Drew’s Journal - Day 1

A Little About Me
Hey guys, My name is Drew and I'm going to be keeping a journal on my day to day encounters and reflecting on how to improve my (social) life. Right now, I’m 17 years old and will be entering my senior year of high school next week. I'm young, but I don't care, I'm sick of this pathetic excuse for a life that I've been living recently. I do not like school, but don’t hate it either though. I have always been that shy quiet kid who never engages others in conversations. I either listen in or am sleeping. I have friends, but no social circle or group of friends which is a bit of a bummer because I do feel like I have missed out a lot on high school (and life in general) already. I am keeping this journal so that I can try to improve my terrible social skills. I am awful at holding conversations, and starting them up… especially with girls. Before a few weeks ago, I didn’t text a single girl for almost a year (I have recently improved my game since reading “The Game” a month ago). I haven’t kissed a girl in three years, and am still a virgin. Right now I have 0 girls that I talk to since the girl I was recently talking to stopped talking to me since I was to shy to make plans with her(it had been a few weeks). I got a couple of numbers from these two 5’s the other night that I met at a friend’s pool party, but their numbers got deleted from my phone somehow. I’m decent looking, and in tip top shape, and am possibly getting a scholarship for swimming, but my problem has always always always been being shy. I don’t understand why I am so reserved and have always lacked in this area. This is the main reason I am doing this, to improve my social game, not just pick up game. Well anyways, today starts a new era for TheDrew. Time for me to forget about my shy, boring past and start to take control of my life. It is not going to be as easy as I thought it would though.

My First Day In The Field
Today, I decided it was time for me to change and I took action (for once in my life). I went to the mall with my buddy, a fellow AFC, and decided to sarge some girls. I prepared an entire routine, memorized and everything, and even as I was driving to the mall I was feeling so confident, and thinking I am going to get laid by next week! What an idiot I was. In the mall, we walk around for a bit, and we spot a 2 set, HB7, HB6, in a store. We walk in and that is when I realize that I have no balls. Neither of us could bring ourselves to approach, and I felt so stupid. We walked around the mall maybe for another hour spotting a couple HB’s our age, yet I still could not bring myself to even approach never mind run my routine on her. I felt like such a jackass. This is going to be a way harder journey than I thought it was going to be.

How to Improve
Tommorow, I plan to go to the mall with a friend again, and am going to try a totally new approach to this. I realized that since I can’t even approach yet, then that will be tomorrow’s goal. I will approach every girl I see, and try to start a conversation with them (Newbie mission with a little extra) and take it as far as I can go after that.

Thoughts
So... here I am. Taking my first step to improving my life in the area I have always suffered the most at. A lot of people here, were or probably are that shy quiet guy who WANTS to be that guy who is the center of attention and life of the party. But then, as time goes on, either one of two things happen...They get used to their crappy lifestyle, accept it (if that) and convince themselves that they don't want to be that guy anyways because they are afraid to change, or…they take a stand and change themselves even if they are afraid. I have realized that it is time for me to change, rid myself of my lazy and introverted habits, and become the MAN that I have always wanted to be, but was too scared to try and put myself out there. But as of today, I don’t give a fuck anymore. Time to stop being a pussy and time to start getting some pussy.

Long Term Goals Over The Next Year
This is my first post, so I want to make a list of goals that I can look back at, to make sure I am keeping up my progress with them.
-Be a very confident person and alpha male aura to me.
-Learn piano
-Lose virginity
-Enjoy my senior year
-Have many options (girls)
-Stay in great shape, and improve swim times.
-Be naturally comfortable in social situations.
-Work on my comedy writing
-Be happy with my life, where it is, and where it is going.
-Make decisions for myself.
-Not be afraid to try new things, especially things I want to do.
-Have and make solid friends.
-Decide what I want to do after high school.

Questions I need some help with
-I love reading up on pick up and psychology things since I read the game. Any suggestions for me to read?
-How can I get rid of this nervousness and just approach?

