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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 4:49 am 
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but honestly if they've been friends for the long term, and they are beta, theres probably nothing to worry about... thats most likely all they'll ever be
we are talking about a 10-year friendship, with a guy who has never been seen with a girl. when I met him, I tried to gauge his skills but either he is the best actor ever or he is totally unable to hit on anything with a vagina.

Worst case, he is an orbiter.

And this is pretty much why I am hesitant to say "NO WAY".. it seems to be not worth it, and a huge boost to this guy's value for no good reason
bro if its only once a month and not escalating, you have nothing to worry about, especially because your saying hes never been seen with a girl, your worrying over nothing, but if its really bothering you, just tell her man, your in a relationship and can talk about pretty much anything thats bugging you..


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 2:20 pm 
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When I saw how long that was I told myself I wouldn't read it but I'm glad I did...

Look, this girl fucked up real bad, I know that, you know that and now everyone on the forum knows that too... You know that you have to dump her and be gone but you are asking this because you still love her and you are hoping that some guy will give you a reason to stay, Well, I'm not gonna be that guy unfortunately!

The relationship will never be the same again. She cheated on you and fucked another guy while you two were dating, it's either she will see you as a bitch or you will see yourself that way

Right now you are feeling beat up, I know I've been there!

The best way to move out of that state of mind is to have something that keeps your mind off of her. Get a new hobby, hang out more or get a rebound.

When my GF of 2 years slept with another guy 1 day before our 2 year anniversary I flipped and never thought I'd move out of that space.

Now I got myself this really amazing girl that really makes the pain dissapear to a point where I can look at my ex's pics that she posted on Facebook with her and her new BF and not even give a damn!

so in short: DUMP HER FOR GOOD AND MOVE ON! THINGS CAN NEVER BE THE SAME AFTER THIS!

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 3:32 pm 
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If my gf sleeps with another guy then she's gone! I know it's easier said than done but I really don't see how you can recover this situation and be the same couple afterwards!!

I wouldn't get into a points scoring battle or anything like that. I'd dump her asap, no big drama or talks just say what needs to be said and leave. Then id call my best closest friends set up a few fun nights and tell them that I need to take my mind off stuff!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 7:47 pm 
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i'm really sorry to hear that happened to you man but like someone said, its better now then later when you are married. i think you should have a serious talk with her and try to work things out. you need to ask yourself if you could ever trust her 100% again. its understandable if you can't trust her now but if you can't fully trust her years from now then you won't have a good relationship.
what do you think it was that pulled her to the other guy? do you think she wasn't as attracted to you?

if you do end up getting back together, you need to let her know that if she ever cheats on you again that there will be no hesitation or second thoughts and that it will be over.that way if it happens then she can only blame herself.

now i have a question for you guys since i can't make my own threads yet :/

what if your girlfriend of 7 months was talking to a guy on facebook and the guy asked would you cheat on your bf and she said i dont know but i've been tempted to. would you break up with her? this happened to me a couple months ago but i didn't break up with her. we are still dating but i dont fully trust her and no shes going to university part time so now i have even more stuff to worry about. im thinking abouit talking to her about the relationship this weekend over a bottle of win. she said she wouldn't have done it but i dont 100% buy that.

also do you guys know of any e-books, articles or programs that talk about ltr's? it seems like everything is about getting the girl but they don't say anything about what to do after.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 8:21 pm 
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i'm really sorry to hear that happened to you man but like someone said, its better now then later when you are married. i think you should have a serious talk with her and try to work things out. you need to ask yourself if you could ever trust her 100% again. its understandable if you can't trust her now but if you can't fully trust her years from now then you won't have a good relationship.
what do you think it was that pulled her to the other guy? do you think she wasn't as attracted to you?

if you do end up getting back together, you need to let her know that if she ever cheats on you again that there will be no hesitation or second thoughts and that it will be over.that way if it happens then she can only blame herself.

now i have a question for you guys since i can't make my own threads yet :/

what if your girlfriend of 7 months was talking to a guy on facebook and the guy asked would you cheat on your bf and she said i dont know but i've been tempted to. would you break up with her? this happened to me a couple months ago but i didn't break up with her. we are still dating but i dont fully trust her and no shes going to university part time so now i have even more stuff to worry about. im thinking abouit talking to her about the relationship this weekend over a bottle of win. she said she wouldn't have done it but i dont 100% buy that.

also do you guys know of any e-books, articles or programs that talk about ltr's? it seems like everything is about getting the girl but they don't say anything about what to do after.
What kind of answer is that? i dont know but ive been tempted.... sounds like a future cheater to me... dont think about talking to her... TALK TO HER. Tell her if theres a doubt in her mind that she would cheat, to grow a pair ( lol ) and tell you straight up so you can move on to someone who deserves you... or you can try to get the attraction stronger to the point where she wouldnt even dare cheat.

I would flip the script and get a bunch of girls to post on my FB if you can, let her see you have other options if she decides to fuck around.. but if i were in your shoes and a better girl came along... i would definitely leave her


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 8:42 pm 
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It's fucking hard. I pictured myself with her for the rest of my life. We had an idea of what our life was gonna be like. Now when I think of my future, it's blank. She was my best friend. Walking away is so hard...

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 8:55 pm 
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And Firebird, you're right. After being in a relationship for so long, I'm scared to be alone.

