Me - Just got out of college, use to be a wild partier, now I dont drink and have extremely ambitious goals that I am pursuing relentlessly, not traditionally religious, no relationship 3 years.

Her - About to start college, virgin, never gotten drunk, goal driven and serious about life, very religious, just got out of a 2 year relationship.

Situation

I have been seeing this girl for 4-5 weeks. We have incredible chemistry. She loves hanging out with me and I love hanging out with her. She just started college in my town which is also the same town she went to high school in. She likes me a lot but thinks that we are "too different" to really date. She believes that once she doesn't think someone should be her boyfriend she wont be romantic with them. VERY conservative. Also VERY inexperienced with guys since she has been in a relationship ever since she got hot.

We were at the point where she was getting comfortable with me sexually and then her dad saw us together and yelled at her for still dating me (They said I am too old for her to date in addition to them not liking that I was a wild partier. (She also does not like this party past of mine). She said we would just be friends). She called me up after that and said she cant do it anymore and wants to only be friends. I initially am fine with it and think it is a good idea.

Over the weekend I am working and tell her to come chill at my place and she can crash there. She gets tired and I tell her she can go to sleep on my bed but she ends up choosing the couch. That was interesting to me.

The next night I go out with her and then come back to my place and she sleeps over. I go to initiate a make out with her and she starts to go with me but then pulls back and says she "cant go through this again". I went chode here and started getting needy and logical with her here. I tell her that if this is what she wants then that is fine. She still sleeps over and wants to snuggle with me like she's dating me - definitely not a friend thing.


What I want:

I honestly don't know anymore. Logically I am thinking I should just be friends with her. This is what she is saying. Although it is clear that she is on the fence this is a girl that I have a great connection with and also would be a great connection to meet other girls in her school as she is very attractive and social.

Emotionally I want to keep progressing romantically and show her a good time sexually. I feel like I am wayyyy too attached to her though and it is interfering with my goals and business. I have noticed that where I was acting through the frame of a strong respectable guy I have gotten comfortable and acted in a less respectable goofy way around her. This IMO is the worst possible mindset for me to attract women although I seem to entertain the HELL out of myself while im in that state.


This girl is super hot and super respectable. I like her and since there are no other girls that im really talking to (problem area I know but my time is almost solely dedicated to business right now and I dont want to talk to any girl that isn't "investable"). I think we would have great sexual chemistry if I can break her sexual hangups about it. I think she is worth investing more into but not if we are going to go back and forth like this. Do you guys see a way that I could progress romantically with her and also information that would help me with staying "in control" of my relationship with her and also my life in general while being emotionally attached to girls? It is like I have to fight myself to not hang out with her and drop my immediate responsibilities. I have terrible self discipline in that regard. Im thinking the solution would be a better framing of my beliefs and past. I sort of just told her all of these funny party stores and extreme philosophical views I have. Kindof freaked her out. We get along great though so I dont see the problem... Anyway your turn!

in which case, I totally sympathize with the OP for gaming against the nice jewish guy stereotype

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

I'm going to start by being kind of an asshole sorry but I feel you are doing something you know is morally wrong yourself, leave her be and find a girl in alignment with you.

I will have to say I would just avoid the hell out of her. I mean honestly, I get it sexy, can't have her, a great connection, bla bla bla which all really just adds up to I really really want to have sex with her (not saying you don't feel you have a connection with her). Just be upfront with us and yourself about your intentions sex comes first but perhaps more will work out if she doesn't freak out after having sex for the first time.

You have to be honest with yourself about what you are doing, you are trying to fuck a naive conservative teenage woman. My apologies but I consider anyone ultraconservative about sex Naive - if they are conservative about it they just don't know.

If you want to get over her you have to eliminate yourself from her, just keep telling her you're busy. You need to realize what you are doing to yourself by spending so much time with her, hurting your confidence and fucking with your own mind. She let you know who she is and you want to change that, when she is ready if she ever is she will change. She is the problem via your obsession with her. As time goes by a month then two then more you end up forgetting about her and she is but a minor mark in thought every few days. I recently went through a rough bout of wanting the hot girl I couldn't have, the only way to end your thoughts of her is to stop spending time with her and let your thoughts fade. When you aren't around her you'll think about her but doing shit should keep her off your mind.