Any other tips, help, or input would be GREATLY appreciated

Ok, so let me start by saying you just totally described me at 17. I was in my mid 20's before I got a clue. I think it's awesome that you're making an effort to improve yourself.

Try this. For the next week. Forget game, forget number closes, kiss closes and fuck closes. Don't get down on yourself, focus on how awesome it is that you have made the choice to improve your life. Make that your mantra.

Tomorrow go out. It doesn't matter if you go with a friend or go alone. Just go up and talk to random people. Make strong eye contact. Say hi. Have fun doing it...this is all about fun

Tomorrow pick a number of people to talk to. Say 10. Talk about whatever. Just have fun doing it. It doesn't matter if they're male or female, just get used to walking up to random people and having a good time.

Remember this is like any skill. Start with fundementals.

Drew's Journal - Day 2

So Saturday, my friend forgot he had work and I had to go to the mall alone and do the newbie mission. I took the guy's advice who posted a reply, and decided to just try and talk to ten people.

Strategy
Say hi, and ask a follow up question

Goal
Talk to at least ten strangers

What Happened
I got to the mall, and I already knew this wasn't going to go down well. I was already thinking to much, and I did not expect to go alone at this today. But, this was probably for the best, so into the mall I went. I didn't talk to anybody the first 20 minutes or so. I was very frustrated with myself, so I decided to take a break and I got some ice cream from dairy queen. After the ice cream I mustered up all my courage and went at it again. I walked for about five minutes, then I saw a 2 set of girls, nothing special, and I went up to them and said "hi, do you guys know where blah store is?" They told me then giggled, got awkward, I said thanks and walked away. I decided that was enough for today since I felt terrible at the moment, so then I started to walk out, then I remembered I had to return a pair of sunglasses I bought a while ago. I decided to put it off to the next time I came.

Reflection
I approached two people, so I failed miserably. I also was not comfortable in the interaction at all. I feel that if I had a wing I would feel much more comfortable, but I think it is better for me anyways if I don't bring somebody. I still have a long way to go. I also need to stop being lazy, I should have returned the sunglasses, I just did not want to interact with people anymore after the first set. After, while I'm typing this I realized that I'm being rediculous, I know next time I will be approaching way more people, and redoing the goal. I should be going to the mall again either tommorow or Monday. I will talk to ten people this time no matter what...

Questions
-Why do I get so embarassed and flustered after talking to someone, like I feel like I just embarrased myself, but reading back, it was just a normal interaction???
-Anything you suggest I read?
-Input is always appreciated

You literally just described the exact situation I'm in (I'm 17). Also, the thing lor0001 said about the mantra - that's awesome, I'm going to use it!

Good luck to both of us!

Thanks Auroaturtle! Glad to know I'm not the only one out there with these problems. Good luck in your journey as well.. Keep me updated too man!

Quick update: I had a family party that went on pretty much all day today, and there isn't much to do on Sunday nights so there was no sarging today. But, I did come to a realization about something today, which is that I am not happy with the lifestyle I have been living recently. I know if I want to get to where I want to be I have to stop being scared to take chances, and start making decisions for myself. So, with that being said, from here on out I'm going to be a totally different person, a new and improved me. I will not give a fuck about what other people think (another problem I used to have). I will follow through on plans and work I have to do (I used to be a rediculous procrastinator). And now, I just need time to show that this won't just be all talk. So, starting tmm I will be at the mall for as long as necessary with a wing or not, until I make at least one attempt at a number close. I also have forgotten that a lot of girls work in stores too, I would usually just go to the mall and make circles around it and maybe hit one or two stores. This time I'm going in to as many as I can and try to make convo with at least 10 people.

Tommorow's Goals:
-Try and make conversation with 10 strangers
-Try and number close at least 1 girl, rejection does not matter to me at this point.

Awesome guys! Keep it up and keep posting updates.

Drew's Journal - Day 3

Strategy
direct natural, going to 2 malls.

