I'm 17 years old. My mom has been with this guy secretly and not-secretly for a number of years. They've been on and off repeatedly like many other relationships.

We are talking about a nice guy with BORDERLINE PERSONALITY. He has hit my mom, threatened to run her over with a car, obssessed about her constantly, manipulated her, gave her plenty of gifts and did a lot of favors, but "he still loves her".

I hate those kinds of guys, and I'm tired of him. I personally told my mom right at home when she was suddenly about to stay at someone else's house without telling me (boyfriend's house) that I didn't want her to be with him.

She protested a little, but she listens to me no matter what because she knows I'm wiser than my entire family.

But now she called me and i talked to her and her boyfriend by phone and he wanted to talk to me in person, so I said yes and they are on their way home.

I'm not going to pity them. It hurts now but it will hurt more in the long run, I told that to my mom.

Did I do the right thing?

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You miss every shot you don't take.

I'd say yes. However, if nothing changes in the near future after the talk, I would tell him to stay away from your mom or else the cops will be called. If he doesn't change, call the cops and get a restraining order. Borderline isn't something to mess around with...

I did the talk. I was firm but calm with a Vito Corleone attitude ( The godfather ).
He was persistent. He kept pushing it an trying to make me feel bad by making me think that he will suffer a lot. That it is hell for him to not talk to my mom.

I told them both that I'll give them a month to think and IF my mom wants to, they'll get back together.

He kept pushing it and begged me to try to lock it in and then I said "If you keep pressuring me, I'll have to get you out of the house.

At that point he shut up, got up, said goodbye and left the house. Then he drove down the road in my neighborhood in anger driving at like 60 miles per hour!

I thought he was gonna kill himself but I can't feel bad about him.

Me and my mom are relieved! Whew! I'm real tired. Got that guy out of the house.

I feel a little guilty but A LOT BETTER. At least I know that my opinion will be considered within my family.

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You miss every shot you don't take.

Good man! I don't know what you want out of their relationship but, at least he understands (although he was initially angry) that you are a huge part of your moms life and that your opinion matters in your moms decision-making. He'll have a hard time thinking to himself and knowing he has to get his act together if he wants to stay with your mom. Stay firm until he truly changes.

dude, you are a good son for doing that.

wow.

just for the follow-up, you really should get the guy alone and tell him that if he ever hurts your mom you will put him into a meat grinder along with the rest of his family (aunts, uncles, sisters, cousins, etc)

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I think he got the message. I wonder what his kids will say ( actually he has a daughter. She's a college girl.) Maybe they'll help him.

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You miss every shot you don't take.

If he still persists, you should fuck his daughter. She probably has daddy issues after all lol. I hope you workout cause if it comes to a point where he gets in the middle of the night abusing your mother, I would beat his ass out without hesitation. Don't feel bad for him. You should tell him that he needs psychological help. Then even if he commits suicide, it's not your problem. You were fair and tried to help, that's all that matters.

If he ever hits your mum again then phone the police immediately! Involve them and start criminal proceedings against him! The court will ALWAYS side with the child's wishes! You could file a restraining order!

Hitting women is never right

You love your mother. And judging by that instinctive fact, I know
that you know you took the right step in guiding her. It's a little crazy
how when you were growing up, your mother made sure you understood
the difference between right and wrong, remind her what she taught you.

You're an incredible son bro,
Cheers

You love your mother. And judging by that instinctive fact, I know
that you know you took the right step in guiding her. It's a little crazy
how when you were growing up, your mother made sure you understood
the difference between right and wrong, remind her what she taught you.

You're an incredible son bro,
Cheers

You have to help your mother, no one has the right to hit a woman.

Be here for her and help her to finish this non sense relationship.

Motherfucker, you are really calm if you know he hit your mother. If he beat her and she is still with him, she will be. If you want to help, you take the lead and have a serious speech with him and by serious I mean be ready to do some punching.