Hello, I am a fairly new guy in this field i find sometimes i get into a little conflict with woman where their opinoin is very strong and i don't know how to reply as if i will piss them off and be rude... This happened twice, not a lot and i know i should always diffuse the situation, this is an example of it happening over text. Please help.

I made a lot of mistake over the text as well, can some of you gurus out there help me ?

Me:
Hey *****, It's so hot in Spain, save me !

Me:
Fuck Sake, ignore me one of time, I am never start a conversation with you again.

Girl:
I actually wasn't ignoring you I read your message and forgot to reply. But you know what Tom, what you just said to me was plain rude so don't bother starting a conversation with me again. The way you just spoke to me was inexcusable.

Me:
haha, very well. standing up for yourself... Hope you weren't reply to this just before you went to bed thinking about me

Me:
I was rude. I am sorry. I didn't realise, i just expect people to reply when i speak to them.

Girl:
Okay, thankyou for apologising. I have to admit though you have changed recently. I liked the old Tom who didn't swear and wasn't rude to me. Have a good time in Spain.

Me:
wow, wishing me to have a good time already, you are coming over to save me from this hot weather, getting a tan already

Me:
and if that's the case you aren't going to like me for a while then

Girl:
Well I don't really know what to say to that but I guess ignoring you would just make you angry. Just think it is a shame that you need to use the language that you do and be a bit rude to express yourself! Don't know whether you think it is cool or something but it really isn't.

Me:
This is getting no where; I won't swear at you again, what's your plan for the summer then ? smile please ****girl's name*** !!

Girl:
Just being honest and think you need to hear it! I am going to Scotland soon and it's my sisters 18th next wednesday so are having a party.

Me:
Yeah, you know i find it kind of cute when a girl try to mothers me, but kind of annoying, hard to say. Almost forgot you're half scottish.

Girl:
I'm not mothering you. I am saying it from a friends point of view. If you care at all about how you come across to people then I would consider how you behave and act that is all I am trying to say to you.

Me:
Thank you.
why are so serious all the time ?

Girl:
I'm not serious all the time. If you think I am, then you really don't know me very well. I'm just being honest with you right now.

Me:
Thanks for your honesty, appreciate it.

Girl:
Not sure whether you are being serious. But hope you have a good time in Spain. See you in September.

Me:
I was i was , have a good time in Scotland too...
I think i was*

I fucked up this whole text pretty badly, got to be one of my worst ever conversation. I guess it's NEXT for me then, i like her that's why I fucked this text up ...

Any help is much appreciated

What you did wrong:
1)When you opened from text with the hey, **** blah blah i can't tell whether you called her a bad word or the **** are for her name. If it's a bad word, you have to make sure you make obvious that you're teasing or it can be taken seriously, trust me man, happens to me a lot since i moved countries.
2) You should never send a second text asking or even ackknowledging that she didn't reply. I never send a second message to girls anyways unless its quickly fixing a spelling mistake i made on the msg i already sent. This is like seconds right after i send the messgage, if its been more than a minute and then i notice the mistake, i just say fuck it and not correct the mistake. You don't send more messages unless she replies because it comes off as the #1 turn off to women : Neediness.
3)I feel like you're using the cocky funny way and trying to disarm the situation after she replies by using cocky funny but she just doesn't get it cause it isn't obvious.
4)You pretty much stuck to the topic for too long which made the situation expandor get bigger. After you apologised, you make sure that the conversation doesn't come back to that negative topic again.
5) You made the assumption of her being serious which made her become defensive about herself and then her saying you didnt know her well if you thought that making her feel like you arent even close now if you were before.
6) Finally, When you said the i was i was and then put I think i was ** made it seem like you werent sure of your comment or that you were being sarcastic with her which couldve only made things worse.

What you should do next time:
1) Don't use a bad word in the opener unless you and the girl are very aware of each others personalities.
2) Don't send another msg to her if she doesnt reply.
3) If she doesnt reply don't make it seem like you care about it and just move on/dont think about it.
4) Don't make assumptions about the girl but instead disarm the situation and continue stacking in a playful (and obvious if teasing) way.


I'm sure ive been in a similar situation to this before and i we've both booched the set so don't worry about it, happens to all of us. Anyways man, i suggest not talking to this girl for a good week+ if you plan on talking to her again and when you do make it seem obvious you're teasing her and joking around.

Take care man and have fun!

_________________
Cute girls, coffee, and cheese was the lifestyle i chose.

I completely agree with Rockso.

Also, if you can, avoid teasing people through texts. Since it is text, it is more difficult for them to understand you and they might find it offensive or think that you are being serious. Unless you both know each other REALLY well, don't do it.

Tease them while on the phone that way they can hear the tone of your voice or if they misunderstand you then you can explain yourself right away.

If she doesn't text you right away, don't worry about it. If you freak out you will come off as needy and that will only lower your value.

"why didn't you respond to my text???" This comes off as highly unattractive, desperate, & someone that wants attention

Be cool & relax. Good luck buddy.