Goal
Talk to at least ten strangers
1 number close

What Happened
Alright, today was another failure. I had to go to the mall alone again, because all my friends either had work or football. I hate going to the mall alone. The first mall I went to was packed with people, and most of the people were much older than me or families. The only thing I was able to accomplish was have a quick chat with an old guy sitting on the same bench as me at some point, and finally returned my sunglasses. I saw a couple of girls in stores that I could have approached but I pussyed out every single time.

I decided go to a different mall after a half hour or so , and as I was leaving, I watched a guy (23ish) walk up to an HB9 and he started to talk to her like it was nothing. The guy had a bright pink tee and crooked hat and looked like the biggest idiot to me, but as I pretended to be waiting for someone, I watched him get rejected. I was so amazed, because after he got rejected he shook it off like nothing and talked to another girl 5 minutes later (yes I followed him a bit lol, mall was packed, so he didn't even notice) and he got her number!

I left the mall right after that for the one right near where I live, and was very inspired and confident going in thanks to that guy. In the mall though, I was still confident but I could just never bring myself to approach anyone even though there were SHB's everywhere, most talent I had ever seen in a mall.. Why am I being such a pussy about this.

Reflection
I approached two people, (old man, and girl who worked in sunglasses store). They should not even count. I am pathetic. I think this would be a hell of a lot easier if I had a wingman. And I know that once I finally break this damn barrier of just approaching a girl, it will be a hell of a lot easier to approach after that. Its funny to, because if I think about it, it should be easy for me, I'm a good looking guy, great style, in great shape, but its not because I still lack social skills, or social balls for that matter. Because it does not take skill to approach some strange pretty girl just balls, and what comes after that is just words and confidence mixed together and boom you get her number. I would like to thank pinkshirted guy for showing me that I need to man up to get girls, doesn't matter what I say after that much, just do the damn approach. So I'm going to read some stuff on approaching people tonight and try this again tommorow, hopefully with a wingman, but if I must I'll go at it alone again. Almost all of my friends have girlfriends right now and I think it would be fun if I had someone to double date with because I feel left out of the loop a bit. So a number close is my holy grail goal again, plus a goal of interacting with at least 5 sets of strangers. I will conquer this shit.

Questions
-Approaching tips or tricks?
-Is it wierd to feel wierd when you go to the mall by yourself, because I did today?

Any help is appreciated guys [/u]

Dude, you're putting too much pressure on yourself.

Going to the mall alone is perfect. If you have a wing it's easy to make excuses and talk to your wing the whole time. If you have a wing and you're in a good conversation he can totally fuck it up for you. Look at being alone as an opportunity. Crazy fact but Julius Caesar used to dismount at the front of him army sending his horse away and fight in the front lines. He did this to send the message that there would be no retreat.

Look at it the same way. Going out alone like that you have no crutch, no wing to hide behind. You are accountable only to yourself. Give yourself no option but to succeed.

And talk to EVEYONE don't just scope the mall looking for a hot girl. Don't just leave if you don't find one.

This isn't about success or failure. It's about improvement.

Drew's Journal- Day 5

Thanks for the advice lor0001, I have to loosen up a bit, I'll try that next time.

Strategy
None

What Happened
Today, I woke up to my friend calling me to go school shopping at the mall today (
I've completely forgotten the fact that school starts for me tomorrow). We got to the mall, bought some stuff and again I passed on every oppurtunity to talk to fellow mall goers. I probably should just stick to doing this alone, only way I'll be able to make progress. Had one good interaction though, made small chitchat with a girl my age working at some smoothie store. She was an HB7 and I knew for a fact she found me attractive as we made small talk, but for some reason, I froze up and literally could not think of what to say. That's where having a strategy and some back up lines would help here. Well, long story short I walked away feeling like I wasted another oppertunity to take a step forward in my PUA journey. But, at least she kind of knows who I am and I can try it again with her next week this time with a plan.

