My sister is 30 and her bf is 33! They have been dating for 6 months and things have been moving very fast.

From the very first moment I met her bf I got this gut feeling that he couldn't be trusted. My family also get this impression as some things just don't seem to add up! He talks about how much money he is earning at all opportunities and we are fairly sure he is lying about it, though my sister believes him.

Ps my sister likes wealthy guys and is impressed by big spending (pisses me off).

A while back he kept on claiming that his bank account had been hacked so he didn't have much money due to this. He claimed that the bank would not help him in this situation! I've been in the same situation and the bank was fantastic! This went on for a few months. His house where he lives has little furniture and is a dump...not somewhere you'd expect mr money bags to live!!

My sister also once boasted to me that he just won £3000 at the horses. This set off alarm bells as I know he bet a large amount in order to win that! She also boasted that he loses lots at casinoes but he is rich so it doesn't affect him...

I smell a rat...and a gambling problem...(kept on losing money to bank fraud?? I'm not so sure and neither is my family).


Fast forward a few months and it's my sisters birthday! He buys her £500 earrings and two holidays costing about £1500 each. Then I get this text message as soon as he comes back...(note it's the end of the month)

"Hey ****, how's it going? Had a txt off a mate about borrowing cash, I don't know anyone but remembered you said a mates family do it... He's looking for 4k over 6 weeks, do they lend that kind if dough?"

Now a few points;

1/ if he is so rich, why doesn't he lend the money?
2/ he has just spent £4000 on my sister? Coincidence?!
3/ why use a dodgy money lender and not the bank?
4/ if your using a money lender then your in big trouble and in need of cash fast!!
5/ illegal implications as they obviously can't give proof to the bank of what caused the debt.

My sister has fallen HARD for this chump and he wants them to move to a far away country in a months time (he has been offered a job there). However my whole family dont trust him at all and we all can't be wrong?! We are pretty sure he will ask her to marry him and I know she would say yes! I just know something is not right and my sis has been blinded by his stories.

I'm going to talk to my sis tomorrow!

How would you guys handle this?!

He's full of shit about the bank hacking thing, that's for sure. You don't have to bet a lot to win big with horse racing as long as you have a ton of luck and some foresight going for you. A $1 trifecta box ($6 total) can win you a few thousand, it's just pretty rare to win that kind of bet.

Either way, he's definitely up to no good. All you can do is calmly explain things from your point of view. She will get defensive and probably raise her voice, but remain calm and persistent and remind her that you are only bringing this to her attention because you care.

Yea I know he didn't have to bet big to win big but from what my sis said, he bets big! I really think he is up to no good. My parents are letting me speak to her first then they are stepping in. I know my sis, she will get very defensive.

I'm wondering if any boyfriend destroyer stuff would work?

I know that sounds fucked up but there's something not right here! All of us loved her previous bf's but this one is dodgy!


I've watched him game my sis and he will play the emotional strings and be very manipulating! He's a very controlling character and we are worried about her

I had same kind of situation few years ago with my brother. I was stressing the shit out of myself and wondering what should I do.
Well. I think you just have to say what you think to your sister. But remember to be gentle, or she will push you away like my brother did to me at first.

Nowadays, few years later, I have an amazing realtionship with my brother. We could talk about everything now. He always reminds me about this situation when we're taking couple of beers or so.. You can do it man!

tail him for a day and film the guy

i'm fairly convinced you will catch him frequenting rest stops and paying homeless hobos with cheeseburgers to give him sleezy blowjobs in the bathroom stalls

let's call it a hunch

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

The guy sounds shady as hell. Definitely voice your concern to your sister. If you know the time he usually stops by, grab a few of your buddies who got your back and invite them over. Make sure he takes the hint.
Maybe I'm paranoid after watching "Taken", but moving away into another country sounds pretty alarming. Ger rid of that guy.
Best,
Al

She definitively has to broke with him

In this situation what I would not do - talk with her. As women is in love or so, she acts on emotions and she doesnt care he has money or he has not. Speak directly with him.

But now what you will speak about? Maybe poor guy just wanted to make an impression for your hot sister? How this can be bad?

Talk to him eye in the eye and speak what you have in mind. Do not get your sister involved as she doesn't care how he get's his money and how much.

I'd just trust my sister, if she is making a poor choice or not doesn't really matter, she is going to do what she wants anyways and needs to make her own mistakes, it is the only way she will learn from them, but I'd certainly keep in touch with her

I talked to her tonight and aired my concerns! It's now up to her to take them on board or not. At least I said what I was thinking.

Interestingly she didn't flip out at me! She flipped out at him for sending me that text! She didn't know about it at all. I dont know what they said or what happened regarding that.

She said given the circumstances she understands why it would seem dodgy to me. I know for a fact that I have made her think about a few things so hopefully she has the sense to dig a bit further and prove me right or wrong!

Me and my dad discussed her answers to me and we both think he is still dodgy and full of shit! Her answers to a few question sounded like he had been giving weak excuses for his money anomalies