| The reasoning behind having a system for seducing on 1st dates (or maximum on 2nd date) is that it's much more likely you will develop an intimate relationship if you get physical earlier on. If you make the mistake of falling into the traditional dating frame you will be forever going out on dates where SHE decides it's time to 'give up the goods.' You'll be in a supplicating position where you "want" something from her and SHE will be in control of the relationship at all times.
Women prefer to be led, and do not like being put into the position where they are in charge. If you do not take the lead you can be sure she will. At the same time as losing your own value, you make it increasingly unlikely that she will be excited enough by you to view you as a potential lover. Sex between men and women is the way in which we show that we like each other, it is the most natural thing in the world and is something that is SHARED, NOT where you want something from her.
You need to manage the situation to avoid falling into the trap of making her take charge, and slotting you neatly into a position where she is leading and placing YOU into the 'withhold sex' category. You need to get physical early on, after sex you can then consider the relationship on a more equal footing.
When you start out you will probably find that you end up seducing most of your dates on 1st dates. If you can develop a consistent system of seducing on 1st dates, you can be pretty sure that she will be yours when she meets you. All you need to do is get solid numbers, meet her and follow the advice here and you are well on your way to becoming seriously effective with women.
The following is a general framework to work within. You need to adapt within this framework in order to get consistent success.
1st principle : Location location location.
Make sure you meet her in a location that is close to your house. You can then be relaxed that you have an easier time of extraction. Generally, the further away from an extraction location you are, the more hassle it is to get her back to your house, especially if it involves long periods of standing around waiting for buses or taxis etc. Guess what she will be thinking about whilst you are in the cold, in these queues?
You need to be effective at managing a woman's state. You can view a girl as a shifting cloud of emotion, fluctuating and changing like the weather. Contained within this cloud there is a needle with 0 (won't go to bed with him) and 1 (will go to bed with him). It's your job to keep that needle over at 1 as much as possible, or get effective and have the ability to YANK it over to 1 when the time is right. So, stack the odds in your favour and meet her somewhere around your house so that it becomes a natural thing to return to yours after a great night out without long awkward waits for buses or taxis where her state may drop. You can actually SEE this happening with experience as she starts to consider what she is doing and makes all sorts of logical rationalizations and panics that she is doing the wrong thing.
2nd principle : She is already your girlfriend.
Women like to be lead and they they like a man with a strong identity. It follows then that if you act in a certain way they will fall in line with your behaviour and be more comfortable with it.
So, when you meet the girl for a 1st date, immediately establish the vibe that she is already your girlfriend. If you were in a healthy relationship, how would you greet your girlfriend?
With familiarity and rapport. Smile and be confident. Touch her straight away – e.g. give her a little hug. KISS HER, on the lips. If she turns her head, don't worry about it. If you're feeling cocky, smack her on the bum.
Acting this way is great because you immediately make her feel comfortable. It may seem a little weird at first but think back to any dates you have had where you went out, made awkward conversation, chatted about nonsense subjects, didn't know what to do, whether to kiss her etc. Did it seem natural to you? Or was it awkward? If it was awkward, why? BECAUSE IT IS UNNATURAL!
Conversely think of a date where it all went well. How different was it? Why was the dynamic different? If you follow the guidelines here, you can REPRODUCE these kind of dates with amazing consistency, the kind where both parties will say "we both just clicked".
When a girl meets you for a 1st date, you must assume she likes you. She would not be there otherwise (most girls have a hectic social calendar, especially in the larger cities). SHE WANTS TO GET TO KNOW YOU MORE!! So, take the lead. You like her too, so SHOW IT, straight away. When you see her do you think she looks sexy? Tell her! Kiss her if you want to, don't wait. THE LONGER YOU LEAVE IT THE HARDER IT GETS!
Other little tips :
Try and go somewhere quite intimate. Avoid bright lights and loud noisy places. Avoid places where the clientele are liable to be very good looking!
Avoid places where the bar staff may be snobby or make you wait a long time for a drink.
3rd principle – Do not try to "impress" her
If there is one single piece of the puzzle that is absolutely KEY, it is this. Never try to "impress" a woman.
