Hey everyone, Im new here and I know Im an AFC and I just graduated high school, going into uni.

I hope this is the right area to post this.

okay heres the situation
theres two people
m and n (in their sr. yr of hs)
i like m
n is m's best friend
both are girls
m and n were both going to go out for dnr with me on wed
but n had some family thing that came up so she couldnt come
doesn't matter cause im interested in m
but m said why not do another day
and i said i cant really busy this weeknd, we can just do sat with n
and still go on wed together
then we did, and it passed

on wed we were supposed to get dnr and watch movie
so the night
i meet her, she tells me shes on her period do u want to eat dnr b4 or after
i said after
then we watched movie
after movie she wasn't hungry (but shes like that she only eats when she wants to)
and then she said she doesn't like bussing
and then we went home separtely after that
no kiss close
we held hands for a while during movie
i tried to escalate kino throughout the whole hangout.

now heres the problem
i dont even think i mentioned to n about sat dnr
...and right now its fri night
had a dry fb convo with m because she was busy doing some stuff, so i got slow replies, after the convo i asked her about sat
and m said i was supposed to talk to n about the plans
so i didn't reply to m after that

so
i txtd n at 7pm, no reply
called her at 10pm, no reply

m already goes offline from fb 11pm

so i called her, but it went straight to "the caller youv reached is unavail." w/o a dial tone. so im not sure if she canceled or her phone is off. either way its best to assume she got a missed call notif.

EDIT: 12/0 am got a txt from n saying shes drunk whts going on tmw
replied and said "LOL we're going for dnr w/ m tmw hope you're comin"

1am still no reply

what do i do :l im really worried im gonna sound desperate.
id be grateful of any help/advice/insight
sorry if this post seems rushed but im flipping out right now

just relax,

keep these buddies in the loop, but meet some more girls, yes you want to get with ''m'', that's great, but you can't leave yourself with no other options, not only will you ''look desperate'' but you will ''be desperate''

you want to pull off indifferent?, kind of hard to seem indifferent and care free, when you are truly not indifferent and care free

if these girls are backing off and sending you signs they are feeling crowded or losing interest, then just give them some space and let them come to you when they are ready, or hit them up when you have something fun to do, instead of just trying to find anything to do at all costs to meet one that you desperately want, and trying to desperately make something happen asap cause you desperately need to, just relax and chill, let things work their way out, meet more girls so the pressure is off you, and take your time, move at a pace that works, instead of trying to force something and getting all worried when it isn't working out going at break neck speed, just keep at it, slow and steady wins the race, if it doesn't work out, ohh well, hopefully you have cultivated other options at the same time

GOOD LUCK

@pumpington thanks for the insight! Ill keep in touch with them and stop asking them out so often.

As for this situation, n just txtd me saying she doesnt feel like going. Imo i think cause shes feeling hungover

So what do i do with m? Ignore her completely, ask her if she wants to go alone, or say something came up.

I know you said to take things slow but before i joined ive been reading around this forum, should i be rushin for a kiss close or else ill lose that 'spark' between m and i?

Thanks everyone!

1st off kiss a chick when you have the compliance that leads you to believe it's good to go

how compliant is the girl?

also, 2nd of all, if they are flaking you, there is no spark, something is up, if they were super interested they would be texting you, and trying to get you out, and trying to get your attention, not flaking you, flaking means they are either not interested enough, don't know you well enough, or there are outside circumstances that prevent them from being able to meet you (like a bf), think right now of how you like these girls, would that change if they didn't call you for a week?, or would you just miss them and want to see them more?...same for girls, you don't have to constantly hit them up to maintain interest, in reality you are more likely to kill interest by being over-eager and contacting too often and crowding them, rather then vice versa, once in a while when you have something to do is good enough, it's better to save your game for in person, if they really like you, they won't flake you (unless they have a boyfriend or something preventing them from a meet, or you met them and number closed after 2 minutes of talking and tried to go straight to a date without rapport and they feel they ''don't know you'')

slow and steady, meet other girls, still try it on with these two, but don't expect anything amazing, calm yourself down, keep meeting new girls and trying to improve your skills, don't get caught up on specific girls, be patient, keep practicing, and keep growing the pipeline until you have a satisfying number of options to hang out with

GOOD LUCK

@pumpington thanks once again. im totally chilled out now, n's asked to do something with me next week thurs so i guess it's cool. and as for m we hvnt talked since the missed call so im gonna wait it out.

I guess what i should learn is that I only need to go with them only once a week no more.

Ive read all the advice you've given me and it's starting to soak in. Ill be re reading it once in a while thanks man!

ps. i wish i could plus rep you but it says i cant give you any SPAM, cheers tho.

If you really want N or M or whoever haha your next interaction when her needs to be fantastic. Im not putting pressure on you, but if you wanna be serious and not in the LBJF zone (lets just be friends) you need to escalate and DHV (demonstrate higher value). BE interested, funny, ect.. this shouldnt be foreced tho... it should come natural. Read up on some DHV stuff... you dont have to be a millionaire, but if you are precived as one.... perception is reality.

gl