-----
THE BREAKUP
-----

Anyway, fast forward to two weeks ago. After a fantastic sex session, we're lying in bed together, and she tells me that my living situation still bothers her. I ask her how much it bothers her, and she says more and more everyday.

Then she asks me again how I felt about relationships. And I told her that I'm not sure if I'm ready. That doesn't mean I won't be ready in the future, but I'm trying to be honest right now, and I don't want to hurt her feelings. She said she understood, and that she's not hurt, but told me that she can't do this anymore. I told her that sucked, but I understand where she's coming from. She told me that at least we can still be friends, since we ended things on a good note. I agreed, and I left.

Up until this point, we used to talk on the phone everyday, but I thought it best if I didn't speak to her after this. But everyday that went by that I didn't hear from her, I started feeling sadder everyday. By the fourth day, I realised that I really did miss her, and I let a good thing go away. So I went into full AFC mode.

-----
THE BACKGROUND:
-----

So I met this girl through some mutual friends, and we seemed to hit things off really well, rather quickly. Had a great first date, slept together on the second date, went on several more dates and had amazing sex everytime we met up for the better part of two months.

I should let you guys know that I do have some baggage though; I had broken up with my live-in girlfriend of 10 years about a year prior to this, but we made the mistake of buying a house together, and now we are stuck with a mortgage. We still live together, but we're basically like roomates. No sex together whatsoever.

I know of should of told her this from the get go, but I wanted to keep things sort of casual between us, so I didn't share too much information at the beginning. But then we started seeing each other more, and liking each other more, and of course, she kept wondering why she couldn't come over, so I felt the need to tell her.

She wasn't sure how to handle this news at first, which is understandable of course, but we talked about and we decided that we would go ahead and give things a shot. She agreed not to date anyone else, and I agreed to the same thing, but I didn't want to lead her on, and let her know that I'm very cynical about relationships, since I just got out of a decade long one. She said she understood, but that she was looking for a serious relationship. I told her let's take things one day at a time, and she agreed.

Throughout our "relationship", she was good friends with a guy friend of ours, as in they would talk a lot, and hang out together. But since she was supposedly with me, I didn't pay any attention to it. She even pointed out that I should dress more like him, and I told her

"I dress the way I dress because I like it; I don't want to be a carbon copy gap model. And besides, which one of us is sleeping with you?"

She replied

"that doesn't mean I don't check him out".

I told her you can check out guys all you want; it doesn't bother me, I don't get jealous.

(I don't dress like a hobo btw, I just happen to have a lot of retro geeky t-shirts with 80's references that I like. She never got any of the references. Ironically, some of them actually came from the Gap)

She also mentioned to me that I should learn how to drive because she thinks guys who drive are sexy (the other guy drives).

-----
THE BREAKUP
-----

Anyway, fast forward to two weeks ago. After a fantastic sex session, we're lying in bed together, and she tells me that my living situation still bothers her. I ask her how much it bothers her, and she says more and more everyday.

Then she asks me again how I felt about relationships. And I told her that I'm not sure if I'm ready. That doesn't mean I won't be ready in the future, but I'm trying to be honest right now, and I don't want to hurt her feelings. She said she understood, and that she's not hurt, but told me that she can't do this anymore. I told her that sucked, but I understand where she's coming from. She told me that at least we can still be friends, since we ended things on a good note. I agreed, and I left.

Up until this point, we used to talk on the phone everyday, but I thought it best if I didn't speak to her after this. But everyday that went by that I didn't hear from her, I started feeling sadder everyday. By the fourth day, I realised that I really did miss her, and I let a good thing go away. So I went into full AFC mode.