Reflecton
JUST APPROACH MAN!!! This is the step I have been stuck on, I know what to say and I know nothing bad will happen if I do, I just need to break the damn barrier, and I will...one day. Maybe school tomorrow will help me loosen up a bit and lose my nerves. Really considering drinking a little bit before school, maybe I should do that before the mall to? Just enough to loosen up, not drunk lol. This is just a thought so don't hammer me for suggesting this, let me know what you think...

Questions
-Any other tips for ridding of this horrid AA I have?!?!?

Well I am in the same boat as you. Only I am 30 yrs old. Was dumped two years ago and was hoping that she returned, haven't been speaking to any girls lately. Yesterday sitting at home alone for an hour doing absolutely nothing at all made me realize my apathy. So decided to visit a mall near my work place. After work today is gonna be make my debut. Lets see if I can see women way past their heart breaking skills, from which i have been recuperating for the last two yrs.

Got to your post by searching "mall", and yours was the first. Liked your post and will be coming back with my story as well, if u don't mind.

BRO you downing yourself constantly, this is your world you create it! negativity breeds negativity. You have to keep a positive state of mind.
Everytime you step into a room you have to think "this is going to be MY room, i'm gonna RUN THIS BITCH".

What I suggest is a section of the journal where you count the positive things of the day.

Victro - It's great that you realized you have to get out there, now the next step is actually taking action. Can't wait to hear how it goes man.

Great 1- Yeah I know. I think that's a really good idea, I'll add a positive things part to the journal, thanks man.

Quick Update
Today was my first day of school, and it went great! The one and only problem though, is that there are seriously almost no attractive girls in my classes except for one or two. I reconnected with a lot of old friends I had stopped keeping contact with over the summer, so that was good. I'm going to be switching a few classes around though, so there is still a chance for better girls Not that I would be able to do anything though lol. But I felt a lot better than I have lately regarding being social. I felt really good about myself going into today, I looked fresh as hell, new haircut, nice clothes, gum..I think that is really important for me to be confident, so that was good. I'm feeling this will be my best year yet. Now if only I could talk to girls... Overall it was a stellar first day of school.

Long day, so I wont be going to the mall today, I might tomorrow, but for now I'm just going to relax and watch the cowboys giants game tonight (I'm a HUGE football fan).I got 20 bucks on the cowboys winning, so let''s see what happens lol.

Drew's Journal - Day 6

Computer has been messed up the past few days so I haven't been able to post lately. Anyways, I didn't do much Thursday or Friday, but I finally made a breakthrough on Saturday.

Saturday, I finally was able to get myself out of the house and went to the gym with two good friends. I have to work out more, I have really been slacking lately. After, we played some basketball and I made some new friends. I'd been wanting to go out again, so I asked my friend if he wanted to do something tonight. We ended up going out to this really nice mall ten minutes from my house. It was one of the better nights I've had recently.

Strategy
-Be fearless
-Strike up situational and normal conversations
-Have fun

Goal
Approach and interact with strangers

What Happened
First, I want to tell you guys about this show, "Impractical Jokers". I watched it for the first time Thursday night, and I got to tell you, it is the funniest show I have ever seen (If you've never seen the show, it is about four guys who have to do and say rediculously funny things to strangers). But it also showed me how I can break out of my extreme approach fear. My friend is also a fan of the show, and we decided to push each other to do funny things to strangers like on that show.

So, we got to the mall and headed to the food court because we were starving. There was an average looking (4.5) chick sitting down at a table right next to where we were in line, and my friend told me to say a joke from the show to her. And some how I easily did it. Here is how it went down...
Me:Hi, how are you
(4): Good..
Me: I just had to tell you you have really nice hair.
(4): Oh thank you (smiling)
Me:Can I ask you something though?
(4):sure
Me: Do the drapes match the carpet?