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"The society that separates scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools." - Thucydides

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 9:13 pm 
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It is hard. Have you ever had to break up from a long term relationship before? This was my first, and I had no idea what to expect. I thought I had the rest of my life figured out, but that was shot down at the flick of a wrist. I think being unsure of what was to come was one of the scariest parts about it.

Now, the future is still unclear for me. And I'm ok with it. It's actually a relief of some sorts. Be single for a while. Its fun.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 11:32 pm 
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You need to drop this chick plain and simple, she got caught red handed more than once! she lied, and she will continue to lie, and she will have no respect for you if you take her back!

why do you feel bad for her? your making excuses for this bitch! and thats what she is a cheating bitch, is this really the kind of women you want to marry and have your children???? she is the definition of whore.

sorry but you needed to hear it.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2012 12:41 am 
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You need to get out of the house! find someone to talk to, go out with budies, this girl is only going to cause you more hurt.

It wont be easy but you can't look back! you have to leave her....she lied not once but twice, and so can you really ever trust her again?

Stop thinking of all the good times and think of all the shit she has put you threw!


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2012 5:35 am 
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If my gf sleeps with another guy then she's gone! I know it's easier said than done but I really don't see how you can recover this situation and be the same couple afterwards!!

I wouldn't get into a points scoring battle or anything like that. I'd dump her asap, no big drama or talks just say what needs to be said and leave. Then id call my best closest friends set up a few fun nights and tell them that I need to take my mind off stuff!

i couldn't agree more, if you dont dump her for cheating then you lose all value which will only lead to her cheating even more


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 1:21 pm 
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What a long reading! Explained very well. I feel for you man. My last girlfriend didn't cheat on me, however we have been together for almost 5 years and it was godmotherfuckingdamn hard to make a decision because of our situation.

We have both had strong, very strong feelings, however we were very different kind of persons. She didn't like the way I am and I was not satisfied with her behaviour. Our plans were different, mindsets, opinions were different too. Our view to a lot of important things(at least to me) was different, but there were feelings. Once, I got enough of thinking about it and seeing that I hurt her by just being ME and I decided to leave.

I have another girlfriend for quite long, can't really forget the last one, but I am very happy now. The breakup actually changed me quite strongly in my views and behaviour. The breakup after so many years was like a chain reaction. I got pissed not doing what I want 100%, I got pissed because I was putting off some important things to a land called"later/tomorrow". Now I see myself as a different person. Actually if I have had a fear of being alone, now I don't, now I just make a decision and live with consequences.

Hope that made you feel better mate!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:27 pm 
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I Don't feel bad for bedrock one bit. He let his girl hang out with another dude
and his is excuse for allowing it is "I'm not the jealous type"

Then when his girl hooks up with the guy, which was almost 100% bound to happen, he's playing the victim and wanting everyone to feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for his stupidity for letting it happen in the 1st place.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:53 am 
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Fuck. This.

You guys are mother fucking right. This person I'm being, this wimp, is not me.

FUCK. THIS.

I don't deserve this. Love made me blind. But now, now I see.

I did make a mistake though. I caved. She seemed suicidal and was bawling and trying to get into her car because she was torn up that the relationship was over. So I pulled her out and took her back up to our apartment. Somehow we ended up making out and having sex. I even told her I forgive her. But reading over what I wrote initially, there's no way I'm over this. Fuck no. I'm not putting up with that bullshit. I'm going to have to break it off again.
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I get the point of this 100%. And, yes, this guy failed to recognize the potentially dangerous situation before his eyes.
No, I did recognize it. I explained to her that he had a game plan to get her into bed from the very beginning. I saw it. Her friend saw it and tried to convince her as well. She was just ignorantly blind. Which makes it worse.

I need to break this off.

You guys are right. She fucked up too bad. I was looking for reasons to stay with her because I don't want to lose her. But I need to face that fear. I need to lose her. I need her... But I don't. I don't need her. I'm scared shitless of being single again. I spent my ENTIRE college career in a relationship, now I only have two more semesters left. I'm scared of not having someone to talk to. I'm scared of being alone.

But I need to face those fears.

Because I deserve better.
Quote:
It is hard. Have you ever had to break up from a long term relationship before? This was my first, and I had no idea what to expect. I thought I had the rest of my life figured out, but that was shot down at the flick of a wrist. I think being unsure of what was to come was one of the scariest parts about it.

Now, the future is still unclear for me. And I'm ok with it. It's actually a relief of some sorts. Be single for a while. Its fun.
No, my longest relationship coming into this relationship was 2 months. I was a man-whore lol. I can't think of my unclear future as a relief just yet, but that's something to strive for.

You guys are right. Thank you. In no way am I looking for a pity party, I guess I just needed a kick in the ass. Thank you guys. I will end this.

_________________
-Bedrock

"The society that separates scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools." - Thucydides

Seize the day with love

Sometimes you succeed, and sometimes you learn.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:01 am 
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Being alone is far better than being with someone who does not give a fuck about how you feel.

I guarantee you there are friends you haven't talked to in a while. Call them up, they'll know what to do.

In addition, go to the gym. Do some reading. See a movie. Take up jiu jitsu. Anything!

Don't take this girl back because she cried a little, let her clothes fall off, and gave you her warm box like old times.

Life is a toy store and while the music is playing, you grab as much fun out of it as you can. Don't be holding a broken toy when the melody ends.

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