I called her, but she was busy having dinner with her friends. She said she would call me back later. But she didn't. So the next day I texted her saying
"I miss you".
And she told me she was sorry she didn't get back to me last night, she just got home really late. We had plans to see a movie with her and some friends of her before our break, and I asked her if I was still invited. She said
"Of course! But if you miss me, I don't think it's a good idea"
I told her I do miss her. A lot. Then she said
" =( I don't think you should come then".
I asked her if there was anyway we could work things out, and she said
"I think this is best for the both of us, before things get too serious and one of us gets hurt. Hope you understand"
I told her:
"I understand completely, but I realise that this week without you has been really terrible. I guess you never realise how much someone means to you until their gone."
She said:
"Cheer up, life is full of ups and downs, but I believe everything happens for a reason"

We sort of left it at that.

Then she sends me a text at 2am a couple of days later saying
"I feel like I've changed for the worse. You're a better person then you think you are, and I'm not as good as a person you think I am."
I was worried about her, so texted her and told her to call me so I could talk to her. As a friend. She didn't call me.

So I went to her apartment the next morning, and buzzed her. I asked her if I could come up, and she says:
"I don't think that's a good idea"
I said:
"I just want to talk; I brought you breakfast =)"
She said can we talk downstairs? I said ok.

So we talked, and I told her I was worried. She said she was fine. I asked her why she thought she was a bad person, and she said:
"I don't think I'm a bad person, I'm just not as good a person as you think I am"
I asked her what she meant by that, and she said she couldn't tell me.

So I tried to make it clear to her that I was intrested in a future with her, and I realise what a fool I'd been. I told her I wanted to work things out with her, because she was different and special to me. She said no. So I said ok, said goodbye, and said this is probably the last time I'm going to see you. She said don't say it like that, I'm sure we'll see each other sometime. I just said take care of yourself and left.

-----
THE OTHER GUY
-----

After all of this, I was talking to a another mutual friend of ours. She asked me how me and the girl were doing, and I told her she ended things. She said she was very shocked, because the last time she had spoken with her, things were going well.

I told her what happened, and she said she couldn't believe that she would end things with me instead of trying to work things out. Then she said that she didn't understand her because she says she wants a serious relationship, but leaves herself open for things she clearly has no interests in.

I asked her what she meant, and she told me how the girl had told her that she and the other guy had been spending a lot of time together. This guy has stated that he is only interested in sex, and that he sees no future with her. The girl said that their only friends.

I sat on this information for a bit, and then decided that my best course of action would be to text the other guy, who was supposed to be my friend.

"I just wanted to say good luck to you. I hope things work out for the both of you. No hard feelings"

He said:

"thanks for the text, but there are some things I want to explain to you in person. Can we meet up?'

So I meet up with this guy, and he starts telling me how Sorry he feels, and that he feels like he's wronged me and wrecked our relationship. My first instinct was to punch him in the face, but instead I told him:

"you know what, these things happen. She obviously wasn't happy with me. If she was, then she wouldn't of done what she did. I just want her to be happy, and if she's happy with you, then so be it."

He said it would of been different if he was crazy in love with her and everything, but that wasn't the case. I told him not feel guilty, and just do his best to make her happy. He said I was a better man then he was.

After this, I texted the girl:

"I just wanted you to know you were right; things do happen for a reason. And if you and (other guy) are happy, then that's fine. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me what was really going on; I would of understood. But obviously I didn't do my best to make you happy, and for that I'm sorry. You are wrong about one thing though; I still think you're an amazing person; don't ever let anyone tell you differently. On the brigt side, I can start wearing my nerdy t-shirts again =)" Best of luck to you and (other guy); I hope you find what you're looking for"

She calls me. I ignore it. Then she sends me a text that says:

"I'm so confused. I don't know where you get me and (other guy) from. There is no me and (other guy). Please call me."

She calls again. I send her a text that says:

"I'm really tired, but talk to (other guy). Because I did."

She calls me a third time, so I pick up and say "what's up?".

She starts trying to deny the whole thing and asks me where I heard this from. I told her I talked to (other guy). And she says nothing happened between me and other guy. So I said why did he tell me he was sorry then? I told her I wasn't mad, but she shouldn't lie to me. She said she was sorry. But nothing happened between me and (other guy) until after we broke up. I said what difference does it make? she said she didn't want me to think of her that way, or that's the reason why we broke up.

