met this girl last week. basically she wanted to keep in touch with me so we number exchanged and stuff. invited her round mine and she invited me round to hers. she already has a boyfriend but whenever i see her around me her pupils widen up soooo huge.
she has natural green eyes and i can just seen then turn black as shes with me. is that an IOI? i only saw her with her green eyes one time and even then they dilated after a while when with me. is that just her eyes or what.

also she doesn't give any other IOI's. What other subtle IOI's should i look for . i tried kino but she refuses to touch my hand because she's embarrassed her hand are too big :S. so palm reading is out of the window.

Mate pupil dilation is an IOI but I think you are missing the point. The fact you exchanged numbers and she invited you around her house is a major IOI. I'm not going to list all the possible IOI's associated with body language as there is many posts around the subject on this forum also you may want to read a book on body language. Here is kino guide which should help you out http://www.scribd.com/doc/16768511/Vin- ... ion-Ladder

That's an IOI. Not a major one since she could be so comfortable with you that you're strolling straight into the 'friend zone' and you'll end up as her cuddle bitch. If she starts opening up to you about her life and problems it's a good sign that she trusts you but don't fall for it by being there to solve her problems. It's basically a test so she can decide whether or not to put you into the potential partner or friend category.

Eye dilation simply means she is trying to take in more information. This doesn't mean she wants to fuck you, unless you feel the obvious vibe. Peoples eyes dilate when they are trying to read a newspaper, doesn't mean they want to fuck the newspaper...
So unless you directly trigger the dilation with actions e'g' Kino it doesn't necessarily mean more than that.


Give her a nickname and tease her about her hands. I've used 'man hands' as a nickname before. It's good to make fun in a light-hearted way and she doesn't even need to have big hands. If there are two girls pick one call her man hands and have her compare them with her friend, then have both of them compare their hands to yours and choose a 'winner'. great way to lead into kino and banter

Im not concerned about her friend zoning me. im just making sure she's intrested in me and not trying hard

ok, so there are two things here

1) In 1965, pupillometry pioneer and psychologist Eckhardt Hess asked men to compare the attractiveness of images of women with average-sized pupils to drawings in which the women's pupil sizes were enhanced. Consistently, men ranked the doe-eyed gazes as prettier, since the subtle ocular opening unconsciously signals sexual attraction on the woman's part [source: Tombs and Silverman]. In response to attraction, the brain secretes norepinephrine, which then flexes the eyeball's dilator muscles [source: Murphy]. Therefore, men may unwittingly read pupil dilation as an advertisement of interest.

2) she has a boyfriend

now, why is #2 important here?, lets put it this way, you have a girlfriend, she is a hb10, now you go out with your friends, they bring out a hb8, you are attracted to the hb8, she starts hitting on you, now, some guys won't cheat, some will, you can tell via compliance/investment (if they flirt back/allow her advances until sex), now you are basically stating in your post she doesn't show interest, and she is non compliant, yet her pupils dilate so is this an ioi? it could be, but just because she is attracted to you doesn't mean she will fuck you, attracted and available are two different things

@pumpington

shit that was some really good advice. really eye opening thanks.
so ur saying that because she's not following my compliance tests she's not interested enough to take it further?

most likely yes, also if you want to get with a girl that has a boyfriend, make sure her social circle is not aware of what you are doing, be as secretive and discreet as possible, and if she is bringing up the boyfriend, make it clear with your words and actions that you don't care she has a boyfriend and are willing to take responsibility for the hookup and keep it a secret, and always remember no matter what, some girls will not cheat

I read a little bit of pumpington's post and it is about spot on but I have to say this pupil dilation means one thing - AROUSAL. This doesn't necessarily mean sexual arousal it merely means arousal. All it really means is arousal nothing else, when you go running or dancing your pupils dilate, when you are really afraid, angry, or sexually turned on pupils dilate.

You look for other signs to notice attraction. I've never once met a woman that only showed pupil dilation, they always add in submissive signals, preening, foot work, etc. I can list off all sorts of stuff or you can just go check out the thread I put up with my show on it, it goes over body language guidelines, preens, submissive signals, arousal, etc. 2-vt137501.html?start=15

This is my fight with IOIs here on the forum everyone on here seems to try and define attraction with one signal or another body language isn't like that. Every sign can be deciphered differently based just on the body language guidelines, a woman who preens at a poker table could be bluffing (usually are) not attracted to a man. Women who lie are also known for preening.

In short her pupil dilation is likely a sign of arousal, perhaps even sexual but you can't really tell with out taking into consideration all the body language as a whole.

Peace and Love

Vic

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You have several OIO here, so worth pushing your chance...

Regarding the hands issue, Jambi proposes to use it in its way :
To be honest, I would not to it like this because I avoid teasing about things that cannot be changed (clothes is ok, but not hands) because people may really feel uneasy and lowered about it. I would reframe the whole thing, like telling her hands are perfect for massaging. That's a very good topic that can lead you somewhere (at least to kino) : tell her she looks contracted and massage her shoulders, or explaining some special kind of massage you like and do it on her (can be a big massage or just show it on her arm), etc.

I love massage, but you may reframe on somehting else : great hands for playing piano/guitar, if you're in music, for ex.

Eye dialating is a definite IOI, every time i see it the girl turns out to have a crush on me. But make sure that this only happens with you, but in general this is a good IOI.
Also try to look out if she; execssivly touches her hair, find excuses to be near you etc.

But you should really try to get that kino man, it's a great oppertunity to get her interested, but since she has a boyfriend try to be subtle about it, you can things like commenting her earings and touch her earlobes, tease her about her enormus hands ^^ complement her rings and touch her fingers etc.

I've never heard of eye dilation not being an IOI. :p

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