This summer has been great for me. I've met lots of SHBs and I've had a couple of ONSs that has been great.

Anyways... I've been looking for a GF for a long time now, and I've encountered this SP three times the past year. Perhaps some of you don't see this as a SP, but it is for me. I've met this SP with each of the three girls I've really wanted to have something more with than just the random ONSs and stuff.

I met this HB 8 a couple of weeks ago. SS worked great, and we've met whenever we've had time, or wanted to. She has taken lots of pictures of us together, and she has shown lots of interest in me.
It has gotten to the stage where I start to feel something for this girl. I'm texting her two to five times a day, and she replies. She seemed pretty "in to it" in the beginning, but lately things have died out a little from her side.

We talked just a few moments ago, and I told her to be honest with me when I asked: "do you think I'm too intense, or that I give too much of myself sometimes?"
She said yes, which made me realize that this was exactly what happened with the two cases before her.

So what I'm trying to get to here, is that girls obviously think that I'm too intense, and that I'm scaring them away after a while.

I need advice on what to do as early as after the closings and day 2's. I know that I text the target alot, and that I tend to be very "cuddly" when we're together - but for some reason, I never let myself change that, because I simply don't know how to do it.

I'm really in love with this one, and the only point of turn I can see is that she has some of my clothes, which I will eventually need to get back - which can be used as an excuse for another conversation. She's coming over on Sunday to talk, and I'm starting to become nerveous. I don't know what to say or do to get her hooked on me again, and I certainly don't know how I'm going to improve myself.

Help and tips is much appreciated.

all it is is neediness that you have to notice and get rid off if youre too cuddly stop doing it, notice the way you speak and the words youre saying(sorry please hopefully, maybe we could... etc) how do they portray you?

remember dont compliment girls, just dont do it once or twice or if shes really worked for it and thats it.

Well, I guess I'm portraiting myself as a very needy guy. It boils down to my past, where I was the underdog, and didn't have a slightest clue about girls.

Nowadays I don't have problems opening up a set, getting ONS or meeting girls - but as I posted earlier, I have major problems with getting them to get into me, if you know what I mean.

I'm affraid of changing my habits, even though I know I have to. The "needy me" is the only me I know. I think I'm affraid of being rude or marked as a jerk if I don't give her attention.

What kind of attention is it okay to give in a case like this?

Again - help is much appreciated!

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Memento Mori

well you are really needy you said you love this one? you know better than that
and you dont need me to explain how to fix your situation you know shes gonna next you because of neediness but a few pointers i can give you.

if there is ever a reoccuring pattern in your game it always means something about your game, its your job to decipher this meaning and also find a solution for it.

remember to always keep the frame of being a selector! you automatically become the opposite of a selector when you escalate and she resist it! so if you come on too strong you need to disqualify her more.

the reason she will next you is cause shes got you by the balls, shes got the power and she knows it thats why you will fail don't give women that power

Thanks man! I think I really needed it as straight forward as you just put it.
To be honest, I didn't realize it before you said that she got me by my balls. I think I got a new perspective on things now, and a slight clue on how to develop from here.

I tried to find some good topics that could help me along the way of becoming a better selector, but couldn't find anyone. I watched durden's vids on the topic on youtube, and got slightly further with the mindset of a selector.

If someone has any good ideas on what to read to become a better selector - please share the information.

I really appreciated your answer, snillaheart!

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Memento Mori

it's your investment most likely,

you find a girl you like, and you want her and her alone, you start to need her, you want to be with her more, you want to talk to her more, she starts to become your primary focus, eventually it can get to a point where it is obsessive and you are thinking about the girl all the time

^ what does this say? you have fuck else going on in your life besides this girl, it causes you to overly emotionally invested

how do you get a girlfriend? the way I like the most is just bang a girl, keep hanging out with her, keep banging her, eventually she will just ask you out

but the thing is, if you are overly clingy and have nothing going on in your life and start focusing on a girl and crowding her out, she will lose interest in hanging out, and eventually the sex isn't worth it, works that way for both guys and girls, if you wanted to have sex with some girl, thought she was cool, then she started getting fucking weird, telling you she was in love, and your the perfect guy and kissing your ass all the time and calling/texting you all day every day and wouldn't leave you alone, your stalker alert would be on high, that shit gets weird, but in moderation there is nothing wrong with affection, but moderation is the key, as soon as you become a liability to her enjoyment, she will remove you from her life

so what is a practical strategy to help with this problem? develope a lifestyle, try new things, take up some hobbies, talk to multiple girls at all times, never put yourself in a position where you have only 1 girl in mind, always have many girls on the line, if you find you are focusing on one girl too hard and it isn't progressing, just make the concious descision to back off from her and come back when you have lost that focus, invest yourself but just don't let it get too far, have other things going on in your life