I said yeah, but it's been less then a week. You should of told me what was going on; I would of understood. SHe said she wanted to tell me. I asked her why didn't she? She said she didn't know, but that's not the reason why we broke up. Do you want to know why we didn't work out?"

I told her "You liked (other guy) the entire time." She said no. And the I told her I'm not stupid. You kept telling me to dress like him, and how sexy it would be for me to drive a car, and how you check him out"

She said "so you knew? why didn't you say anything" I said what was I supposed to say?" She was silent. I said "I wish you two could of figured out you liked each other before I met you. Then she said:
"I didn't know I had feelings for (other guy). I'm so messed up".
I told her she wasn't. Then I said:
"now you know why I'm so cynical about relationships."
She said:
"you shouldn't be; you just need to find the right girl."
I told her:
"I thought you were the right girl, and that didn't really work out. Look I just want you to be happy. Obviously you weren't happy with me, so good luck to you and (other guy), I hope you guys work things out and I hope you find what you're looking for."

She thanked me for being so understanding. I said you don't have to thank me. Just be happy. She said I was really was a good guy.

I said thank you, but that we should stop all communication after this; it's best for all involved. She said ok, so I said take care of yourself. She said you too, and I said bye.

There are two reasons I'm posting this.

One. I want to know if I handled this situation properly, and if there is anything I could of done better, or something I shouldn't of done. Even her friends tell her she made a mistake, and that I'm way better for her then the other guy, but I would never tell her this; that's something she needs to figure out herself.

Two. I'm going NO CONTACT, but I want to know if she would ever contact me in the future and say she made a mistake and would want to work things out, based on the information I've given here. I'm not saying that I would want to work things out at that point, but I was just curious, because there are times I miss her so much, it's almost unbearable.

It's day 4 of NO CONTACT. Not a word.

Then she asks me again how I felt about relationships. And I told her that I'm not sure if I'm ready. That doesn't mean I won't be ready in the future, but I'm trying to be honest right now, and I don't want to hurt her feelings. She said she understood, and that she's not hurt, but told me that she can't do this anymore. I told her that sucked, but I understand where she's coming from. She told me that at least we can still be friends, since we ended things on a good note. I agreed, and I left.

"you know what, these things happen. She obviously wasn't happy with me. If she was, then she wouldn't of done what she did. I just want her to be happy, and if she's happy with you, then so be it."

-----
THE BACKGROUND:
-----

So I met this girl through some mutual friends, and we seemed to hit things off really well, rather quickly. Had a great first date, slept together on the second date, went on several more dates and had amazing sex everytime we met up for the better part of two months.

I should let you guys know that I do have some baggage though; I had broken up with my live-in girlfriend of 10 years about a year prior to this, but we made the mistake of buying a house together, and now we are stuck with a mortgage. We still live together, but we're basically like roomates. No sex together whatsoever.

I know of should of told her this from the get go, but I wanted to keep things sort of casual between us, so I didn't share too much information at the beginning. But then we started seeing each other more, and liking each other more, and of course, she kept wondering why she couldn't come over, so I felt the need to tell her.

She wasn't sure how to handle this news at first, which is understandable of course, but we talked about and we decided that we would go ahead and give things a shot. She agreed not to date anyone else, and I agreed to the same thing, but I didn't want to lead her on, and let her know that I'm very cynical about relationships, since I just got out of a decade long one. She said she understood, but that she was looking for a serious relationship. I told her let's take things one day at a time, and she agreed.

Throughout our "relationship", she was good friends with a guy friend of ours, as in they would talk a lot, and hang out together. But since she was supposedly with me, I didn't pay any attention to it. She even pointed out that I should dress more like him, and I told her

"I dress the way I dress because I like it; I don't want to be a carbon copy gap model. And besides, which one of us is sleeping with you?"

