I dont disagree with any of that, but the thing is you cant be something you're not. And if you arent incredibly confident, or trying too hard to appear like it, not so fun to be around, or just average fun to be around, then you cant show value.

These PUA tips you see around all focus on that, but if one could suddenly be incredibly confident and fun to be around, they wouldnt need to read anything.

The point is you can't manufacture charisma. Elvis had it, JFK and Clinton had it, Jimmy Dean and John Wayne had it, Bond had it.

But if anybody could, these guys would be out of business. Being charasmatic, charming, and fun are just as rare as good lucks and being rich

Pumpington
Nice post, it was quite a read but I took some points from that! Especially the positive/negative reinforcement, it’s something that is within all of us to use that to encourage the correct behaviours, but realising it takes a bit of effort to be able to react at the right times with the right reinforcement...tricky and something i’ll think about!!

WRT Midlife comments.
Creating a perceived value about yourself is only an extension of the value that you already hold, if you’re intrinsically negative/no fun to be around and defeatist then of course you’re not going to be able to show value because you don’t have any to begin with!! The whole point of sharing tips which I’m quite sure aren’t purely focused on coming across incredibly confident, is going through a learning process. I went to university because I wanted to pick up a new trade...i didn’t know anything about the subject when I started, and spent of lot of time conditioning/learning/training myself for the industry that I was going into.
Anyone can change/alter/better with the right frame of mind and determination to boot. Confidence in areas that we are discussing doesn’t necessarily come directly from a general feeling of confidence. I know guys with confidence but they don’t know how to handle women. If this is the case you may end up with the person who chooses you because they have the knowledge to manipulate you, not the other way round....as it should be!!

Ps. The list of characters (partly fictitious ) are public personas, this list of which goes on, perhaps it’s worth considering the training ‘public speaking/grooming/wardrobe and dressers/make-up/elocution/image consultants/education/dedication that went into the ‘Charisma’ that you claim comes so easily!!!!

No I didnt say it comes easily at all, it's rare is what I said. U cant learn to be fun to hang around with, you either are or not.

it can be developed and improved, but change is extremely hard, and very few can commit to making a change, but you can certainly learn of habits to develope or alter to better yourself in this area and work towards changing, not that the change will occur instantly, or understanding what changes have to be made suddenly change your results, but conciously putting effort into making a change and putting forth effort into improving, will gradually create change

confidence can be developed, improvement is possible, but it takes work