, don't beat yourself up! Everyone makes mistakes and it isn't uncommon to have stupid fights over nonsense. If you guys both learn from this, never jump to conclusions. If one person is having a bad night, don't make it personal.

You both made mistakes in this situation. It is reasonable to expect an apology from her, and you should also apologize for overreacting. Keep it simple and light, at a place you could extract youself with limited drama if need be (meet at a public place like a coffee shop, for example). As you talk through the issues, be honest with each other about what went wrong, and how to avoid the problem in the future. Be firm and clear in your expectations. If things go sour, don't shift blame or try to hold anything over her head (the racy pics you mentioned should never again be used as a pivot for compliance - you instantly lose her trust when you threaten to show them around). If it turns out that she doesn't want to repair your relationship, calmly agree... you are sorry things went bad, but you really care for her and wish her the best.

Let us know how it goes.

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- Lux et Veritas -

thank you for your input and positivity

thats pretty much what i had in mind

ill keep it updated

So we met today and i could tell she didnt want to lose me by the look in her eyes

I told her to come have a smoke with me, we talked a bit and then I apologized once more in person, and promised it would never happen again, finished the smoke and took her back to my place.

I sat her on my lap and we talked about what went wrong, and after talking for a bit i asked her if she was willing to promise to never overreact like that again, she agreed to try and i told her i would do the same... we kissed after that...

Such a sweet girl... im still kicking myself for saying the things i did... she still seems a bit distanced even though we kissed alot and were holding hands, but i know time will heal these bullshit wounds....

Any input as to how to earn her trust back would be greatly appreciated

Thank you to all who read and replied

Act by your feelings for her. Don't "just be nice" for no reason.
Make sure she believes anything you do is for the actual feelings you have towards her and also make sure she can't use your own feelings against you.

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LIFE IS A FUNNY MOTHARFUCKUR. ;3

good advice....

just an update... were doing very well and she told me she loved me over and over again lol.... she seems almost more attracted? wtf?!

to anyone reading this with a similar problem in the future... make sure you dont blow shit out of proportion.... let your girl cool off and try to keep your cool... we both got hurt and it seems like we have to build our way back up.... this all could have been avoided with me avoiding out behaviour.... but hey its another useful lesson learned....


PEACE

Sounds like you've got Nice Guy Syndrome. You want something out of the relationship (her appreciation?), and you feel taken for granted when you don't get it, yet you're too afraid to just be honest with her about how you feel.
That's why you said "you know you should really appreciate what i do for you.. taking the time to take you home, and putting km's and wasting gas so you can be comfortable." That is a cry for her attention, masked as a joke so you can try to avoid conflict.

You think that if you keep doing more and more nice things for her, then eventually she will grow to appreciate it. Her lack of appreciation for all you do, only causes you to try harder. Most likely, she does appreciate it, but she doesn't verbally express it, and you are insecure about it. In other words, her lack of appreciation is probably just all in your head. But, it has made you her bitch, who does anything and everything for her, and eventually that is going to push her away. She doesn't want a puppy dog, she wants a man. She wants you to value yourself more than you value her.

You should read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover.

you got it twisted bro, im no mr nice guy, i was just being honest about putting km's on my new car.... i only do things when she does something to deserve it... i was past the nice guy stage years ago... if it truly was the case... i wouldnt be able to keep an experienced 29 year old for 8 months when im only 21

You should have woken her up and taken her home. Never bring up that she should be appreciative. If she isn't appreciative, LEAVE. When she asks why, tell her. Then leave, go game other girls, and let her think about if being a bitch because she was tired was worth losing you. She'll come back, and don't just take her back. If you take her back you make her think she can always just go home and delete you on facebook than get back together the next day. Theres nothing more beta than taking a girl back when she acts like that.

If a girl deletes me on facebook to try and get a reaction out of me, ITS OVER. I don't waste another minute with her.

You cannot fail these shit tests or your value drops so much man.

When she acts like that, take her home, freeze her out, and wait for her to apologize for being a bitch. Don't ever overreact like that.