She replied

"that doesn't mean I don't check him out".

I told her you can check out guys all you want; it doesn't bother me, I don't get jealous.

(I don't dress like a hobo btw, I just happen to have a lot of retro geeky t-shirts with 80's references that I like. She never got any of the references. Ironically, some of them actually came from the Gap)

She also mentioned to me that I should learn how to drive because she thinks guys who drive are sexy (the other guy drives).

-----
THE BREAKUP
-----

Anyway, fast forward to two weeks ago. After a fantastic sex session, we're lying in bed together, and she tells me that my living situation still bothers her. I ask her how much it bothers her, and she says more and more everyday.

Then she asks me again how I felt about relationships. And I told her that I'm not sure if I'm ready. That doesn't mean I won't be ready in the future, but I'm trying to be honest right now, and I don't want to hurt her feelings. She said she understood, and that she's not hurt, but told me that she can't do this anymore. I told her that sucked, but I understand where she's coming from. She told me that at least we can still be friends, since we ended things on a good note. I agreed, and I left.

Up until this point, we used to talk on the phone everyday, but I thought it best if I didn't speak to her after this. But everyday that went by that I didn't hear from her, I started feeling sadder everyday. By the fourth day, I realised that I really did miss her, and I let a good thing go away. So I went into full AFC mode.

I called her, but she was busy having dinner with her friends. She said she would call me back later. But she didn't. So the next day I texted her saying
"I miss you".
And she told me she was sorry she didn't get back to me last night, she just got home really late. We had plans to see a movie with her and some friends of her before our break, and I asked her if I was still invited. She said
"Of course! But if you miss me, I don't think it's a good idea"
I told her I do miss her. A lot. Then she said
" =( I don't think you should come then".
I asked her if there was anyway we could work things out, and she said
"I think this is best for the both of us, before things get too serious and one of us gets hurt. Hope you understand"
I told her:
"I understand completely, but I realise that this week without you has been really terrible. I guess you never realise how much someone means to you until their gone."
She said:
"Cheer up, life is full of ups and downs, but I believe everything happens for a reason"

We sort of left it at that.

Then she sends me a text at 2am a couple of days later saying
"I feel like I've changed for the worse. You're a better person then you think you are, and I'm not as good as a person you think I am."
I was worried about her, so texted her and told her to call me so I could talk to her. As a friend. She didn't call me.

So I went to her apartment the next morning, and buzzed her. I asked her if I could come up, and she says:
"I don't think that's a good idea"
I said:
"I just want to talk; I brought you breakfast =)"
She said can we talk downstairs? I said ok.

So we talked, and I told her I was worried. She said she was fine. I asked her why she thought she was a bad person, and she said:
"I don't think I'm a bad person, I'm just not as good a person as you think I am"
I asked her what she meant by that, and she said she couldn't tell me.

So I tried to make it clear to her that I was intrested in a future with her, and I realise what a fool I'd been. I told her I wanted to work things out with her, because she was different and special to me. She said no. So I said ok, said goodbye, and said this is probably the last time I'm going to see you. She said don't say it like that, I'm sure we'll see each other sometime. I just said take care of yourself and left.

-----
THE OTHER GUY
-----

After all of this, I was talking to a another mutual friend of ours. She asked me how me and the girl were doing, and I told her she ended things. She said she was very shocked, because the last time she had spoken with her, things were going well.

I told her what happened, and she said she couldn't believe that she would end things with me instead of trying to work things out. Then she said that she didn't understand her because she says she wants a serious relationship, but leaves herself open for things she clearly has no interests in.

I asked her what she meant, and she told me how the girl had told her that she and the other guy had been spending a lot of time together. This guy has stated that he is only interested in sex, and that he sees no future with her. The girl said that their only friends.

I sat on this information for a bit, and then decided that my best course of action would be to text the other guy, who was supposed to be my friend.

