Want to make this girl my girlfriend. Please help. Long post



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PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 5:18 am 
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This girl has been driving me crazy for a year now....please help

A little background about myself: 21 year old pre-med college student, athletic thin muscular build, decent looking, not alot of money right now, unfortunately live in a one story house with my Mother for now with very little privacy, still a virgin although I have picked up a decent amount of girls and done everything else. Have been flirted on and offered sex before. Just didn't feel the connection with those girls. I have loneliness issues, childhood issues, and abandonment issues due to being an only child with a divorced Mother.

A little background about her: High maintenance, VERY attractive, insecurity issues, childhood issues, loneliness issues, and daddy issues. She was adopted and just lives with her two parents. Her dad is an abusive alcoholic who used to hit her. She loves sex. She's a nympho that has tons of toys and loves to mess around with girls as well.

A little background about the situation: Started being strongly attracted to her last summer and liking her. She unfortunately got a boyfriend right after that who ironically had no money, lived alone with his mother, and was a college student (see above). The difference between me and this guy though is that he was a scumbag who smoked weed every day and treated her like shit (maybe that's why she liked him). She would still come over and be all over me in my bed but would never kiss or anything due to respecting the relationship. Long story short they broke up around last winter; her and I started hooking up and liking each other (little did I know she was doing the same thing with another guy) then she leaves with some guy who has a shitload of money a year older than me because she can't stand living at home with an alcoholic Father. Talked to her throughout the 6 months she was gone and now she is back. She states she felt nothing for the guy but just loves money like any girl. Now that she is back we are in the same situation as before except she states that she doesn't like me and likes the other guy (she probably felt the same way before just never got the chance to tell me since she moved away with the rich guy out of nowhere). He offered her to move to CA in Sept with him and she doesn't know if she is going to or not yet. I know she likes me but wants her cake and a strawberry on top too. I know this because she calls me every day to hangout, (sometimes ditches at night to hangout with the other dude though :/ ), wants me all over her, we still hook up, she wants to cuddle all the time, and she wants me to hug her all the time; I get the feeling I am very comforting for her to have around, someone stable unlike the others in her life. Also the other guy found texts between the two of us saying that we were slowly getting to know each other better and like each other and made her promise not to talk to me anymore..... but she still secretly does ;)

Breakdown: She is the sexiest girl I know and I love her flirty personality as well. I feel so comfortable with her when I am with her. I care deeply about her and want her body like a madman. We barely know anything about each other because we hide it from each other and the fucked up things we do know about each other we find out from mutual friends. I get along with her family great and she has stated several times she finds that extremely attractive. Her Father is a racist and the other guy she is seeing is not the same race as her. Even if she does move with him in Sept I do not think it will last.

I wish I could tell her everything about how I feel about her, when I do she gets scared I want more then a friendship, which I understand, you just can't tell someone everything at once. Yet when we hangout she is always flirty, she invites me over to family dinners, calls me everyday, gets jealous when I'm with other girls; shit doesn't make any sense. At the very least I could probably share my past with her and get to know her better as well but every time we hangout all she wants to do is drink and have fun with me. She never really wants to just chill and talk and every time I do think we have a chance I get the feeling she has other plans with the other guy and I get pissed and want her to myself for the night.

Overall I have made progress with her since before we weren't even talking due to the guy not wanting us to and I was barely around her parents before as well. Maybe she wants to hangout with me so often is because she isn't supposed to. She makes sure she looks 100% before seeing me often taking an hour or two to get ready.

I want to convince her to stay but I don't have as much to offer as the other guys besides my compassion, stability, and caring. I know I am the better long-term choice but she might just not be looking for long term right now. I don't know. She did date that other guy for one year and thought he was the one and he is very similar to me lifestyle wise. I know things will not work out with either guy and I will probably have another chance in the future but I am sick of not being with her. My only ideas to win her over are to: start acting like a jerk and badass, ignore her calls and texts and make it seem like I am unavailable so she wants me more (this would drive her crazy since I am the only stable and comforting thing in her life right now), or just talk to her and share with her my past, get to know hers, and let her know that I am the better choice and she should think about things deeply before making a decision to move anywhere (this might scare her away though)