If for whatever reason you still feel it is necessary to go after this girl you still need to separate yourself and let your feelings die a bit. You simply care too much and because of this you are needy. This is something you need to avoid, you say drop everything you need to do to go hang out with her? Really? Hell even in my recent bout with my huge crush I never let her own my actions like that. It shows zero confidence and low value.

After you let your feelings die for her the process is normal - She is attracted, she is connected, so you have only one goal building sexual tension. While I believe sexual tension is easy to build without kissing it is a lot easier, kissing can relieve some tension which isn't a good thing.

Make her want sex more than you. Make her realize her sexual desires are normal, yes she needs to embrace her sexuality, this is the key. It's normal to want to feel that good. Don't mention her having that good feeling, and don't get too graphic to start. Get her mind on sex and wanting it.

I'd have to agree with Tony King in embrace the curiosity about sex. Why do people like sex? Make her think about it with more regularity. She gets horny too, difference is she ignores it or thinks it wrong(which is why you want her to embrace her sexuality).

As her thoughts are consumed more and more by sex you want to build more and more sexual tension, the right kind of touch, and I want to once again emphasize eye contact (warped mindless has a great Sexual Tension and escalation building guide). I would focus on sensitive areas like the hips (the hip grip and control her it's extremely arousing for most women).

Once she wants sex more than you just keep saying we won't have sex and get closer and closer, finger her, and go down on her. Obviously this is going to be the old high school route of first base, second base, third base, home plate. You are going to have to get her comfortable with sex, then get her to want sex, then get her to allow you to do sexual things with her, get her to enjoy sexual things, and then get her to have sex with you. This can happen in a night but you've already made that hard to happen over night, you need to do it through out time now. Which sucks but would work.

Oh if she ever says anything judgmental about your past just say you know well and good that you do not have the right to judge.

Peace and Love,

Vic

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Thanks a lot for the responses guys.

Im pretty torn up about this decision here. I just put myself in a situation outside of the dating realm that is making me a pretty needy person. Its just the nature of what im having to go through. With that being said I'm noticing that I'm having extremely bitter thoughts about this girl. I'm honestly starting to resent her. I feel like this is all immature and I should be stronger than this and a protector of women but when I feel disrespect from her (and I tend to get a lot of disrespect from women in the dating world I hate to say). It's like I've invested so much and put my balls out there for this girl and now she's shooting me down and the relationships gone the complete opposite direction. I just want to pull the trigger. I'm like how the fuck can I respect myself letting this bitch do this to me and still put up with it. She does not deserve me at all.

In addition to all of this she is taking up way too much of my mental energy to where it is hurting the other areas of my life. I regret getting attached to her like this. I initially thought it was OK because I knew she was also but now I feel like it is the same as my last relationship. I feel like I'm at competition with her. I think this one just needs to get the plug pulled on although I feel like I've lost if I do it. Sounds like I just have to eat it. This fucking sucks.

Back in my AFC days, I dated a girl for 12 months without having sex. We were both virgins. By the end of it, I realized I wanted more. I believe that's why I really got so fired up about seduction when I first got into it. Making up for lost time! LOL

It boils down to having your needs met. Sex is healthy for a relationship, so find someone who can fulfill your needs.

If you're having mental anxiety about a girl, then I seriously suggest finding a new hobby or re-directing your energy into your ambitions. I work hard, and expect my girlfriend to help RELAX me, not cause problems. If we do argue, I step away, go spar some mixed martial arts, and come back with a fresh mind.

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"Imagine Being Chased By The Woman You Want" - Read The 6-Hour Seduction, Free For A Limited Time www.newdatingsystem.com

Here's the problem. Her dad doesn't want you with her, or probably any guy that isn't the cookie-cutter super-religious AFC that he pictures his daughter being with. And when she goes to her bible study every sunday, who is there with her? Daddy. he's there reinforcing his religious and personal views and force-feeding them down her throat deep into her brain. That's some hardcore conditioning and brainwashing for you to counteract. What you want is the exact opposite of what she is being conditioned and groomed to do. This is a major conflict and a huge barrier for you to overcome.