My friend started laughing and the girl did not get the joke, and I just said never mind and moved up in line. That interaction definetly opened me up for later though. After we got our food, we sat down at a table near the food place's window. Outside the window was a girl (6) sitting alone at a table. She was probably 20 I would say. I made eye contact with her at some point, so I waved and she she smiled and waved back. I went back to eating my food and talking with my bud until I saw her looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I whipped my head around really fast and made a wide eyed funny face at her, and she started to crack up along with my friend. A few minutes later after we finished eating, we walked out of the store, and the girl opened me with something like hi blah blah, then I said something like nice day aint it, then just kept walking. I should of had a conversation with her.

I had a few other encounters like this, and talked to a janitor woman for a few minutes, she seemed very happy I talked to her, which helped me realize that people do enjoy having strangers tallking to them, well at least workers. Anyways, the funniest part of the night came when we walked by this store where some hot girls were pretending to be manicans in a window trying to scare people. Luckily for me, I saw them get somebody in the distance so I knew what was coming. We walked up to the glass and when they tried to scare us, I just walked up to the glass stared at the HB7 confused, then I stuck my tongue out and motioned my head up like I was licking her, then winked. She was in shock, and her friends were laughing hard. Looking back we probably should of went into the store, but we just kept walking.

We went to catch a movie after but my friend forgot his ID so he couldn't get a ticket and I couldn't buy him one since I'm only 17. I asked the girl behind the counter if she wanted 5 bucks as a joke, but she did not find it funny and asked us to leave.

Finally, the best part of the night. Before we left the mall, we stopped at Dunkin Donuts to get a coffee. There was a cute HB8 working behind the counter maybe 17 or 18 years old. Aftr we ordered, while we waited at the counter for our coffee, me and my friend were having an arguement about how good Rob Gronkowski will do this football season. The girl seemed to be listening in, so without even thinking, I asked for her opinion. She talked A LOT. I got maybe 10 sentences in and I talked to her for maybe seven minutes. The people behind us must have been pissed, because she talked to us for a while before she took the next persons order lol. Anyways, some key parts of the interaction, she was playing with her hair the whole time, smiling, and asked where I was from. I figured she liked me, but really wasn't sure because she said she had a long day and she probably just wanted to talk to somebody. Towards the end of the conversation, my anxiety came back and I just ejected myself and said have a good day. No clue why I did that, I did not even attempt a number close, all I know is I just wanted to get out of there. I was pissed at myself after, but then I realized that I finally completed my goal of approaching people, and I really had little to no AA all night.



Reflection
I will admit I was high most of the night. I almost never smoke (it was my 3rd time), but looking back, it really helped my game. I don't like to smoke, but if it helps my game like this, maybe using them as training wheels for a while isn't such a bad idea. I hope I run into that DD (Dunkin Donuts) girl again. I get oneitis so easily, need to work on that.

Positive Things of the Day
-Approached tons of people (20+) and made a lot laugh or at least smile
-Had a really fun night (until I found out my car got hit when it was parked at my friends house), but still a fun night
-And I think a lot of girls like me when I talk more or do funny things. I was even rude to one group of girls, and my friend overheard one of those girls say I wish he just said hi (I told them to move out of my my way, jokingly tone though).

Sorry that was really long lol.

Questions
-Are there any tricks or tips to keep a conversation rolling when it starts to die???

Well my first day at the mall, went a lil sad, on reflection though I have to say that the mall was kinda empty. The food court was buzzing though, but I would have had to break a group which I wasn't very confident of.
So I staked out various locations where the ice could be broken. Noticed that while entering most targets were on the phone, trying to get in touch with somebody waiting for them getting/giving directions.
So have decided the exit area, where ppl were kinda more relaxed was a good area for approaching.
BTW I spent the weekend in Goa, it was a preplanned trip. Enjoyed myself. And on the way home got a HB5.5 number.
We were trying to charge phones and I was definitely loitering around that area, finally I decided on her. I had a long conversation, tried a few jibes, well it worked fine, I think, coz I got her number. SMSed her today too....lets see where that goes.
Now off to the mall....

Keep at it Victro! And, I find it is easyiest to first to talk to some store employees at the mall to loosen up a bit first, then it will be a little bit easier to approach people walking around the mall.