I wanted to make a post as a sum-up of some of the main things I do today, that I see as the reason why is this whole gaming women and meeting them is so easy for me today.
Just today, I was walking across town and stopped to buy some gum. There was a cute girl working there so I started bantering with her:
Me: Do you have gum?
Her: Yea, which one would you like?
Me: Um, give me my favourites
Her: And those are?
Me: Are you kidding me? You don't know which ones are my favourites? Where is the complain book, I have to make a note of this immediately...
etc.
The girl ended up walking out of the boot and in the conversation, wanted me to visit her in two days to see her new dress?
Anyways, I ended the conversation with her, and walked off.
As I was walking, I felt good about myself - as ussual, and this girl was walking in my direction.
Our eyes caught - and then she lifted her arm, and kind of punhed me in the chest - but not hard, just barely.
I immediately responded: O shit, now you must die!
We bantered a bit and I walked off with her number.
So why does this kind of things happen to me now, while previously I struggled to even get a girl to talk to me?
It's because I DEVELOPED certain qualities in myself.
And in this post, I want to share with you some of the qualities that I developed in myself, that I believe are the reason why I can do these kind of things today.
1. Women WANT to be APPROACHED - By the RIGHT guy
A long time ago, I realized that women want to be approached - by the right guy.
They don't want an awkward, insecure wuss boy who feels he has nothing to offer and who feels like the biggest loser in the world.
They do want a decent looking, in an at least ok shape guy, with moderate interesting personality and not completely booring, kind of funny but not funny looking ok guy with an at least ok confidence.
Most guys put way too much weight on who they need to be in order for a girl to like them. Truth is, you don't need to be all that - you just need to be at least ok.
All the pressure is unnecessary, and guys put way too much emphasis on the girl, and not enough on themselves.
Truth is, women want you to approach them, but before you do, at least be an ok guy so she doesn't feel embarrased.
2. Getting women is EASY
Getting women is easy, and most of the time, all you need to do is just show up and be at least ok, and women will want to be with you.
I know I know, the pick up community tells you "Picking up women is like picking up an african gorilla"
Truth is, it's pretty easy. You just need to let it be easy.
As Woody Allen said "90% of success is showing up, and the rest of 10% is showing up on time"
Most of the time you just need to show up and at least not screw it up - you don't need to deliver all these incredible stories about your ferarri - women love men, and they want to be approached.
Most guys over complicate this. They make this too fucking hard. Meeting women is easy, it is as easy as tying your shoe.
Lower the standard of your performance you expect from yourself when you're approaching a woman. Don't try so hard.
3. I expect women to invest energy as well
Underline expect.
They say what you expect to happen, ussually does happen.
Well, it's true.
I expect women to invest their energy in talking to me. And then my expectation can be seen in my behavior, my face epxression, my walk, talk, breathe, and this is perceived as very attractive to women.
A lot of women told me: "I got a feeling that I need to work and prove myself to you, but I didn't know why"
And I know why - because I made this belief in myself that a woman needs to prove her value to me.
Most guys when they speak to a girl, they think they need to do all the work themselves - but this is seen by a woman as low status behavior, and she doesn't want you anymore.
It's kind of ironic, but if a girl isn't expected to invest her time, she will assume you have no value.
So don't try so hard to impress her - expect her to invest her time as well. She will sense it - and perceive you as much more valuable.
4. I DON'T CARE
I am completely detached from anything to happen.
I just don't care.
In a business book "To be or not to be intimidated" Rober Ringer says, that the person who is willing to walk away from the deal is the person who's probably most likely going to get it.
I am always willing to walk away from a girl - no matter how hot she might be.
And look, sometimes this is not that easy, but I made my point to be completely detached from her and from what I might "get" from her if we get together.
I don't care.
I have this arrogant, kinf of smug, superior attitude when I'm speaking with a woman, that clearly states - I don't need you.
I know, our natural instinct is to focus on her "special" parts, get aroused and THEN try to talk to her as a way of getting to her "special parts"
And I use to do that - but not anymore.
When I talk to a woman now, I am completely detached from wanting anything from her.
I am always willing to walk away.
It's really a matter of focus and perspective. If you focus on how great her ass looks but you neglect her other qualities like "Does she have a spoiled brat personality" you might get yourself in trouble (I did)
To get detached, raise your standards for women, and "judge" them more than just their looks.
And then detach yourself from her looks.
5. There will never run out of beautiful women, they make more of them EVERY DAY
Realize, that there is alway another more prettier, more sexy, more fun and more something girl out there, waiting for you to show up. If you take this attitude, you will be far more attractive than if you only focus on her looks and how you can get her.
Don't care.
Some guys even tell me, that sometimes when they speak to an attractive girl, they feel like she is the last person on the planet, that they focus only on her sexy parts that they want from her, and get a sense that if this woman leaves, they might never get another chance to have another girl in their entire life.
Do you feel like that as well sometimes?
If you do, I have news for you: This is plain silly.
There are 3 billion women on this planet.
How may of them are hot?
A lot.
And how many of them are single?
A lot of them.