Sorry about the long post guys, this is just making me crazy even though I shouldn't let it be. I know the smart thing would be to just move on but it's been a year and I haven't been able to remove my feelings from this girl so it must mean something. I am in my last year of school and will have money in a year and a better life but I want her now. I am impatient. I deserve her more than any other guy and it sucks not to have her. I will do anything to have her so any methods or tips just to start the relationship would be appreciated. I know this should come naturally between us but maybe we just need a push to get to know each other better and bond. I'm afraid I am getting pushed into the friend zone if not already there. I did her a favor today and she made me take money for it..... One more important detail is that she lives one block away from me and the other guy lives an hour from her. Thanks for the time reading this.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:02 pm 
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it seems to me you are so badly in the friendzone it's not even funny..
basically, you have oneitis for a nymphomaniac, whom you have not been able to fuck in a year. not even when she was drunk and horny...
I hardly believe any of your overly sentimental talk about childhood issues and stability will make her pussy wet (which should have been your goal since Day-0)

even if you made her pussy wet, she would most probably not be a good LTR candidate (lots of red flags with this chick). but at least you would bang her.

next time you see her, go caveman. either she opens her legs, or you use your legs to walk away.

_________________
nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:05 am 
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Well, she has only been single and available for about 2 months out of that one year. She travels and was in a relationship for a long time. Not going to disagree; yes, I should have fucked her by now but I have very little game when I'm not at a bar, drunk, or confident, hence why I am on here.

I got some advice from another on a forum who advised I make myself less available and make her want me more. Act like I am busy, hangout with other girls when she asks to do something or just say I am, etc. Also to use push pull techniques and boyfriend destroyer routines. She asked me to get coffee today (a usual daily text from her to hang out) I said I was going downtown with another girl to get dinner. (something I know she loves to do)

Right now I am her "comfort buddy" who she calls only when she feels alone and wants someone there. Then she goes and hangs out with her other dude who is probably banging the shit out of her while I'm the idiot hanging out with her in the daytime not getting any. Well should rephrase that, we make out and are all up on each other but I am not getting any sex which is what counts. She is probably just doing all the other shit with me so she feels comforted.

I agree with the caveman post. I am just being used as of now to keep her company when she has nothing and no one else to hang out with. We will be hanging out in the daytime and she makes plans with me for the night but then the other guy calls and she will say something like, maybe another night (like I don't know who you are texting when we are hanging out.... c'mon)

So right now the plan is to: make myself less available, make her jealous of the dinner and other girl, freeze her out over the phone and eventually in person, then use push pull techniques to advertise that I am in charge. If need be use boyfriend destroyer techniques but that will be hard to do since she is the one that doesn't want to commit due to having her options open with me, him, and the other guy; not to mention her dad is a huge racist and her family would never openly accept an open relationship between them. Like I have said she has stated she is a free agent and very openly admitted that they are not dating.

Let me know how my plan sounds, if you have anything to add, I appreciate your time and reply. I do agree that I should just walk away at this point; especially since she is probably going to move in Sept and this will be all for nothing but I will regret if I don't try. Can't hurt, at the very least maybe I will get sex if not a relationship (which I would probably regret a week into anyways :p- ) and I will make a lasting impression when things blow up in her face with the guy she is possibly moving in with.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:08 am 
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and I 1/2 disagree with the "so far" into the friend zone. I don't think she would be messing around with me or asking me to hug her all the time and be there for her if I was just a friend. Granted I def agree that she is way too comfortable with me in my current situation. I need to start being more aggressive, she just thinks of me as a nice innocent guy (she has even said this) and that she is not attracted to that.

She has other guy friends that I know that don't do any of that. Just a few days ago she considered us hanging out a date. She seems to switch her opinion of us every other day.... def something wrong in the head with this girl, that and the fact that she texts me EVERY DAY to hang out.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:12 am 
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and after I freeze her out and we eventually do hang I'm bringing her to a downtown bar in Chicago with a few people and going to see what happens with push pull techniques and such.

I am learning more and more that this girl isn't worth my time from other people so if nothing happens there nothing happens but it will be a good last ditch effort and if nothing happens I just need to get over her and move on with my life and start talking to and meeting the other million girls compatible with me on this planet.


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