I love my girl and I want to be there for her, but she's always taken me for granted a little bit.

Recently though, it's got worse with her cancelling me at short notice.

She's had plans with me and then gone to see a friend.

I feel like she's just getting me out of the box when she feels like it.
I spoke to her and told her that she should give me more notice as it's polite and puts me in a better position .

What should I do about it?
Thanks guys.

sounds like she's in control of the relationship, a very bad place to be

I'd back off her a little bit and make her do a bit of the work

I think generally we have quite a good balance of control.

I know she's really dependant on me.

She's just very good at gaming me sometimes!

you are too needy

if you are in a place where you are worrying about whether she wants to hang out with you or her friends

then you need to make yourself scarce

and NOT as an ACT

actually, forget about her for awhile

do other things

be like "wtf ever" and live the vida loca!

if you love something, set it free...

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Mack buddy.

I've been with her for a year and a half.

I'm not needy or AFC.

I have my own space, interesting hobbies, don't see her too often, etc.

I keep my game pretty good.

She responds to this well and attraction levels are high, but she doesn't seem to get the fact that I am well within my write to walk away from her if I'm not happy.

I want her to see this and stop taking me for granted.

oh, i see what you are saying.

so your post isn't the typical "waaaah, boohoo, why doesn't she love me" that we are all used to reading here.

you are actually saying that you are maintaining a good mentality and a good frame, but objectively you are seeing some negative trends developing with her behavior? and those trends seems to indicate that despite you playing your cards right, she is still 'automatically' sort of taking you for granted?

is this correct?

and then the question is...what can you do about it?

let me know if this is a better understanding of what you are getting at and then myself and other posters will be able to respond.

if so, i think it's a great question because i'm kind of philosphising on things of this sort lately too.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

That's exactly what it is. We have a good healthy relationship with lots of attraction.
We don't kill the attraction by seeing eachother loads but we're both happy.

She's always been badly organised and seems to think it's okay to text me a few hours before we're supposed to meet and say 'Hey, can I go see my girlfriend'.

Of course, I'm like 'Yep go ahead babe', because I'm not as AFC as I once was.

I then crack on with work, graphic design or music.

I just wish it wouldn't happen.

- - -
I want to make her aware of this, but in a subtle, non-AFC, respectful way.

I still haven't found a way to do that though, apart from having my own space and having stack of girl friends.
I've been doing exactly this, and to be honest, I have seen an improvement.

More in her overall attraction to me than anything else.

I'll know soon enough whether being a bit more of a challenge helps with her cancelling me.

you don't have to make her aware of this, it just is

you care so much and she seems to not care so much, you get what I'm saying? actually care less, if you care if she cares that sort of defeats the purpose, don't you think?
well this is your problem, you're doing these things for her overall attraction instead of to increase your own overall happiness

when you care, and she doesn't, you cut yourself off so that ''YOU'' don't care, not so that ''SHE'' will care, if you start doing other shit with the express purpose of pleasing her so she likes you, you defeat the purpose, it's to make you better off, so your in a spot where you don't need her anymore for real, not to get some sort of behavior out of her, it's so you don't feel so emotionally attached to someone who isn't delivering that emotional support you are looking for, just emotionally attach yourself to something else so there is no longer a need

if you are faking it and are still attached, then no matter what you do it's still eventually not going to be working, it's one thing to fake not being needy, it's another thing all together to actually not give a fuck one way or the other

I kinda understand his situaation. Usually doing your own thing and getting a lot of social proof is enough to keep a girl in check.

Zilla, maybe next time you could tell her that you were looking forward to see her but if she wants to hang out with her friend instead then it's her decision. Might be subtle enough.

Your problem is that after a year and a half, you are still playing the game. You guys are not on the same page and you don't want to say anything because you think it might make you look bad or lose attraction. If you are still worried about keeping the attraction after that long, it doesn't seem like a relaxing happy relationship. You've expressed similar concerns a few months back so it doesn't seem much has changed.

I'm not sure what type of advice would be best here but try to strengthen your emotional connection. There's a thread on how to do that. Keep the vibe up, be a little edgy and mysterious. Get through different emotions and experiences, etc. If after that you still have issues, then just be upfront with her in a calm manner cause at that point you will be ready to walk anyways so nothing to lose.

It's possible she might not even know this bothers you. She may think you weren't too interested in hanging out, and that she's sparing you by meeting up with her friend. Talk to her.

Also, I'm guessing you two probably didn't have anything planned, right? I can't imagine your girl would back out of a dinner reservation or something in that nature?

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Agree with what he says. I would just say something like "Yeah, right after you get done climaxing"

I would be worried about this continually happening and actually might be suspicious of something else going on tbh. It sounds like she makes plans and if she finds something better to do, she jumps ship.

If I make plans with a girl and she blows them off, you best believe that I won't be making more plans with her anytime in the near (48 hours at LEAST) future or even attempting to, and if she tries, I'll tell her I'm too busy because I generally am too busy because I wasn't sitting around waiting to make plans with her.

And even though she's your GF, you shouldn't either. If she wants to go see her girlfriend, get your boys and go do something fun. Get around some real fun dudes that you like and I bet you'll see why you shouldn't put up with this kind of shit.

Right, looks like I have a lot of answering to do... :L

Pumpington: I know she cares about me really. But you're right, maybe it's time I focused on myself and began to care less, so that we're reading of the same page.

That said, I feel like I'm blowing this out of proportion really. I know she really cares about me and that the balance is even.

It's just her actions that seem to contradict that every once in a while.

Hobbit: As always, very insightful Hobbit. The problem is, if I don't let her freely do as she wants, I feel like I'm keeping her on a short lead. That feels needy and I can't do it.

But yes, it's about time I expressed my feelings to her.

Sly_Wolf: We're definitely on the same page, I don't game her as if we're dating. We're bf and gf and we have a great emotional connection. We're relaxed and comfortable but still keep the attraction high.

You mentioned that I expressed similar concerns a month or so back.
These are just petty problems that I want to improve on.

Overall, we have a great relationship.

Dr. Jones: Very true, I'm a busy guy. But I work hard to make time for my girlfriend so I have no problem with seeing her.

Nope, we didn't have anything planned, just our usual nice night in.
I would never be annoyed if she had a good reason not to see me, but he reasoning is simply that she got a better offer from a friend and so that's what she wants to do.

- - -

I guess that's enough for now.
I'm probably making this seem worse than it really is.

Thanks tho guys.

Put her in her place. Pick up some uncooked chicken and make her cook you a meal son, at her place and if she tries to get you to cook it for her be like no, that's your job. Then tell her to make sure she cooks it well too. hahaha

ps. If she can't do that dump her ass hahaha! You need a woman who can cook!

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GBTN Seduction Harbor: http://www.glorybethynight.com

“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”
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hey im pretty new to the game and am currently in a relationship. we've been dating for about 8 months and at the start of our relationship i wasn't that into her and she'd be chasing me. eventually i got attached to her and we became a couple. ive read good amount of (e)books, articles and checked out programs but it seems like they're all about getting the girl and there's none about keeping her. iwas wondering what you do to keep her attracted and basically keep things fresh. lately we havent been fooling around, i think the last time we had sex was close to a month ago and funnily enough, she was on her period. before she used to straight up ask me to suck my dick but now things are slowing down.

also if anyone know any books,articles or programs for ltr let me know. it would be really appreciated

sorry to hi-jack your thread but you seemed to know what your doing