"I just wanted to say good luck to you. I hope things work out for the both of you. No hard feelings"

He said:

"thanks for the text, but there are some things I want to explain to you in person. Can we meet up?'

So I meet up with this guy, and he starts telling me how Sorry he feels, and that he feels like he's wronged me and wrecked our relationship. My first instinct was to punch him in the face, but instead I told him:

"you know what, these things happen. She obviously wasn't happy with me. If she was, then she wouldn't of done what she did. I just want her to be happy, and if she's happy with you, then so be it."

He said it would of been different if he was crazy in love with her and everything, but that wasn't the case. I told him not feel guilty, and just do his best to make her happy. He said I was a better man then he was.

After this, I texted the girl:

"I just wanted you to know you were right; things do happen for a reason. And if you and (other guy) are happy, then that's fine. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me what was really going on; I would of understood. But obviously I didn't do my best to make you happy, and for that I'm sorry. You are wrong about one thing though; I still think you're an amazing person; don't ever let anyone tell you differently. On the brigt side, I can start wearing my nerdy t-shirts again =)" Best of luck to you and (other guy); I hope you find what you're looking for"

She calls me. I ignore it. Then she sends me a text that says:

"I'm so confused. I don't know where you get me and (other guy) from. There is no me and (other guy). Please call me."

She calls again. I send her a text that says:

"I'm really tired, but talk to (other guy). Because I did."

She calls me a third time, so I pick up and say "what's up?".

She starts trying to deny the whole thing and asks me where I heard this from. I told her I talked to (other guy). And she says nothing happened between me and other guy. So I said why did he tell me he was sorry then? I told her I wasn't mad, but she shouldn't lie to me. She said she was sorry. But nothing happened between me and (other guy) until after we broke up. I said what difference does it make? she said she didn't want me to think of her that way, or that's the reason why we broke up.

I said yeah, but it's been less then a week. You should of told me what was going on; I would of understood. SHe said she wanted to tell me. I asked her why didn't she? She said she didn't know, but that's not the reason why we broke up. Do you want to know why we didn't work out?"

I told her "You liked (other guy) the entire time." She said no. And the I told her I'm not stupid. You kept telling me to dress like him, and how sexy it would be for me to drive a car, and how you check him out"

She said "so you knew? why didn't you say anything" I said what was I supposed to say?" She was silent. I said "I wish you two could of figured out you liked each other before I met you. Then she said:
"I didn't know I had feelings for (other guy). I'm so messed up".
I told her she wasn't. Then I said:
"now you know why I'm so cynical about relationships."
She said:
"you shouldn't be; you just need to find the right girl."
I told her:
"I thought you were the right girl, and that didn't really work out. Look I just want you to be happy. Obviously you weren't happy with me, so good luck to you and (other guy), I hope you guys work things out and I hope you find what you're looking for."

She thanked me for being so understanding. I said you don't have to thank me. Just be happy. She said I was really was a good guy.

I said thank you, but that we should stop all communication after this; it's best for all involved. She said ok, so I said take care of yourself. She said you too, and I said bye.

There are two reasons I'm posting this.

One. I want to know if I handled this situation properly, and if there is anything I could of done better, or something I shouldn't of done. Even her friends tell her she made a mistake, and that I'm way better for her then the other guy, but I would never tell her this; that's something she needs to figure out herself.

Two. I'm going NO CONTACT, but I want to know if she would ever contact me in the future and say she made a mistake and would want to work things out, based on the information I've given here. I'm not saying that I would want to work things out at that point, but I was just curious, because there are times I miss her so much, it's almost unbearable.

It's day 7 of NO CONTACT. Not a word.

I broke down today and texted her. I told her how much I missed her, asked if she was still seeing the other guy, and begged for her to give me a second chance.

Just kidding; it's actually day 15 of no contact. However, I am starting to feel the urge to break no contact and see how she's doing. Please talk me out of it guys.