Hey everybody,
I met this girl in a mental health center 3 month ago. It all worked out very well we had sex a couple of times and stayed in contact after the therapy, she was texting me all day long and we SPAM for hours each day, she called herself my girlfriend.

I visited her last weekend (150km ride) and at first it was really great, her family really seemed to like me. We had sex the whole night and in the morning.
the next day I met some of her friends, but she seemed rather uncomfortable with me being by her side which really made me feel bad.

Due to my condition all the introductions were very exhausting so I went back to the house to rest some time.

When she came back she was of the opinion that this whole thing between us wasn´t such a good idea after all. She doesn´t like any sorts of obligations and just wanted to be with her friends. We had to concentrate on ourselves in order to recover.

I just started to cry, said that I was terribly in love with her and can´t loose her.

She said she still had feelings but were afraid to let me in any further. In the end I said she might need a few days to figure out what she really wants and left.

Of course I texted her the next day and we had a phone conversation in which I stated that I really want to give it another shot and that in fact nothing bad happened, it was all just too little conversation.
She said she couldn´t promise anything, that she does´t wanna hurt me again and that I´m such a wonderful guy every girl could dream of and there was nothing she´d rather do than to be with me, but she isn´t ready for a real commitment, but we could stay in contact and phone once in a week or so.

I have absolutely no idea what so ever what to do.
I hope you guys can give me some advice,
any thoughts and comments are appreciated,

thanks very much in advance

keef

This is going to sounds harsh so don't take it the wrong way! Im going to say this only to help you!

Stop being such a weak beta chump! telling a women you love her and care about her right after she tells you she does not want to be with you is like giving a dog a treat for pissing on the carpet!

Stop everything you have done! stop feeling sorry for your self, get up right now, turn on some positive music and start living your life! yes you like this girl but so what? there are 4 billion other women in the world and surely you can find one who is as good if not better?

You are hurt I understand that and I feel for you brother but you can't let your emotions get the best of you! and you can't tell a girl you love her, be clingy and cry and expect her to look at you as a high value man???? You need to push away, you need to tell her you agree with her decision, you need to tell her that you care a lot about her but you deserve to be with someone who cares the same amount and that if she can't give you that then you agree its over, you need to tell her that you wish her the best and leave it at that, walk away and live your life!

You know what will happen? It will most likely happen in this order:

1# she will tell you "ok have a nice life"
2# she will ignore you for a short time
3# she will contact you and test you to see how you react, if you act like you did (crying and telling her how much you love her) you will fail her shit test and she will break your heart again".
4# If you handle step 3# properly she will start to miss you and realize she was an idot for breaking things off.
5# She will contact you and ask you to meet up at which time you decide if you want to or not.

If you decide to meet with her she will shit test you like crazy! she will test to see if you really are an alpha male, she will check to see if she can manipulate you, if she can't then your value will shy rocket and she will want you back.

Now there is a chance that non of this will happen! if her interest level is bellow 50% then chances are she will not call you and its over! in which case learn your lessen and move on! but if it is above 50% there is always hope! You want to always keep a women's interest level above 90%! to do this you have to be a true alpha male! you have to change your ways and stop acting so beta and weak!

thanks very much for the answer that helped a lot more than what my shrink said!
She was my first girl, I had my first kiss with her and all was thx to pickup, i just thought that after "hooking" her I could be more myself, which was in this case the old afc.

I´m thinking of putting a little package together with some photos and some of my music she really liked, just to say that I don´t wanna miss the time we had and understand her decision, and all of what you said ?!

I've heard this before. It basically means "I don't give shit about you".

My advice is to ignore her for few weeks. If she gets in touch with you, don't be too needy. Act like you don't give shit. If she really likes you, she will find a way out to be back with you again.

Ok, it is tough love time!!! Stop being such a effing wuss!

Do not send her anything, do not talk to her, do not call her, and do not text her! She does not exist in your world, if you do this, she will come back to you. If you continue to act like a little bitch, she will continue to treat you like a little bitch.

Think about how this would have happened a thousand years ago. You would find her, and take what you want and she would submit to that MALE dominance until another bigger badder MALE came along and beat you up and took her from you!

It is all basic "instincts"...She wants a guy who can defend her and provide for her, she does not want a weak boy who cries when she says goodbye.


Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

NO no nooooo! don't do that???? why? lol brother you don't reward someone who treats you poorly!

You need to study up on the human mind and how women and men think, men think logically, women mostly with their emotions, you sending her a gift after she told you she does not want you will do nothing but make you look weak, and quite honestly you are! I think before you are ready for a relationship you have to deal with your own inner game and confidence, you need to work on your self!

You don't even truly know this girl....you were with her for a short time and although you like her a lot you are investing way to much into her!

listen to my first post! back off, pull away, I know it does not make sens to you now but it will, read up on how women think, there are some good post in here about this topic.

I feel you really need to work on your inner game!

p.s what did you mean you met he in a mental health hospital?

allright I get it now. I will just go along with that and trust you on this. After all it´s much more easier to do nothing than to break my head on thinking what to do and doing it right.

yeah I know my inner game is screwed but I blame my Depersonalization, Social Phobia and Codependence for it. That´s why I went to this mental health center, psychiatry.
While I understand my conditions she does´t even acknowledge her own...

actually, it means she IS fucking or WANTS TO BE fucking someone else. but she would be glad to use you as an ego boost in the meantime.

that is an offer you can't refuse.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!