GOOD LUCK

being the selector: study C&F extensively, adapt mentality that you're the prize, flip the script on a girl, always maintain the frame that she needs you more and that youre the prize.

hb: stop touching me(DLV, I'm the selector here)
pua: hey hey relax blondes arent really my type im kinda more into (her friends hair color) *next thread* (maintains the frame of being the prize, I AM the selector)

good luck

Okay, so here's what I've done to try to turn this situation around.

I've tried to stop texting her for a couple of days, and have tried to be the selector, and I think it has worked out pretty well. After not texting her for two days, she sent a picture to my phone.

"I'm wearing my boo's t-shirt and it smells so good!!! [picture of her in my t-shirt]"

Just to make it clear - it was my t-shirt, and I'm her boo, obviously.

I played cool and told her that it fitted well, and that I had to go because it was so busy at work. She replied something like this:
"Aw, I see I'm just lying here watching a movie. Wanna come over after work? ;* "

We've agreed to meet up and watch a movie this week, but havent decided which day yet. She texted me and said that she was looking forward to it and asked me when I had time.

I replied:
"Hey, sounds like a plan I'm available until wednesday if I don't have anything else to do "

I'm not rejecting her, but I'm showing her that she's not my number one priority anymore.


Is this the right way to turn this situation around? Give me some pointers if not.

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Memento Mori

Skruf, your move of not texting her worked. Now she's opened up to you and your response was also good. You're making it seem like youre busy and that she is not your number one priority.

It looks like the scenario has changed now. Before you were chasing her, now she is chasing you.

Keep it up. Make sure that if she does open up to you that you are still teasing her. No one wants something that is too easy. A little competition/struggle is always fun. Make her work for you. Since you want her to be your gf, just as someone has said earlier, you will have to hang out with her more. If you know her friends, win them over.

I apologize for my lack of information for girlfriends. It's been a while since I've really liked someone enough to want to be with them. Anywho, good luck buddy

I just got to be patient and not give in and text her now. I want to, so badly - but I know that I have to let her text me first! Gaaaaaaah! This is driving me crazy!

Thanks for the tips, guys!

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Memento Mori

Just be patient man ! You can do it ! It's worth it.

I myself lost my dream girl when I was acting like the worst AFC ever! I should've kept myself as a selector... but when you're stoked, you forget everything else, huh?

Stay strong and let her chase you!

Yeah! I've lost a couple of DG's as well!

But this one is different! I really like this one, so I'm really up to changing my game for this one.

I even hit the gym today! It's the first time since 2010! My body hurts like hell, but it'll be worth it! I've spent the day with my buddies, ignoring her texts and calls the whole day. Sent her a text tonight where I wrote:
"Hi Been busy all day with some friends. Call me tomorrow or something Good night! "

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Memento Mori

Okay, guys!

Major progress on this one now!

I've been rejecting her the last week, and it has obviously turned her crazy! I texted her this morning and wrote:
"Hi, I'm coming over. I don't care if you're wearing makeup or not. Just make sure to make breakfast for me "

I went over there, and rang the door. She opened up and gave me a big hug. At that point, I knew that she had missed me bigtime. We ate breakfast and went out for a walk. I asked her ho she had been lately, and she answered:
"I've been terrible. I thought you had lost your interest in me, and I've missed you so much!"

I told her that I had to leave in two hours, which led straight to the bed. We didn't have sex, but she was all over me, the whole time. I used lots of C&F phrases, and I was teasing the shit out of her. And when she was about to rip my t-shirt appart, I told her I had to leave and meet up with the guys at the gym.

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Memento Mori

Nice it worked out but now she wants you do not play hard to get.

Just keep fucking her and she will be even more all over you.

Even though the last couple of days has been great, I'm still a bit unsure.
I'll loosen up my game, and go with natural instead, and see how it develops. I'm pretty sure I can close the deal some day soon

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Memento Mori