This is easily the biggest problem I face. Even when I'm feeling confident and in a good frame of mind, this always makes things harder for me and sometimes makes me hesitate to speak or it causes me to think before I speak.

When I wanna say a long and complex phrase, sometimes I have to trim the phrase down otherwise I will stumble over my words and stutter and the person would be like "what?" which would affect my confidence if it happens over and over again. It's like the longer the phrase, the more I struggle to say it without messing up.

For example, if I wanted to say:
I haven't seen you around lately man, where've you been?

I'd probably have to trim it down to this:
Haven't seen you around lately, where you been?

If they don't understand me(due to mumbling or possibly stumbling over a word) I'd trim it down even more to this:
Where've you been lately?


I try to deal with these problems of mine by slowing down my speach and focusing on every word to make sure it comes out right..

I don't have a big "stuttering" issue like some people you see who really have problems with stuttering and can hardly get a word out. I just tend to stumble over my words when I say long sentences and I really struggle to get my words out smoothly. when I speak it tends to be quite blocky instead of coming out nice and smoothly.

My mumbling and stumbling over my words both hold me back a lot, but at least with mumbling I can force myself to speak louder, but with stumbling over my words it's harder cause I have to slow down my speach and emphasise every word , which at times can make me sound a bit robotic. I'd like advice on both areas though.

Will really appreciate any sort of help or links. There doesn't seem to be much in youtube.

This is easily my biggest sticking point in my game. If I could sort out this problem it would improve my confidence a lot and I wouldn't hesitate to speak as much as I do right now.

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The Asian Don(in the future anyways... )

I'm not a speech guy but sounds like the root of your issue is straight up confidence.Rather than looking for things like stuttering and what not, I would literally look to build my confidence. Find a great confidence book and follow it pretty closely.

When you study body language closely, lowered speech patterns are a signs of discomfort, one interesting thing about confident people is they tend to be very comfortable. Also when you study lie detection when someone talks lower it means they aren't confident in their words so they talk lower when they lie.

I don't think the root of your problem is speech related, I believe it is psychological (Disclaimer: I'm not a Psychologist, don't take this for written word). You are thinking far more than you are doing, I don't think there is anything more you should be doing if your confidence is that unstable. If you have to practice talking to less threatening people like older folks, guys, and less attractive women so you can get comfortable flirting with women. Find a confidence coach or book and follow their directions closely to build unshakable confidence.

Peace and Love

Victor

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

Hey man thanks for the reply, I think you may be right.

My inner confidence is definitely very unstable. It's like it's on a boat, it tends to go up and down. One day I feel like a confident beast and on other days I feel like a tiny mouse....I gotta sort this out.

I have noticed that my speach problems are a lot worse when I'm nervous or uncomfortable, but I still believe I do have some speach problems I need to sort out.

Even with my family who I feel fine around, I sometimes tend to mumble and stumble over my words, but it's not as bad.. The mumbling is most likely a bad habit I have to kill. Stumbling over my words, I guess I just have to speak louder and clearer and make that a habit...but it's tough and I haven't seen that much progress.

I'm currently reading through a confidence self help book to work on my inner confidence, but if anyone knows of any links that can help me with my speach issues, that would be brilliant.

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The Asian Don(in the future anyways... )