Hi,

Recently broke up with my 2 years girlfriend and moved into a new flat in a cool part of town looking to have some fun..

Girls have been giving me their phone numbers and then not pick up or answer my texts?
or perhaps answer a few texts and then they vanish
When they give their numbers they look quite happy about it.. minimal if any convincing needed on my side.
I am also a successful artist and these are usually clients who are buying from me and give me loads of compliments and respect for my work
I`m not getting a vibe like i`m creeping them or boring them..and i am subtly directing my text toward a date..
They just disappear..
I know i have not give n much info here but any ideas?

Thanks

Well from my own recent experience, this tends to happen when you don't build enough rapport/comfort with them or don't strike their interest. If you don't find that common ground with them, it's likely that they won't return your calls/text.

One other good thing to do and what I try to practice is, when you close them, also hook them with something. Say or do something that will make them want more. Even when you text them, say something that they will feel the need to respond to (There are Text Openers here in the forum) and go from there. Just my 2 cents. I hope this helps. Good Luck!

is this a re-occurring problem with over 100 girls in a row?
about how many girls /10 give you their numbers, how do you get the number?
if you were to guess, what is premises for you getting the number in the girls mind?
after you have the number, how much could you tell me about the girl in particular? (don't tell me about a specific girl, as in, after getting a number in general, how many things do you know about that girl?)

Not really.. In the past i would normally get a number which would lead to a date which would end with sex or a 2nd date which would end with sex.

About 80% of the times i go for it i get the number (Lately)
Hard to say, I have been told i`m a flirt by a lot of women.. i`m a very confident at times and comfortable usually perhaps even too comfortable ...
I have actually been called a good "sales man" on dates!
.
Lately though, I have been very straight forward and after a few minutes of conversation would say in a caveman sort of way "Give me you number we are meeting for a beer"
And that works fine for getting the number
Hmmm.. Sometimes i barley remember her name and face and sometimes i learn about what they do/study whats their recent travel history and such.

thanks for the help

You must set up the next meeting before you leave them the first time. It shows you're keen and motivated. It keeps interest, forming a "bridge" over the span of time that will occur when you part ways.

It will then require that you get their number before you leave - this flips it around so that getting the number becomes a symptom of the interaction you both had, not a goal that you want, which sets you apart from all the other guys.

It's quite common that they are happy when they give you their number in the moment, but then due to the way things went, afterwards they feel a bit regretful for doing so. Keep in mind what I said.

And enough of this feeble "text conversations" afterwards. You must call. And then you send a text that says you attempted to call and will catch her later, (and then give her some details of the event you're inviting her out to, in the text, if necessary). That shows that you prefer to call and not hide behind texts.

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Thanks i now understand the concept of "Bridges" its basically creating an expectation which is more real in the mind then just a conversation that ended with an a number swapping.
Why do you figure they regret it later on? if I play a good game should they not be aroused and excited to see me again?

Do you keep track of interesting events, shows that are coming up so when you set up a meeting you have something interesting to offer? doing something real that may interest her (since you know a bit more about her by then)

well from your post it seems you are not super clear in your intentions with these women, and you are not making much of an emotional connection

you said you're flirty and ask for the number and get it 80% of the time, that tells me the intent is rather unclear, you have to pinpoint exactly what you are looking for, know what you want, and see if she has it

you should try to lower that 80% down to less numbers, and make sure they are aware you plan on sleeping with them (don't have to overtly verbally make this clear, but they should just understand this is sexual interest, with more then just jokes and friendliness and teasing, that is if you aren't already *was fairly unclear in your answer exactly what you do*), but realistically an 80% of the time number says to me that you aren't very clear in what you are looking for, and you'll take a number from any girl just cause she's physically attractive to you, and don't do much beyond that in terms of screening or having a specific idea of what you are looking for

some girls tell you you're a saleman, and you're a flirty type guy, this tells me that you're more trying to impress and make a good impression, then trying to screen the girl and see if she's making a good impression on you, instead of entertaining the girls and getting good reactions, focus on getting more to the point, seeing if she has what you're after, getting in and getting out, be an approval giver, instead of an approval seeker

as for the emotional connection dive deeper then this, you're getting their logistics and can think of how they look, that's cool, but try to get a feel for what kind of person they are, and walk away knowing something about them and what motivates them in life, and what kind of a person they actually are, in terms of personality more then the superficial level stuff

if this isn't dooable in person, follow up on the phone sooner then later until you feel you know them, carry the momentum into dates and set them up for sooner rather then later (you can even ask her if she's free for the night of the day you met her)

when you find you're more getting around 3/10 numbers, and you're spending more time talking to the girls and leaving knowing something about them and knowing that they are the kind of girls you like, as well as these girls being pretty aware that it's likely you want to bang them, then you will probably be in a better position with your phone numbers leading to something more then flakes

Thank you for this good advice, I have to say you explained it very clearly.
I guess i was just looking at it wrong.. giving too much importance to making a good impression instead of focusing of whether she makes a good impression on me.

I will practice this..

I quoted that full section, because the answer to your last question is in your first statement!

They regret it later simply because they gave out their number in the moment, but then realise later that's all it felt like a fun interaction and a number swapping, INSTEAD of "I'm gonna see this guy again tomorrow, I have his number to make sure we keep in touch and meet up at the right time & place"
Yes I do, and now even though I have a gf and am in study mode, I still can't help keeping in touch with cool events - largely because I'm subscribed to Facebook calendar on my phone, so all events that people invite me to (even if I haven't replied) show up on my phone. Also when I'm walking around I take note of events that will be cool, like the Chinese lantern festival on this weekend, and put it in my phone calendar. I guess from experience I have an idea of how cool something might end up being depending on who I/we go with, but I remember when I was a bit of a recluse it felt like more of an effort to be taking note of events and going to them or inviting people along. But I had to do it to get more used to it because of what it will lead to.

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Also pumpington has really good advice there.

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