I got into a huge fight with my now ex-gf last night after she disrespected me. Long story short, she ditched me to go to another bar while I was helping one of her drunk friends get home safely. When I caught up with her at the bar, she was with her girlfriend chatting to 2 dudes. I'm not normally jealous, but I was really upset at the fact that she left me hanging while I stayed behind to help out one of HER drunk friends. Anyway, I walked out of the bar and she chased after me apologizing but I told her to grab her things from my apartment and leave.

She tried texting and calling me later that night, but I was obviously still angry and was already in bed. I haven't heard from her since.

Everything was honestly going great up until last night (we were together 6 months), but I was a little drunk and exhausted and I just sort of jumped to a conclusion. I kind of regret breaking up with her in the heat of the moment and we should have discussed it like mature adults in a relationship.

Now she's never done anything like this before and if she honestly comes around and sincerely apologizes, I may be willing to consider forgiving her. However, I'm just wondering if the rules of No Contact still apply if I was the one that broke up with her?

You probably did not set the right boundaries in the beginning for her to do that. Or maybe she just doesn't respect you as much as you thought.

Could also be that she's the type of girl that doesnt think when she drinks. How long did she leave you there for? did she say anything? Was there a reason or she just went to chill there? Was she drinking a lot. Did you guys argue prior to that event? Is her friend a bitch and a bad influence? These questions should help you pinpoint the problem. She will probably contact you.

Your username sounds familiar, I think you made a post a while back about your girl doing something wrong and people told you to dump her. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Hey Sly,

To answer your questions, Yes, she was wasted last night. I had other plans but showed up late to the party stonecold sober but everyone else was already drunk (including my gf).

She left me for about 15 mins while I took care of her friend. She always gets stuck babysitting her friend when she gets wasted that she left out of frustration. She said she needed to go get a drink, but that's no excuse for leaving me hanging with HER friend. I actually called her to come back to help me with her friend and she said she'd be over right away. Fast forward 15 mins and still no sign of her. I finally catch up with her at the bar and she's in there just hanging out. When she realized I was angry, she tried apologizing but I was way too upset at this point to hear anything she had to say. We didn't fight at all prior to this...in fact, everything was going great. I honestly think she just got frustrated with her friend being so wasted...but still, that's no excuse to blatantly disrespect me like that, especially after I asked her to come back to help me.

And about my other posts, yes I had some issues with this same girl before but it had to do with family issues she was going through at the time. We worked through that and it has never become and issue since.

Not sure what I should do about this girl. Right now she's in defensive mode and being angry at me for being angry at her. But if I know her correctly, she'll quickly break and contact me.

My whole issue is if I can get over this level of disrespect. Yes, it was the first time that she's done this and I also get that she was wasted and just wasn't thinking but she needs to know that I am willing to walk away if I'm not being treated well. Is it a case of 1 strike and you're out? Or should I be open to forgive if she genuinely apologizes?

I thought she went to another bar dude lol forgive her if you...forgive her. Set some boundaries but don't talk to her with anger. Sort it out in a calm manner and if you both can come to an understanding then you can give it another chance. Actions speak louder so if she misbehaves in a way that you warned her you wouldn't like, then it's up to you if you feel there's no point pursuing it further. She may also never make that mistake again so who knows.

Yeah she did go to another bar. We left the first bar after her friend got too drunk and I was getting her friend home. But my gf ditched me while I was practically carrying her friend to go have drinks. So not cool.

Yeah I'm still pretty angry so I'm going to have to chill out until I speak to her again. If you were in my shoes, would you wait until she contacts you? Or would you wait until your were ready to talk then initiate? Like I said, she tried to contact me yesterday but I was too angry to answer. So in the meantime I guess it's safe to say she got the hint. She hasn't tried contacting me since.

I don't see a problem with what you did, you were wise to make sure her friend got home safe, and she was a shitty friend to leave her friend there, and an even shittier girlfriend to get mad at you for wanting to get her home safe, and then going and talking with some random guys.

IMO you made a wise choice.

Should you take her back? that is something you will have to ask your self? I think you can work thing out, but some ground rules need to be set! I also think you should let her know what she did was wrong, selfish and you thought she was a better person than that.

I really don't know your gf well enough to tell you what to do, perhaps she is a whore? lol who knows? or mabey she was just drunk, and did something stupid, either way it was wrong!

Thanks for the advice TonyKing. I wasn't upset because she was talking to the 2 guys, I was upset because she ditched me with her friend and even after I called her to come back and help me, she decided to take her sweet time at the bar. When I confronted her, she was saying she was just planning on finishing her beer then was going to come....but it looked like she had no intention of coming back. I'm not sure if she was truly apologizing or was just apologizing because she knew I was upset.

I don't like to play freezeout games, especially with gfs, but I'm not sure how to handle this. I want her to know that I will not stand for being disrespected, but I also want to give her an opportunity to explain herself and for us to discuss this like mature adults.

Should I just wait for her to contact me and then arrange a talk? Or should I be the one to initiate contact? I love her and am willing to forgive her, but I don't want her to think that she can get away with something like this and have everything be OK.

of course she was apologizing because she knew you were mad at her.
if you had simply walked to the bar, pecked her cheek, and said "hey guys what's up?" she would have simply said "hey honey all is well. was finishing a beer. btw, meet X and Y"

where she was sincere was "I am sorry that I got you mad by being a stupid bitch"
that part was probably true. the "I am sorry I stood you up and came here to get even more drunk and started chatting with random guys" was not sincere. to her, that behavior was acceptable. either because it is, or because she was drunk and unable to realize it is not.

if it is a one-time shot in an otherwise perfect relationship, I think you got your message across. now it would be time for you to call her, ask to meet, and discuss the situation as mature adults. if she sounds like she got the hint, then give her another chance. if not, next.

_________________
nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Talk to her and sort this out. Call her man. I was in a similar situation and I fucked up because of my ego. Remember you are not gaming her any more, you are in a relationship, she's your girl.

Do it before she starts seeing some other guy!

Hey Guys,

Just a quick update on this. So after about 2 days of no contact, I sent her a text saying that we left things off on such a bad note and that we both deserve better than that. At first, she was still very cold and not willing to meet up to talk. However, after a few texts back and forth, she warmed back up and we decided to meet.

We were both able to get everything off our chests and she apologized for her actions and said that the fight was a big wake up call for her. She said that she's been so used to having control of relationships and pretty much walking all over her ex bfs that it was shocking for a guy to finally stand up to her. And when she knew I was willing to walk, it made her realize how much she wanted me. I also apologized for reacting the way I did and jumping to conclusions instead of giving her a chance to explain herself.

It was honestly one of the best talks that I've had with a gf in my life. We were both mature, respectable toward each other and truly listened to one another. Our relationship has honestly never been better. We both emerged from this fight with a better appreciation of what we have and how much we mean to each other.

dump the bitch, be alpha!!!



...lo j/k but now that you have the upper hand. Be cool calm and collective all the time and she will be all over you. Hopefully she won't test you anymore on that level.

Congratulations on sorting things out.

Did you discuss boundaries with her? ie find a way to avoid the situation in the future?