And how many of them want to meet a guy to have a good time with?
A lot of them.
And to make matters even better, they even make more of them.
Thousands of women turn 21 years old EVERY DAY.
So there is NO LACK of beautiful women.
And when you talk to a girl next time, and you get that attached feelings and thoughts, just remember this - there is probably one more attractive woman around the corner, so just let go.
6. I know women feel insecure - more insecure than me
A hot woman will spend about 3 hours in the bathroom, fixing her self up with make up, hair style and choosing the right dress and shoes BEFORE she goes out.
Why would she do that?
To cover up who she really is?
Insecure?
I would think so.
Hot women are probably the most insecure people in the place - because they have a lot more to lose if they "get found out"
They feel affraid, they feel insecure - and I can feel that.
And I know how to speak to those insecurities so they feel safe and secure around me.
7. I don't make it a big deal
Women, men, walking on the street, checking themselves up, meeting up, screwing - that's life.
Hot women looking amazing - that's normal.
I don't over think it, I don't over analyze it, I don't over whatever - I just do it.
The more you wait, the more painful it gets.
So I just release myself and I do it - no strings attached.
Women doesn't like me or doesn't want to talk to me - that happens. That's life. Not a big deal.
She has her own reason for doing that - maybe she's happily married, maybe her boyfriend just cheated on her with her best friend (happens quite a lot lol) and she wants to kill all men, whatever. Maybe she doesn't like my shoes - or she plainly doesn't like me - Who knows?
I don't make it a big deal anymore. I just don't care really.
People and women have way too much issues for me to deal with them. So it's not a big deal.
If she doesn't like me - fuck her. There are plenty of other women around.
8. I expect women to respond positively to me
Again, expectation.
Brian Tracy, a big success guru said, that there is a law of expectation. It is simply, whatever you expect to happen, ussually does.
I can't emphasise this enough but you really need to expect a girl to respond positively to you.
I expect woman to stop, to look at me and smile gently, feel excited because I said something to her, to engage in the conversation or a comment I say to her - because I feel I have value - I am important - and that she should respond positively.
It's kind of being on the inner circle of cool people - you alway expect other people to respond to you positively, because you're among this circle of cool people.
And I've internalized this expectation that when I see a woman's face, I immediately see her responding to me positively, long before I even speak with her.
I trained my mind to do that.
Before, I would freak out - I would see her rejecting me, blowing me off, giving me a weird look and laugh at me.
Not anymore. I see women as people who want to meet a guy like me. I expect it, and it is real for me.
9. I see myself as ATTRACTIVE
This one is crucial.
Most guys are walking around and feeling like they have nothing to offer, like they are losers and like they don't deserve a beautiful woman.
I use to see myself that way as well, but not anymore.
I did a lot of work on myself and now I see myself as a person who is desired by women, who is on this inner circle of attractive people, a person who has options of women.
I assume women like me, would like me, and would enjoy spending time with me.
I believe I am sexy, hot and attracitve as any hot woman I see on the street.
I think this part is crucial.
You need to start seeing yourself as attracitve and desirable - not repulsive and undesirable.
What you believe about yourself - others will too.
And if you see yourself as an ugly duck and you are trying to pick up women - no, no.
It's not going to work.
Do some work on your self image first, and start viewing yourself as attractive.
Once you do this, women will too.
10. I feel good
Most of the time, I feel good. I feel good inside. Probably because I exercise, I eat healthy and I keep in good emotional shape.
My relationships with people are incredible (while previously being in a wreck) and this just contributes to my feeling good.
Most guys don't feel good - they feel angry, pissed off, sad, depressed - you name it.
And with that feeling, they want to go out and meet women.
C'mon..
You need to feel good and have this positive energy about yourself.
When you're talking to a woman, you need to have energy.
Negative emotions will drain your energy, positive emotions will fill your energy up.
11. I did the hard part
Rejection?
Embarassment?
Terrified to even say "Hi" to a girl?
Been there.
I went through my share of approaching women while shaking from fear.
I got my share of rejections, humiliations, embarassments
I did.
But here's the good news - they passed.
I realized getting embarassed is not such a big deal - and I learned to handle it.
I learned to be ok with whatever happens, with feeling fear, with being embarassed - I don't care anymore.
I remember watching TV and this guy said something that stuck in my mind.
He said: "When you get old in life, you don't regret things you did do - even if they went wrong - at least you did them. You regret things you didn't do - because your life has passed now, and you never know what would happen if you did do them"
This stuck with me, and I understand I only live once - so getting embarassed or rejected is just something I do - and I probably won't regret it when I get old.
I took my chances and I'm glad I did.
Now my life is completely different.
And it was just because I dared to go through the hard part.
The hardest part for me was getting to that initial approach, the part when I actually needed to say "hi"
And I reccomend you start here - with approaching women.
If you find that idea too scary, than here's a great technique for you to use that would make this easier for you.
You can get it here
www.volcanoconfidence.com/approach-anxiety.html
So this was my 11 qualities that I believe will help you develop yourself so you feel it is easy for you as well.
This was Fantom, and I will talk to you soon.
CHAT