This needs clarification : by trying to impress I mean:
Doing something out of the ordinary with the express purpose of making a woman like you, or be impressed enough by you, to consider sleeping with you or offering any kind of sexual favours.
e.g. Taking her to an exceptionally expensive restaurant, paying for everything, to show her how much money you have and how you can look after her, etc etc.
As a tactic to get women, it may actually work, in a limited way. You may get laid by certain types of women by doing it.
As a means of keeping your self respect, and getting women who like you for YOU, it stinks.
You can find out very simply if you are trying to impress by listening to that voice inside that we all have. Ask: am I doing this action in order to make her like me?
There is a fine distinction to make here: of course you will be as witty and charming as you can be, and you will show her a good time and expect her to reciprocate in kind. But you must NOT try and bamboozle her and show off, or do anything in a way that is unlike your usual self in order to fit in with what you think SHE wants. This does not mean of course that you do not want to make a girl happy, of course you do. But in the early stages of a relationship, if you want the relationship to be based on a solid foundation and know that she likes you just for WHO YOU ARE, the date should be about finding out about each other. The location, what you are doing etc, is almost irrelevant (though of course some venues are more suited to seductions than others.)
If the dynamic is set up that you are acting in such a way to try and win her favour instead of finding out who you are as people, then you are on the wrong track.
4th principle - Lead
The principle of leading can be applied at ALL times with women. However in the case of 1st dates it is within the context of having a rough plan in mind and moving smoothly towards your end goal. The plan might be something like this :
8pm : Meet a x place. Go to local bar
9:30 : Leave bar and venue change to a more intimate bar
10:30 : Walk near to house and ask what wine she likes, get wine
11:00 : Be in house with her, make love
It can happen much more quickly or slowly than this, of course, and you may wish to vary your dates.
So, what does it mean to lead the interaction?
You have your plan in your mind, you know what you are going to do. You meet her and greet her as a girlfriend. In a dominant but fun way you lead her towards the first venue (this is an excellent time to establish playful kino as described in section 1).
Your whole being and persona should be about LEADING. You should lead her throughout the date. You can ask her opinion on things but in a gentlemanly but firm way, YOU decide what will happen on the "date". Instead of asking where she wants to go, calmly and confidently (and with humour) say things like
"We're off to this amazing bar xxxx. The barmen look like Tom Cruise and eat fire while they serve you"…
When you arrive say things like "Looks like Tom's got a night off, never mind…" etc, etc.
There is a difference between leading and pushing. Leading is where you exert your masculine power and take her where she already wants to go (but won't admit it since she wants YOU to take the lead and show her these qualities). Pushing is where you are trying to force her unwillingly. Always bear in mind that she is interested in you, it shouldn't even be a question that she is not going to enjoy what you have planned.
So you are in the venue and you must lead. You must escalate and get the vibe sexual but not TOO sexual for fear of pushing her too far.
Avoid talking TOO much. You want to get to know her and get her to know you but the sexual tension is the first and most important aspect to establish. After you have established this vibe where you are comfortable touching each other in an intimate way (but not too intimate!)you can get to know each other better but the sexual tension MUST be there to begin with.
5th principle : Don't worry about social conventions
There is a lot of Pick up literature which states that you should always have a CHEAP date in mind. The underlying point is correct but it is easily open to misinterpretation. You should read from this that you shouldn't set up the dynamic that you are there to IMPRESS her by buying her things, as a way of currying favour and trying to get sex. You should instead be thinking along the lines of: this date is a chance to get to know each other, to see how we get along, I already know she likes me, let's find out if she's a cool girl. Sex is not something to worry about, it will happen if the vibe is right.
Whilst you shouldn't stress about getting sex, you also shouldn't stress about social norms – whether to buy drinks etc. Just imagine she is your friend. If it's natural to buy her drinks then do so but DO NOT let her take advantage of you and DO NOT buy her drinks in the hopes of winning favours i.e sex. If she's a student and you're rich then it may seem fairer to you to buy lots more drinks. Your main focus should be : does she appear to be INVESTING in the time together. Don't be concerned with whoever is spending the money.
6th principle : What do we talk about?