This will seem kind of fucked up, but your only option imo, if you choose it, is to try to guilt her into being with you. You can't rationalize with her. You can't threaten her. And you certainly can't expect her to come around to your point of view on her own. So all you have left in your arsenal is a guilt trip. As far as that goes, you can basically just tell her you really liked her and thought you two would be great together, but you have hurt feelings by the way she's treated you because you really are a good guy. And that being said, you'll simply have to cut all ties with her. She'll either have to take that at face value and agree to go your separate ways, or she'll try to win you back.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Ya its all a fucked up situation and this girl is to naive to see what she is passing up with me. With that being said she just got into the hottest sorority in her school so option 3 which I shall be taking is to be the best of friends with her and make friends with her whole sorority. Im thinking play hard to get.... then do the weeeeeeeeeedddddddinnnngngggggg out if yall know what I mean. Scoop that dime out of there cuz it sure isnt my girl being that she doesnt want to be with me. (haha thats arrogant hell to say but I cant help it. Its the truth.)

Yea, put HER in the friend zone and then fuck her best girlfriend at the sorority and tell her all the details and make her jealous. Then be like "I'm so glad we decided to just be friends! Otherwise I never would've met Kelly! She is such a firecracker!"

Then she can cry herself to sleep at night as she reads her bible. It's what Daddy wanted after all.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

^ that!

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I want to post an update on this. Its funny because now that things have gone up and down a little bit, I am realizing all of the BS that girls actually say and how true it is that their words are just an expression of their feelings at that moment and less of a conviction. I read this in The Way of The Superior Man and it really hit home for me.

I re-read what you wrote, Poetic, and I do agree with you that its better to find a girl in alignment with me. A big reason why this girl is messing with my head so much is that I dont have any other real potential players in the female market right now so it is tough. No excuse I know but its the truth.

ADD Medication

Ever since after the third date where this girl was all about me, I began taking ADD medication again to focus and grind out work that had to be done in short time. I just got to the point where I could relax and stop taking it yesterday and it is amazing the new perspective I have. That medication quite literally makes me care about the smallest things and stay on top of everything so much that it made me a substancial amount needier than I am without it. This girl has what seems to be her entire college doing their best to date her so it is tough not getting jealous about any other time she spends with these guys. When I am on the medication I would really get emotionally upset. When I am off of it I am so much more rational and realize how much of a joke these guys really are comparatively. I sound like I am tooting my own horn here but it is the truth about how I look at it now and it is astounding how much of a difference it was before.

Update

I hung out with this girl tonight and I had a hurricane of shit tests that fortuneatly, I did not even realize were happening half of the time because I would just freeze her out when she would try to steer the conversation in a direction that would get me jealous. The few times I lost my composure I jokingly belittled the guys she was trying to make me jealous about. With that being said it was successful in making me jealous. I think it will be clear that these guys are a joke though sooner or later. The only thing playing against me is if she wants that social proof from her school when girls are jealous that she is dating a guy that everyone wants. Since I dont go there none of the girls know who I am.

I am getting fed up with this though and am ready to look elsewhere. This girl doesnt see my value which is partially my fault for presenting myself wrong but now she is just starting to piss me off a little bit. I dont want to hang out with a girl who is constnatly trying to talk about other guys around me, who is back and fourth with her trust for me, and actively trying to tool me and lead the relationship. I know for a fact that she felt this strong from me tonight but im tired of going back and fourth here. I attribute everything to the ADD medication since that is what changed where this is going but at the same time I cant fight my feelings and if she is annoying me with how she acts then obviously im not going to be as eager to invest my time with her. If she wants to be with me I am very open to that but she will have to trust in me to lead the relationship and be comfortable getting very physical on a regular basis.

I still like her, I still have great respect for her although it is not as high as it use to be, but my time is too valuable to be poorly invested. More on this later...