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start picking up girls without acting
Ditto.
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This is the second gf I've pushed away in the past year because they were attracted to Matt, and then realized they were in a relationship with Trent... Am I supposed to keep being this other person and not let them see who I really am?
I was the same 'me' when picking up my girlfriend as I am now a year in. Sure when sarging I up my energy a little but I'm not doing magic tricks, dropping prepped lines and playing games like the Cube. That's not my personality and so if I went down that road there's going to be a discrepancy when we start a relationship.
For me pickup was learning a few concepts including negs, cocky-funny, kino, outcome independence and everything else was improving upon myself, my inner game. As I worked through my securities the gap between the pua persona and myself shrunk until the point where I can just be myself and that is attractive. I don't have a 'Matt' pua and 'Trent' day to day persona. I am one and the same. I like to think relationship me is pua me but you're just getting access to more of my time and resources (not just financial).
A different point is keeping attraction levels high as a relationship progresses. I break this down into three areas:
1. Keep improving yourself. Improve your value; work out more, push your career, improve your social circle, take up new hobbies and interests. Upping your value makes you a better catch.
2. Don't stop being who you are. Continue to tease her, make her work a little, act like a cocky arsehole every now and then. She was attracted to alpha but alpha doesn't make you a good boyfriend. In fact alpha won't become a monogamous boyfriend. Beta makes a good boyfriend / provider but is dull, often subservient and ultimately unattractive. Girls always have this quandary "Why am I attracted to such arseholes. Kevin is a dick but I just want to fuck him silly. James is so nice but I just don't fancy him..." Be a mixture of alpha and beta.
3. Continue to date each other. Schedule a weekly date night and do something interesting. Go to a tango class together, shag in the local park, go to a gig, whatever but keep injecting excitement into each other's lives. Routine and taking each other for granted are relationship killers.
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I guess my question is this... What are we here for really? To just keep cycling through girl after girl for the rest of our lives, or to establish long lasting relationships and find someone we want to be with for the rest of our lives? I want to engage in healthy relationships, but I'm not sure how to do that.
Sounds like your goal in pick up is changing. If you want to bang as many chicks as possible keep being Matt and forget relationships, commitment and monogamy. However if you do want a relationship then you need to be yourself, Trent, not your stage or pua persona but the person you are the majority of your time. You will probably find a shift in the type of girl that is attracted to Trent over Matt. Perhaps you're not going to find the Trent loving girl in a club on a Saturday night.
If you're seriously after a LTR you'll screen for a good girl and won't waste time on the freaks and hoes. You'll learn your type and more importantly what type of girl digs you. This greatly speeds up the process of finding your relationship girl. I worked out my type is arty, chilled, kooky, creative girls. I like them and they click with my way of thinking and lifestyle. Going out with a high heeled princess aint gunna work for me. Your mileage will differ.