As a general principle, you should actually avoid talking TOO much on a 1st date. This may sound bizarre at first but consider how men and women relate. Think back to all the times you have talked to women. How was the dynamic different after you had gone to bed together? Did you find that just before sex (when you both knew it was going to happen) and after sex, you talked about different things than you did before? Did you feel that in some way, the masks were put aside and now you were relating on a REAL level?
Having said this though, there are certain topics of conversation are better suited to women within the most common target age range (19-25) than others….Here are some examples:
Travel
Relationships
Pets
Live events such as concert or theatre
Books
Fitness, especially running.
There are certain topics that should be avoided. Here are a few:
Politics
Religion
Overly long conversations about careers
The reason is that it is too easy to get trapped in the dynamic of talking incessantly about something that just squeezes the life out of any sexual tension between the two of you. Also, talking about these subjects can lead to differences in viewpoints that should best be left until AFTER you are lovers…You do not want to start arguing with her about left / right wing topics or whether god exists on a first date.
General principles of good conversations with women on a date:
• Fun.
• Lighthearted.
• Open to sexual misinterpretation.
• Easy to transition onto FEELINGS and EMOTIONS.
• Avoid logical debates or overly long conversations about career or other non sexual subjects.
And if it all goes wrong….
You need to grab control back of the situation. Lean back, pause. Deliver one of the powerful statements listed in section one to get the topic on a sexual plane again and move the interaction along.
7th principle : Establish sexual tension
It is ridiculously easy to establish kino on a 1st date and get the vibe sexual. You will be presented with countless opportunities. Read the section on physical escalation for further detail but here are some examples of how you could get things physical at any point :
You : So you like going to the gym eh?
girl : Of course, I go 3 * a week
You : Fuck. Hmm. But your arms are kinda chicken like (feel them), make a chicken noise.
Nice thighs tho (grab her thigh and move hand up and down it)
Another little trick is to text her as she gets up to go to the toilet : send something like "Nice ass, {insert name}"…Virtually guaranteed to get her laughing and get the vibe right.
As a general rule of thumb, you should establish a strong sexual vibe but not go too far in the venue. The degree to which girls differ on their views on public displays of affection vary enormously : it's best to play it safe and get kissing with her but then withdraw if things start to get too heavy (i.e genital contact). Say something like "Not in here, its too soon.."
8th Principle – form a close connection
When sexual tension is established (and you should keep alive by periodically spiking her attraction spikes), you need to get a connection with the girl.
9th principle – What she is DOING, not what she is SAYING
This general principle is key throughout a 1st date. Women will throw up all sorts of roadblocks to test you out in the interaction…It is your job to navigate past them and be able to respond accordingly.
Try and apply the principle of (i) A strong frame and (ii) Watching what she is doing, NOT what she is saying.
For example, as you leave the venue, assume she is coming back with you. Start to steer the path back to your place..Ask her what kind of wine she likes, red or white. Go to the nearest off licence and pick up a bottle and make sure you consult her with it. You will doubtless be tested as you walk home, things like :
girl: We're not going to have sex tonight…
Now, you can choose to answer this logically and try and get into a debate about why you should have sex. If you do so, it is virtually gauranteed you will have a date with your right hand for the rest of the night.
Instead, deal with the objection. Use the frame control techniques. Use humour, active or passive frame control but DO NOT ENGAGE her on this topic.
Watch what she is doing. Is she compliant with you? Keep her laughing and in a good state. Get romantic when you get to the door. Do you like her? Then show it! Act silly, lift her off her feet, carry her over the door etc and joke about how heavy she is (unless she is fat of course!)
At all times, keep your eyes on what she is DOING, NOT what she is saying. As long as she is not SCREAMING at you and clearly showing that she does NOT want to come back with you, you can deal with this as a token objection that most women will say to rationalize "it wasn't my fault"…
AT NO POINT SHOULD YOU EVER FORCE A WOMAN TO DO WHAT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO DO. IF SHE IS PHYSICALLY OR STRONGLY OBJECTING TO ANYTHING YOU SAY, STOP IMMEDIATELY AND BACK OFF. _________________ The natural "Steve" who trained Richard La Ruina (Gambler)
http://www.authenticpua.com/primal-seduction/
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CHAT